Gathering In For Home and Soul

Sitting outside amidst pine trees, a coral setting sun, our crew gathered on the deck. We find the company of each other an affirmation of our essential selves. We find rest, freedom to be ourselves, a place to belong away from the eyes of the world. Crazy though it is, our family are all idealistic writers. Each of us at home this week, (Nathan, Joel, Joy, Clay and me) are working on book deadlines. We cherish the power of the word, and the Word become flesh. Our deck has become a haven of retreat, food, drink, giggles, awash with the antics of our already beloved golden retriever, Darcy, amidst a week of hard work hours and hours every day.

As I look at life from my 60's, I can see how having a place to retreat, a place to grow up without the expectations of outside peers and pressure to perform has been of infinite value. Home is the place where all should feel they belong. It is a place for immature people to grow steadily toward maturity. A place where people are believed in for what someday they will become but may not be yet. A place where the foundation of love is set in steel so that at the end of the day, all fusses, let downs, blow ups, straining towards ideals in a life that is so secular, it disdains ideals--that love holds us all, every day, unconditionally. Love that believes forward by faith in what one will become while saying that today, I love you, because I understand vulnerability. 

Home is a place where even teens can feel a freedom to grow, wiggle, change, question, push. I was remembering how important this was to a sweet one who needed to know I understood that ideals ar what we move toward, even if the warp and woof of life is constantly in flux with growing people.

Furrowed eyebrows above large dark eyes was the signal to me as a mom that something was not right with one of my children. Like my other precious ones, she had faced the challenge of growing up more or less in public and was feeling exposed and fragile, inadequate to live into such a pressured role.

God has blessed our family with the opportunity to interact with so many people from so many different walks of life and to touch others with our ministry, but I had learned very quickly that this was not always easy for my children. And this particular child had begun to grow into a challenging point of adolescence and especially needed attention and affirmation from me.

“Mama, do you ever feel like a hypocrite when your life is so . . .visible? Doesn’t it get hard to keep on writing and speaking about your ideals when your failures are right out there for people to see? Do you ever feel disqualified?”

She went on: “I really need to get away from the voices and eyes of the world right now. Can’t we hole up in the house for a few days and just be ourselves, with all our warts and weirdnesses?” We ended up doing just that.

Truth be told, I could totally relate to what my sweet daughter was saying. I feel like quitting ministry about ten times a week! I am just a normal Christian woman wanting to love Jesus and live according to His example, and God simply called me into a more public place than I would ever have chosen.

How well I know what my child was discovering—the vulnerability that comes from being a leader, from publicly standing firm on an ideal. You put your neck out and stand for principles, and yet you are still only human and make mistakes along the way. Not everyone understands, and there is plenty of criticism to face in the journey.

Add to that our breakneck, high- pressure, high-consumption contemporary culture and it’s easy to reach a place where we feel depleted, needing a place of safety and refuge, desperately thirsty for emotional, physical, and spiritual water to refresh us. The way I have been able to bear all this (most of the time) is to make our fallibility a part of our message. I’ve always been up- front about the reality that I and my family aren’t perfect or always strong.

The way I have been able to bear all this (most of the time) is to make our fallibility a part of our message. I’ve always been up- front about the reality that I and my family aren’t perfect or always strong.

We fall down and mess up like any other family. But even when we’ve blown it, struggled with the dark side of life, or wallowed in our own sin and selfishness, God has been faithful to us. The heart of my message is that God still redeems every moment, every mistake, and every failure.

It is a risk to stand for something, to seek after the holy ways of God, to keep going when you are weary to the bone, to love when you feel hurt and rejected, especially by those who call themselves Christians. Every one of us will be called in some capacity to live into a call that is holy, separating us from the world, and leading us to pathways towards God--and will face this struggle in some way.

That’s why all of us need a place of escape from time to time. We need a home—but not just any home. Home needs to be a haven of safety, acceptance, and unconditional love, a place where we can rest and find refuge from all the devastating and depleting parts of life. And mamas need grace of forgiveness and compassion most of all.

When the storms and difficulties come, home should be the first line of defense against despair, the place doubt can be fully expressed, yet find a place to move forward to faith. A place where failure moments can be met with, "I understand," and ideals can still be at the foundation to hold it up. This is why we must guard our homes as if they were our very lifelines. Because they are! And God wants us to find his mercy, compassion and love in this place of breathing rest.

The Promise of Another Golden Summer

The view of our beloved Pike's Peak on a morning walk with Joy, downtown this week.

 Chattering as we go, measuring our 10,000 daily steps, camaraderie and belonging, bubble over in all of our walks in the wild near our home. A circle of us around a card game, sitting out on the deck for dinner with candlelight, sleeping on the back porch under the clouds, sitting out under the stars in the front yard, or our daily walk on wild paths, are some of the rituals we keep every day as we continue to talk, giggle, pontificate and are awash in the golden moments of our lovely Colorado.

