What Women Want & Need & A Podcast

"I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with unfailing kindness." Jeremiah 31:3

When God looks at us, his children, us who are fearfully and wonderfully made, He cherishes us as we are, His very own beloved children. If we could picture Him holding us thus, and looking tenderly at us, how differently we would feel in life. We would not worry what others thought. We would understand our great worth. We would treat others with more grace and acceptance for what we had received in our hearts.

From Genesis to Revelation, He is there creating beauty for us, providing for us, teaching us, dying for us, preparing a new home for us--ever the lover, ever the compassionate Father. He does not see us as failures, but as His children in the process of growing, on a journey toward maturity. 

I have been meeting with my national team of directors this weekend. We are passionate about coming alongside you to encourage you on this long marathon of motherhood. We know that you are strategic as mothers because you are helping to shape the hearts, minds, and souls of the next generation of adults. Your hard work will last for eternity. 

My team has developed the most beautiful, comprehensive and inspiring membership for our community. We dreamed about providing content each month that would feel like a mini-conference to inspire women. We envisioned articles about biblical leadership and helping women grown in their faith, Lifegiving Home traditions and articles, stories for children about musicians and artists, the best lists of storybooks moms could use with their own children, Bible study, legacy talks from me given over the past two decades of ministry, recipes, downloadable posters for table talk, group ministry ideas, and so much more. I just can't believe how beautiful it is. This is a small sample of what our over 1000 members received June 1, and a sample of what they receive each month. 

Our June content. 

With 15 contributors and a staff of techies who support this site, we were able to make it as affordable as about 3 coffees a month. Join us and women from every continent to be inspired, supported, and encouraged in your own journey as a woman and mother. We have you in mind every month as we prepare new content for you. Read more about it HERE

Summer is a great time to refresh your heart and mind and we have special articles planned for this summer to give you some soul restoration. 

You'll find all this and more only on Life with Sally

• Bible Study with Sally—Reflections and devotional thoughts from Sally's personal studies of books and topics of Scripture.
   

• Legacy Talks by Sally—Encouragement in six areas of life curated from two decades of Sally's ministry and messages.
   

• Topic Series with Sally—Special series by Sally drawn from her books and other resources for living as a lifegiving mother.

• Book Talk—Discussions about great children's books and family reading with Holly Packiam, Sally, and Sarah Clarkson.
   

• Arts Talk—Discussions about music and the visual arts with violinist Terri Moon, Kristen Kill, Joy Clarkson, and others.
   

• Lifegiving—Thoughts from Sally about building a lifegiving home, creating a lifegiving table, and being a lifegiving family.
   

• Private Forum—A forum only for Life with Sally members to ask questions, discuss topics, and find community.
   

• Much More—Lifegiving home and table tips, topics, and recipes; special offers and downloads; insider news and information. 

Join me today on my podcast as my leaders share with me their own struggles and difficulties as moms as well as their own vision for what women need. 

This Summer, Go on a Hero Hunt! & A Podcast!

“Then David said to the Philistine, “You come to me with a sword, a spear, and a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have taunted.” I Samuel 17:45

When Nathan was a young child, he was captivated by stories about heroes. He spent hours in his own costumes, doing battle with swords and shields against imaginary villains.

One night we were acting out the story of David and Goliath. Nathan wanted to be David, because he knew David was the hero. Clay, of course, was Goliath. He ad-libbed some taunts with his deep Goliath voice: “I defy you, men of Israel. Send out a man. Come and fight me!” And then, looking at Nathan, he bellowed, “Why, you’re just a boy. Am I a dog that you come to me with sticks? Are you a coward?” To which Nathan straightened his back, raised his sword, and shouted boldly back in his four-year-old voice, “Yes, I am!” He wasn’t sure what a coward was, but if he was the hero, he would be one with all his heart. We couldn’t contain our laughter, but we quickly recovered and went on to make sure the young hero David could slay Goliath.

I look back on that night more than twenty years later and see more than just a fun family story. Even then, Nathan was putting hero stories into his heart. He would go on to inhabit other heroes in his childhood such as World War II hero Audie Murphy, Colonel William B. Travis of the Alamo, and his favorite hero, Superman. He told me once, “I think Superman is like Jesus because he came to earth to save people who needed help. That’s what I want to do with my life.” All those hero stories were cultivating in him a heart of faith.

Do your children have any specific heroes they identify with? Do you? If not, consider going on a hero-hunt—maybe together!

Storyformed Podcast Episode #29 - Using Stories to Enhance Summer Experiences

Do you want to travel more with your kids, but realize this may not be a likely reality in your near future? Or maybe you are traveling soon and want to enhance your experience through reading books about the place or culture. Today on the podcast, Holly Packiam and Jaime Showmaker share about their summer plans and give book recommendations to aid you in transporting you and your kids to other countries, the beach, woodlands and many other places and locations. 

Topics include:

• The value in taking advantage of more space in summer to read
• Ways to travel to nearby or faraway places through books
• How to create summer booklists with your kids
• Book recommendations 

To listen to the podcast and to view shownotes, click HERE.

Which of These Options Will You Choose When It Comes to Parenting?

“Fear not, for you will not be put to shame;
And do not feel humiliated, for you will not be disgraced …”

Isaiah 54:4

I have often pictured my home as a boat on the water, with Clay and I at the helm,  seeking faithfully to guide our children to a healthy life of righteousness. The true source of grace, wisdom, beauty, health, and goodness in our family amidst the storms--the way we made it through--was totally the Lord, as we based our lives on scripture and walking with Him in faith. The secret is Him.

Yet the storm has always raged for us, just as it does for you. What are some hindrances to walking by faith as a parent?

Fear

When we walk by fear, we say, "What if I am not a good enough parent? What if my children give in to cultural storms? What if we do not have enough money to make it? I am just not adequate to this task." We tend to look at the storm around us and find it threatening, so we become discouraged. When Simon looked at the face of Jesus, he could walk on the water, but when he looked at the storm, he began to drown. Hundreds of times in scripture the impossible-sounding command is given: "Fear not!" If you are living in fear, the life of God will be squeezed out. We cannot live by fear in parenting, or we will fail to show our children the reality of God.

Formula

A parent who is dependent on Formula thinks, "If I spank this way, or follow these rules, or use this curriculum or find the right formula, then I will be able to raise a perfect child." This kind of parenting depends on works. This reliance on works is dependent on getting everything right, and can also be a little fear-based: certain kinds of music, dress, bad influences, tv, movies, people--life--will tempt my kids, so if I prohibit all of these things and hold fast to my rules, then my kids will be safe.

Of course, being wise about some of these influences is important. But our children have been born into a dark world. We cannot keep them from all that might harm them out there by using control, rules, laws, and formulas. God is still God, even in this time in history. Formulas will disappoint, because they neglect the heart as one of the most important factors of life. Following law will never equal the redeeming power of God and no matter how you search, you will not find the right formula--If God had wanted us to follow a formula, He would have made it easy and given us one.

Flesh

We tend to depend on ourselves and put lots of effort into forcing our world to be more controlled. This temptation causes us to think things like ... "If I just get up earlier, have more quiet times, control my kids more, make all organic meals, be a perfect mom, train them more consistently, provide the best friends, then I will have better children." The flesh depends on the advice and input of man, media, and experts, as well as always seeking to work harder and putting more effort into parenting.

Now of course, again, parenting is hard work. But when our focus is on trying to help God by exerting great amounts of energy, then eventually, we will come up against our own limitations and want to throw our hands up into the air and give up. "I can't