I am always and always tired and weary when I get to late May, early June. It used to be ending a school year with myriad activities. Now it seems to always be mounting high, idealistic adventures with our adult kids' dreams and projects and for the last several years, another book deadline. May 30, one more book written! :)

Sarah will be home soon to find a wedding dress, and make final arrangements for her wedding in August. Nathan has just visited for two golden weeks while writing our book about out of the box kids, and a webcast to share some of our heart with you. Joel and Joy here for the time being, working to save for their schools in the United Kingdom next year, (Joel getting his Masters of Conducting and Choral Music in Cambridge and Joy a Masters of Theology of Imagination at St. Andrews),  and we have so many wonderful memories ahead to make in one more Colorado summer. We mark our lives by one more meal or tea time we seem to be eating all the time in summer when everyone comes together. As the kids said at the conferences this year, we are all hobbits. If we didn't walk every day, we would be 900 pounds big and happy.

Our favorite snack meal--(especially if I make home-made bread or buy some from a friend!) fruit, chips, hummus, cheese, sandwich meat rolled up, popcorn, and whatever we have in the cupboard that is already made. This helps when I don't want the kitchen to get hot because we do not have air conditioning. The rare days that the temperature is over 90, we just wait through the days, as at 7250 feet high, we just live with the windows open and sleep with fresh mountain air every night.

Now that everyone is older, I make each child (all adults) cook one dinner meal during the week and wash all of the dishes on that night. Then they have 5 other days of the week totally off. All of us have become pretty good cooks--and all of us are natural, organic types, so it is great fun to feast together.

Many of you loved this recipe in the past and I have had new requests for it.One more easy meal that even the boys make was begun by Sarah. So it became:

Sarah-strone

2 Turkey sausages sliced thin

I whole onion, chopped

a heaping tablespoon of garlic

1 large can (29 ounces?) tomatoes (I like the chopped)

1 full can of water--or a little more to taste

2-3 thinly sliced zucchini

1-2 tablespoons olive oil

1 can beans (navy beans preferred--but we didn't have them last night so we used pinto)

1-2 teaspoons salt to taste

1 heaping tablespoon Italian seasoning

Saute sausage, onions and garlic in olive oil in a large soup pan. Add the tomatoes, water, salt and zucchini. Simmer for 20-30 minutes until the zucchini is soft. Add the beans and seasoning and salt. Simmer another little while (I think it tastes better if you just leave it on to simmer while you are doing other things--the tastes blend together better.)

Sprinkle Parmesan cheese and a small dollop of sour cream on top and enjoy!

This was a great summer treat for us last year that Sarah made up on the spur of the moment! I had to repeat it this week to be sure I knew how! It is a real pleaser.

The pathway behind our home--awash in beautiful blues, gorgeous--everywhere!

Every once in a while, life seems at peace in all areas.

 It does not happen often, but when it does, I have learned to cherish each moment and store up the goodness of it for future times.

Walking with Joy and the boys last night in our nearby national forest. God smiling from heaven.

Finally, after all the weeks of travel, turning in 2 books, hosting friends from afar in our home,   I am putting rhythms into our lives--for my sake.  We all feel called to minster as a family and to speak and reach out and do what the Lord has put on our plates to do, but really, we love home--the comfort, the meals, the fellowship and the life.

So every day that we are able to cherish this life is a gift.

Clay is in his element with most  of us home to talk and have fun--soon to be everyone--and life will be wild but good. Sometimes with all the noise he retreats to his man-cave, but we feel happy to be together again.

Giddy about Sarah's upcoming wedding in Oxford. Can't wait to have Nathan come back to shoot a new film, soon after Sarah's wedding. We are all such pals and I will deeply miss all of the fuss and fun when they all leave by fall.

This, after all the seasons of living through the stages of younger children--those times when you wonder if your children will be friends.

And wonder if you have more conflict in your home than others do--but I have to say, if you are raising your children to be confident, independent thinkers--there will always be a little tension.

Since I know my children don't come home for as long now, when they want to talk, I drop everything. When they say, "Hey, Mom, fix me breakfast--it always tastes better when you do it." Then I do it and enjoy it, knowing sometime soon, they will be gone. But also knowing that it was being available to make many such memories and serving them so often when they little boys and wee girls, that makes them want to come home one more time.

So happy to be full into summer warmness, at least we have hit the 60's, and leaving the duties of the world behind.

I wish you a golden summer with room to breathe and beauty to enjoy.

Grace & Wisdom for the Out of the Box Child in Your Life

What makes a child gifted and talented may not always be good grades in school, but a different way of looking at the world and learning.

Chuck Grassley

ADD, OCD, ODD, rebellious, out of control, learning issues, mental illness, depressed, and more were the various evaluations we heard over the years about Nathan, my 27 year old son.

The past two weeks he has been home and we have been busily working on our new book about our story as mother and child living in a mysterious world of all of these issues. As we have reflected on our journey from birth to young adulthood, it has brought us, once again, closer to realize all that we have been through together.

We want our webcast to be as helpful as possible. We know end of the school year is filled with activities and all are exhausted from a long winter, but we thought we would do a webcast while he is home for a couple of weeks, as he will not be here again until the fall.

Some of the things we will discuss cover teen issues, as well as educational issues, sibling problems, the comments from well-meaning others who have a perfect solution for your child--even though they do not have a clue of what your life at home is like--and how not to walk in guilt.

Hope you can join us. Tell us some of your questions below and we will try to get to some of them. Looking forward to meeting with you tonight--7 Mountain Time, live, comments from others all over the world.

You can listen and watch this later if you are not able to attend tonight, but the price will go up slightly after Tuesday night, for service and admin. Sign up HERE

PS We have to shut down registration when we activate the webcast software. Please sign up early as we cannot let you in the webcast after we have begun connecting to those coming into our web area.

Building Your Life on the Right Foundations Own Your Life Podcast Series

Michelangelo's Painting of Creation of Man

Starting with the right foundations

Last summer, as Joy and I ventured out on a ministry exploratory trip to Italy, we stopped on our first jet-lagged day to see the Vatican. Marveling at the classic paintings, inlaid tile, marble statues filled us with a sense of reverence for the lives that had gone before through hundreds of years in this ancient city.

Yet, once again, my imagination stirred at the frescoes Michelangelo painted while lying on his back in the small, lovely Sistine Chapel-the story of the Bible painted through His imagination.

There again, I was filled with awe to see the fingers of God touching the fingers of man to bring life to his being. God created man, crafted him to bear his image, placed his fingerprints on his DNA. It is no small thing to be created, specially designed, imagined in the mind of the one who crafted the whole universe.

Each of us has the imprint, the unique touch of God on our lives. We have stored within our being the spectacular ability to think profoundly, to act heroically, to love sacrificially, to accomplish works of excellence, to live faithfully. Each of us is a miracle with only one life in which to live into the profound design that God has placed on our lives.

If there was one legacy I wish I could leave to other women, it would be to help them think more Biblically, to know more about the transcendent God who is their Father, and to have confidence because of the magnitude of His life inside of us.

When a woman knows scripture--the whole counsel of scripture, not just verses here and there taken out of context-- gaining a Biblical understanding from Genesis to Revelation, then she has more confidence and ease in her walk with God. It is also why I hope to give a good bit of my life in the next years to our podcasts, where women will learn a little of Biblical instruction, foundations, prayer, Bible study--to follow God in our lives as we serve and love Him. I hope to continue to invest my life into helping women know how to teach and love God in such a way in front of their children, that their children embrace a vibrant faith. But to pass on great faith requires that we cultivate a deep faith for ourselves.

God makes it clear throughout scripture that his priority for us is to know Him and love Him with our whole heart and mind.

"Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, let not a rich man boast of his riches, let not a mighty man boast of his might, but let him who boasts, boast of this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the God who exercises lovingkindness and righteousness on the earth for I delight in these things." Jeremiah 9: 23-24

And, "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it." Psalm 127

And so the starting point for any arena in our lives must be God--our worship of Him and knowledge of Him and obedience--a heart that wants to please God.

So, let me begin by  praying  for all who read this today. "Lord, I pray that each one who reads these blog articles and listens to these podcasts will be led by you. I pray you will provide them with insight, skill, love, wisdom and the understanding of what it means to be filled with your Spirit and to walk by faith in this journey of motherhood. And bless them with strength, joy and a sense of affirmation in their great calling as parents. I come to you in the precious name of Jesus. Amen"

A part of knowing and trusting God is to understand and embrace that He knows our circumstances, He sees us, He is able to redeem every single situation and can restore health to our weak, exhausted or damaged lives.

I love the verse, "‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. ‘Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. ‘You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. "

A part of us living joyfully with God in the midst of our circumstances is embracing this truth--He has "plans for our welfare"--He has our best in mind. "not for calamity--but to give you a future and a hope."

Right now, where all of us are--there is hope for a better future if we allow Him to guide our lives.

Romans  8:28 says, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

Often we are tempted to say:

It is too late. I have already messed up my children." "I am scarred by the decisions I have made." "I can't even imagine how God can redeem my life right now, or my circumstances."

When I gave my life to the Lord, almost immediately and for the next 12 years, my life became very hard--illness in my family, a divorce in my family, problems in my personal life, problems in the ministry, loneliness as a single woman, difficulties with work, finances--2 car wrecks, a church split, immoral leaders in our church, and on and on. Throughout some of this time, I thought, "God, do you care about me? I can't believe that I have loved you so much and you have allowed all of this to happen."

Today on the podcast, and in this chapter of Own Your Life, I shared more about my "come to Jesus" moment while hiding behind a couch, and finding that my place of utter fear and disillusionment became a place of worship for me and put me on a road to understanding what would become the messages of my whole life.

Yet, now, I look back and see that, because God was a great parent to me. He did not pay attention to my immature toddler whining, because He had my best in mind. He wanted me to grow stronger, more compassionate, more full of faith, more loving and patient. His allowing the difficult circumstances in my life helped to take away all of the false hopes I was depending on to be happy. His way of leading me led me to freedom and maturity and in the end more contentedness.

God is the God of second chances and His whole nature is to love and redeem. So, know that He is in your home, He sees you, hears your cry and may just be working great things--even if you can't see or understand how. He favors those who seek Him and obey Him and He is a God of compassion and will work in and through your life.

(Even as a Father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. Psalm 103: 13)

Once my little girl was having a grand time eating a huge bag of potato chips she had found in our cupboard. When I had to take the chips away from her so that she would not get a stomach ache, she fell down on the floor and sobbed as though I had been utterly mean to her! But, as her mother, I knew what was best. I ignored her crying and took her in my arms and held her and sang to her in a rocking chair until she settled down.

But a part of our submitting to God and experiencing His love and care is in releasing our expectations of life into His hands and trusting Him even when we cannot easily feel or see Him, but trusting Him that he is good and a kind Father.

It all starts with your view of God--if you choose to believe that He is loving, you will face your circumstances with courage, patience, faith. But if you just want Him to do your will your way--you may find life disappointing. He is all wise and knows just how to turn every part of our life puzzle into good, or wisdom or redemption--if we trust all of the details of our lives into His hands--and trust what His word teaches us.

Ultimately, so much of what I lived and what I know to be true, I learned by reading scripture, pondering it, studying it, seeking to really know God and walking with Him. Pondering Christ, who is the perfect reflection of God, according to Hebrews 1.

Women will go the way of their church culture, media culture, family culture, peer culture--they will follow whoever is leading, unless they have developed their own convictions. We will listen to other voices if we have not learned to discern the voice of God.

The problem with this kind of approach is that it leads to whims, to whatever way the cultural wind is blowing.

And so, God, our heavenly Father, wants us to climb into His arms, to surrender all of ourselves into His capable hands. I love this verse that speaks so generously of how tender God's love is for us: ""As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you." Isaiah 66:13

God even compares himself to a mother who holds, cherishes and comforts His child.

Today, remember that His plans for you are for your welfare. He loves you and is bigger than any difficulty you face. He understands all of your ways, and He longs to give you hope and blessing.

Enjoy the podcast for this week, let us know what you think, and please share it!

Don't forget to sign up for the live webcast for Tuesday, May 24, 7:00 Mountain time. If you can't join us live, if you register, you can listen to it at your leisure. We will be discussing:

*If you are discouraged in your role as a mom, find hope for learning how to love and accept your children and your role with more grace.

*Discerning personality differences and learning how to reach the hearts of challenging children.

*Learning to find help for your out of the box children.

*Understanding from a real out of the box child how he felt about growing up "different" and what helped him to keep going.

*Learning how to endure with grace through the difficult pathways of motherhood.

Hope you can join Nathan and me. We are learning so much together as we are finishing writing our new book this week. Register HERE

Celebrating Family Culture

The flicker of candlelight, the luscious aromas of hot cinnamon rolls and strong coffee, and lots of noise and laughter filled the kitchen as we tucked into breakfast together. Thus began our twenty-fifth year of celebrating the story and heritage of our family. Family Day, as we call it, is a time of remembering who we are as a family as well as documenting what God has done in our family and committing to Him our hopes for the future.

It all started back when our kids were little, with a passage from the Old Testament. We read that Joshua, commissioned with the difficult task of overseeing the Hebrew people after Moses’ death, knew that his people needed to constantly be reminded of who they were—God’s chosen people who had been called to possess the land

God had provided for them. So Joshua came up with a unique way to make the abstract truth of God’s promises very tangible and real to the Israelites. They would gather large memorial stones and place them as a monument to stand throughout many generations, documenting God’s faithfulness to His people (see Joshua 4).

Clay and I wanted our children to have that kind of palpable reminder of God’s commitment to our family. So we began setting aside an annual day to name and remember the important events of the previous twelve months. In the very beginning we used actual pebbles for our “memorial stones” and had the kids draw pictures of the events. As the kids grew older, we just listed the events, although we persisted in calling the items in the list “stones.” We thanked

God for every stone and preserved all of our pictures and lists in a family album. This tradition gave our children an expectation that we would always be purposeful and intentional about who our family was, what we stood for, and how we would approach our future.

We still have Family Day every year even though our children are now grown and living away from home, and we still begin the day by listing our “memorial stones” together. This practice reminds us not only of God’s faithfulness to us individually and as a family but also of the fact that we are inextricably tied to one another, bound in loyalty.

It is a renewed annual commitment to always be there for one another. Our Family Day celebration also helps us reaffirm our family culture—our values, traditions, tastes, words, and music, and the infinite amount of other things that define us as Clarksons.

Throughout the Old Testament, God was always commanding the Israelites to remember. His feast days were all about recalling what

He had provided in His faithfulness to His chosen people, and they were admonished to remember His teachings as well. I believe He wants us to remember, too, because forgetfulness is the fastest way to failure. Remembering is an act of rooting ourselves deep in the soil of our spiritual heritage.

When our children were growing up, we wanted to empower them by repeating the stories of God’s miraculous intervention throughout history and in our own lives. We shared with them how

God had taken our loaves and fish—a desire to start a ministry with no money, no books, and no conferences—and multiplied them beyond our wildest imaginations. We created a constant narrative of God’s desire to use them to change the world. And throughout the years we used our annual Family Day lists to affirm the little miracles along the way.

God is Out of the Box--And So Are We!

One cold, snowy winter's day, Nathan, then 14, and a budding philosopher,  was drinking a cup of hot chocolate in our kitchen. He said, "I'm so glad our God is out of the box in our home!"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, a lot of people we know act like God is mad or disappointed with us when we are not perfect. I'm even afraid of some of your mama friends and I sometimes feel like I might get in trouble just for being with them."

"It feels to me like lots of people we know think that God is more concerned about a rule to be kept and behavioral standard of quietness and respect to keep--knowing all the rules and keeping them."

"I am so glad the God we believe in is the One who created chili peppers for fajitas, Celtic music to dance to, puppy dogs to be snuggled, jokes for giggling, and stars to enjoy when we sleep out on the deck. We enjoy Him and celebrate Him in our home and look for his fingertips in creation. We don't just work for him—that's what I mean."

I was so thankful that is what he perceived in our home, at least at this time,—a personal creator-God, filled with infinite ideas of ways to fill our world with things to enjoy. And a place where he could feel he belonged with all of his bigger-than-life personality.

Many Christians tend to defend fervently their theological underpinnings and argue rigorously the tenets of doctrine. Yet often I have observed that in choosing to live only in a cerebral world of "what I know intellectually about God," they miss so much of his personality and nature, which can be observed through his role as the Artist.

Please know that I am an avid student and teacher of scripture and love the foundational truths that fill my mind and soul that I also upheld through the years in our home.

Yet because we live in an isolated, somewhat cerebral time, we define our worth by what we know or what kind of a degree we have or by the work we accomplish. Our spirituality is often expressed by the theological philosophy we claim—charismatic or reformed or Baptist or Catholic. Data, facts, and knowledge as reflected by scores on academic tests are often the measure of a person's worth.

God condemned the pharisees for being men of law and no compassion for the downhearted or heart for the true God. They were more concerned about keeping law than loving God.

Why do I keep on writing articles about beauty, creation, the boundaries of God's life being bigger than we can imagine? Because I live in a world of young adults that are leaving the faith by the droves. Children who are raised on the dry bones of rules rather than on the vibrant love, beauty and goodness of a living God are not captivated in their hearts to follow God. Rules do not engage the heart or imagination of living a great story for God's glory.

God is interested in us engaging with Him through our days, in prayer, worship by serving Him in the many moments of our daily life. Our children will believe in God when they see that He influences, fills and inspires our behavior and attitudes through out all the seasons of our lives because He is real to us--both through His word and through His spirit living through our lives.

Life is fast-paced, efficient, impersonal.

We regularly shut God out of our lives to center our attention on worldly achievement or efficiency and then wonder where He has gone.

Such an overemphasis on the academic and technological determines that a relationship with God will be dryly intellectual or clever but obviously absent of feeling, awe inspiring reverence as at the beauty of a snowflake and delight in the colors and variety that also express his personality.

It would be like writing or defending a long treatise on the role of a father, his character, and the history of fatherhood—separate from relating personally and intimately with him. No "report on fatherhood" would ever satisfy our need to experience life with an actual father, the life that comes from engaging in the personality, friendship, and companionship of a real live person.

God intended that we become witnesses of his beauty, design, color, and pleasure so that we could gain a more intimate, real, and personal knowledge of him. God does not want to be just a thought to know, but a personally engaging friend and Father whose relationship with us is filled with memory, delight, and moments to be experienced and enjoyed.

Is your picture of God, his transcendence, HIs joy, His beauty, His love and affection a part of the design of your home? Your home is a workshop to reflect the many facets of the jewel of His reality. What three things can you begin to change in your home so that everyone feels they have come into contact with the Living, vibrant God when they come through the doors of your home?

Be inspired with new ideas and ways to bring His reality in your home through The Lifegiving Home.

Also, don't forget to sign up for our live webcast next Tuesday night where Nathan and I will be sharing more about our thoughts of giving all of our children, especially our out of the box ones, a place to belong and become all that they were meant to be.

Information at the link below!

Don't miss an evening, up close and personal--Your Out of the Box Child

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My Nathan is home!

Sequestered alone in Sarah's room, where for the moment, no one could find me, I began to read the chapters of the book Nathan had sent to me. We had embarked on another unique journey for us to write a book about what it was like for him, and for me, to go through our journey as a mama and boy through the years of our home with him, the out of the box boy, (clinical ocd, add, a spectrum of autism and a few other tiny issues), and me the mama who had to figure it all out.

I had never really asked him how he had felt being different than the others--a more different kind of different. But now, here were his memories all tied in a bundle of words. His heartfelt issues that followed him, made his "fitting in" harder, finding home a safe haven have all opened up memories and a new world of understanding into his heart.

I know so many of you have children who are "different" in their own ways--perhaps harder to reach, carrying some mysterious issues that you are trying to figure out, or just wanting to know how to reach the hearts of all of your children who are different from one another.

Screenshot 2016-05-12 23.52.46

Nathan and I are working on the final parts of the book these next two weeks, so we decided that since we were together, we would do a live webcast and share some of what we have discovered through the years of his life in our home. I hope you will join us if you need encouragement, hope, inspiration or just sympathy in your journey of motherhood. You can sign up for the webcast HERE or by putting your curser on the box below. 

We all love children who are easy to train and quick to learn, but what does it look like to love the kid who is mysterious, challenging, and outside-the-lines? How on earth do you even begin with your child who just can't quite be tamed? Tune in to this dynamic conversation between Sally Clarkson and her own "superman" son, Nathan, and gain an understanding of what it means to cherish the unique person that God has created your challenging child to be. Learn how God has particularly chosen you for the task of seeking out their gifts, understanding their different voice, and learning to see the image of God within them. Sally will give her own unique insight and practical suggestions about how to help your children grow and flourish, even those with special challenges and setbacks. Nathan will share from his own heart about his experience as a child with a different personality and a unique mind, and give you rare insight into how an outside-the-box kid might operate.

Included topics:

- What could possibly be going through my child's mind?

- Reach the heart, not the behavior

- Love them for how God has created them, not how we want them to be

- Unique Children Require Unique Paths

And much more!

Please join us for this very special conversation, and gain a deeper understanding of how to love your own "different" children! 

Great News! Our friends from Dallas have invited us to an evening up close and personal with me and my son Joel for a Life Giving Home Encounter. We would love to see you there and have an evening of meeting and talking to many of you who we communicate with every day through the blog and podcasts. Join us and bring your friends for beautiful evening together. Register HERE

Screenshot 2016-05-16 21.20.19

Intentionally Learning to Own Your Life

 

"Mama, I just can't wait to talk to you. After all of these years, I am seeing so many elements of my life dove-tailing into a focussed purpose and a really happy life. I can see how God was using all of the years of waiting on Him, being faithful, studying hard, living through years of faith and loneliness to prepare me for a time when I would flourish."

As I rolled over sleepily, yawning, stretching and trying to get my eyes to open, I grabbed my phone to check the time. The darkness of night was fading away into the early freshness of a Monday morning. The little "ding" had awakened me to tell me I had a text and I knew it would probably be one of my kids--either Nathan in New York or Sarah in Oxford. Both sent texts before I was out of bed on lots of mornings where it was barely 6 in the morning, my time.

As it happens, this time it was Sarah. What an amazing season this has been for her. Working 20 hours a week while studying in Oxford was a rhythm she had to practice and grow into, as the labor for her job and for her many thousands of pages she had to read and the papers she had to write were an uphill challenge. Falling in love with a kindred spirit, wonderful man, who had also been practicing faithfulness his whole life was now culminating into a "blessed by all" engagement. Sarah was beginning to become recognized in areas of writing, thinking and ideas by her professors and leaders in Oxford that she had been working on for years. This had given her one of the most productive years of her young adulthood.

At almost 33, she was seeing the many years of prayers coming together to answer beyond what she ever imagined. But without the years of practicing faithfulness, waiting on God, studying and writing books, learning to live a life thad had seasons of perseverance and  loneliness, she would never be suited to the challenging life God has taken her to in Oxford. Her period of waiting on God and enduring through many difficult years with very little promise of what would come, caused her to seek God over and over again. It required faith in what she hoped for, conviction of things not seen. She had dreamed of studying in Oxford for years, but always there were obstacles that seemed impossible to overcome.

Most of us must wait through years of growth and training to begin to see the work of our lives starting to come to fruition. Through these years of challenge, how important it is that we Own Our Lives by walking them in faith and obedience in our Father, God.

Sarah and me recently when I went to Oxford to help her plan her wedding. :)

Over a decade of one challenging year after the other, as she prayed and waited for God to open doors, I encouraged Sarah to keep going, keep praying, keep working. But as a parent I could not remove her from the stress she had to live through as a young adult. She had to build her own spiritual muscle one day at a time. And yet, now I see the fruit of an adult who is entering into perhaps the greatest years and most abundant work of her life. Without the faithfulness in the hard years, the fruitful years would not have been possible.

When I held Sarah as a babe in my arms, I dreamed of the Pollyanna perfect life I wanted her to have--all roses, good friends and happiness of life. Instead, as I prayed for her to become godly, the challenges of her life increased. Difficulty, illness, challenges seemed to accompany her wherever she went. When I was questioning God about his tactics, it was as though he whispered, "Make up your mind--do you want her to be spiritually strong and a shining light in her culture doing kingdom work as an adult or do you want her to be a happy wimp, without character and wisdom! I have a plan for her life that will lead her to great moral and spiritual strength, but it will require you to let me lead her through paths of training without trying to remove the difficulty along the way.

God has created us for a life that will be filled with His blessing and favor. Yet, as our parent, he wants us to thrive after we have allowed Him to build the emotional, spiritual and godly character muscles of our lives required for his work. Godliness is a process of maturity and strength that comes through years of preparing our hearts to follow Him, our wills to be obedient, and our life choices to be ones of integrity.

As we begin reading through and discussing Own Your Life through the podcasts and blog posts in the months ahead, Kristen and I hope that you will be inspired, encouraged and engaged to continue to lean into God's will and choices for your own life. Summer is such a great time to establish new rhythms and goals for life.

Is it possible that you are in a season of training grounds within God's purposes to build spiritual and emotional strength and character? How are you leaning into His plans for you? The puzzle you now find yourself living?

Below are some questions from the book that we hope you will evaluate this week as you begin this series with us. Take time to sit alone with a journal, or with the Own Your Life journal, and answer these questions as we enter into some chapters of personal evaluation.

***Am I living an intentional life?

***Am I making decisions based on Biblical values?

***Am I choosing pathways that will create deep, loving relationships and give value to the people who personally connect with me?

***Am I willing to take risks of faith to invest my life in the things of eternity?

***Am I listening to the world (peer pressure) or to the voice of God?

***Am I living with Christ and His life as the pattern of my own life?

***Do I see this day, these circumstances as a place where I can fulfill God's will for me?

Enjoy the podcast and share it with friends! It is always great to go through a book or Bible study with friends and then you build your own support system.

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Nathan is flying in today to work more intensely with me on our new book about different, out of the box kids and how God gave us a story of grace for him and for me. If you have a child who is difficult, hard to handle or figure out, or a challenge to your parenting, sign up for our webcast--next Tuesday, we will spend an evening together sharing our story in a live webcast. Hope you can join us. Sign up by putting your curser on the box below and you can read more about the webcast!

Hope you have a great week. I am praying for those of you who come to my blog each day.

Engaging Your Children With Story and History

"Sally, do you ever wish there were some men who could tell your boys stories of great accomplishments, or mentor them in godly character--maybe at a place of work, or in serving others in ministry? Or women who have sacrificed their lives to build a legacy of faith and love in their family? I feel like there is no one who can show my children how to be courageous, self-sacrificing, humble, strong.I just wish I had more real live examples."

This from a friend whose children are entering the teen years.

I hear this often--where are the men willing to disciple and mentor, the women who are willing to teach me how to be effective. I long for someone to talk to in real life."

I hear this all the time. How we need to see people--us--stepping up to the bat to be strong for God so others will have a model to follow.

The eleventh chapter of Hebrews pays tribute to men and women—Abel, Abraham, Sarah, David, and many others—who lived in the warp and woof of life’s trials but, instead of giving in to the cultural norms of compromise, kept their eyes on heaven and lived exceptional lives. They made decisions to trust God in all the hard places, and as a result “God is not ashamed to be called their God” (verse 16).

These are people who made the story of the Bible worth knowing, the men and women who set a pattern for us to follow. They are our spiritual heroes—and we are called to follow in their footsteps.

We hear a lot about heroes these days, mostly in terms of specific acts of physical or emotional bravery. We celebrate soldiers and firefighters and get excited about civilians who pull strangers from burning vehicles. We love to watch movies about “good guys” fighting “forces of evil” on a grand scale and superheroes with special powers. Such tales of heroism can be entertaining and even inspiring. But they often give a limited and skewed picture of what it really means to be a hero.

Biblical heroism starts with a passion to love and serve God through actions, stewardship, relationships, and obedience. Often, they go unnoticed. True heroes are in the habit of serving others because they are compelled to give of themselves as Jesus gave. They are motivated to endure and do good not only in big, climactic battles but also in the grind of everyday living. And when a sacrifice is required, when the need to lay down one’s life for another comes along, true heroes are not surprised; they have already been imagining this to be their service of worship to God.

 I fear, our culture is deficient in that kind of hero. I recently found myself in a meeting with a group of high- level business leaders.

The conversation centered on new recruits from universities, many of whom were already in a position to make important decisions. I can still remember an elderly executive, an advisor for and recruiter of many of these newest team members, who shared his unvarnished thoughts.

The problem, he said, was that most younger college graduates who were applying for these positions were ill prepared to take on such responsibility. “They have not read broadly on many subjects and haven’t developed a strong worldview. Their image of themselves does not include hard work, sacrifice, or perspective from others who have gone before to lay a legacy of faithfulness. Their work can be sloppy, their initiative is non-existent, and laziness is a norm. As a consequence, they have almost no historical perspective of what character was in generations gone by.

“Because they are media dependent,” he added, these kids “are subject to believing popular views espoused by that media.

Because they have been raised on quick sound bites and insubstantial TV ‘wisdom,’ their opinions are shallow and reactionary. Thinking clearly, synthesizing high-minded ideas, developing an appetite for substantial literature, immersing themselves in the works of great, classical thinkers—not only are these things not part of their daily habits; they are as good as alien to them. Add to that a lack of character training and an inability to do hard work through difficult seasons, and you will find it almost impossible to find an excellent candidate for work who can handle such important responsibilities.”

I fear that this executive’s words are accurate about many young adults now emerging into broader culture. While there is more information available for the taking than at any other time in history, there seems to be less understanding of truth than ever before. Few young adults of this generation seem to have been captured by the call to be true heroes in their own lives.

Scripture talks often about the perils of neglecting to guide a child. Many are easily led as sheep to moral or spiritual slaughter, so to speak, because they have never been taught to examine their values or think for themselves.

Ignorance and mental weakness bring poverty of soul and set people on a dangerous course.

When adults lack character, their children have little chance of developing it themselves. But the opposite is also true. The home, in fact, is the ideal training ground for heroes.

Mother's roles are more important than ever. They are the hero shapers, those who guide the values of their children, inspire them with great stories, train them to have the character that perseveres through temptation and trials.

Scripture commands us to love God with our whole being—heart and soul and mind (Matthew 22:37).

Mothers train hearts to love God, to have a heart for others in need

Mothers fill souls with treasures of truth, wisdom, discretion from Biblical wisdom.

Mothers capture their children's minds with great ideas, classical history, strong world views based on truth.

Where mothers are committed to shaping children into biblical servants and courageous believers, there will be hope in every generation for those who will pass on righteousness, carry on Kingdom work.

Today, your labor has eternal significance. May God give you vision for hero-shaping in your home.

(Some of this was excerpted from The Life Giving Home Experience)

And don't forget, buy your Own Your Life Books today. I am starting a new podcast series for the summer on Own Your Life to refresh and inspire you in your vision for life during this season. Kindle edition is on sale through Sunday.

Making the Most of Every Moment (part two!)

Go here if you missed part one, yesterday! Walking up the red dirt trail in the gentle sun of a perfect mountain day, Nathan and I slowly wound around the green slopes, always climbing, and chatted about memories of our family stays at the Castle in previous years. Finally, we crested the hill and came to a bench perched on the pine-covered hillside. It peered over a beautiful vista of mountains, trees, skies, and the spire of the Castle, nestled in the glen below. There near the bench were the tombstones of Dawson Trotman and his wife, Lila, who died within a year of one another. We caught our breath and sat down.

"I brought you here because it is a favorite place of mine to pray," I began, as the wind cooled us off. "Dawson Trotman started this ministry as an outreach to young military men who desperately needed to know the love and grace of God. Through his ministry thousands of young adults and college students became Christians and learned how to study the Bible and minister to others. He was just a normal man who trusted God to do great things."

As I warmed up to my story, I went on to recount for Nathan the history of how Dawson, a young man of God, had a vision for Glen Eyrie as a place to teach and train Christians from all over the world, and how he dedicated his life to "knowing God and making God known" through the ministry of The Navigators. But he did more than give his life spiritually for others; he also gave his life physically. Not long after moving to Glen Eyrie, Dawson was on a trip to New York to visit friends. On a water skiing outing, a young woman who couldn't swim was thrown into the lake. Dawson went in after her, holding her head above water until she was safe again in the boat— but before the others could reach him, he went under and drowned. He gave his life serving and saving others.

"Dawson Trotman was a great man," I said to Nathan, "and I think that God is making you into a great man too. I'm praying that, just like he did with Dawson, he'll use you to influence many people for Christ. I don't know exactly how he'll do that yet, but I am confident he will." I touched my son's hand and said, "I would like to dedicate your life to the Lord here today, in prayer. You are on the brink of venturing out into the world to discover the work God created you to do. But before I do, I want to tell you some of the special and unique qualities I see in your life that I appreciate."

I took the next few moments to remind Nathan of his many good qualities and skills—his fun personality and ease with people, his artistic and creative skills, his sketches and photographs, his ability to be such a good friend, his music, and his heart for the Lord and desire to serve him. "I can't wait to see what God does in your life," I ended. "Can we pray together to commit your life, dreams, desires for a wife, and your future work and ministry to the Lord?"

Nathan and I held hands and prayed together, yielding his life on this mountaintop to the Lord. It was one of those poignant, memorable moments that I will never forget. But it happened only because I took an opportunity to be with him and turned it into a moment to celebrate him and give his life to God.

Memory accomplished!

As we hiked back to the car, we talked and giggled and discussed lots of "stuff' that came easily to our minds. But my heart was full knowing that, whatever was ahead, we had together committed his life into God's hands, and that Nathan had let me, one more time, be a voice of truth in his life.

Be sure to click here to sign up for Nathan and my webinar two weeks from now--How to Love Your Outside the Box Kid!

Don't miss: Lifegiving Home Encounter live evening events!

Joel and I had so much fun visiting with several hundred amazing women when we traveled to North Carolina to host 2 Life Giving Home evenings with speaking and music. Many of you have invited us to speak in your areas and we are hoping to add more. But we are excited to tell you about two places we will be in the next couple of months. If you live in these areas, join us and tell your friends.

NASHVILLE AND SAN DIEGO FRIENDS: We're coming to your area! Joel and I will be providing exciting one-night events, including a workshop from me, a short concert from Joel, and an in-depth Q&A. Make sure you pick up your tickets soon!

NASHVILLE, click here!

SAN DIEGO, click here!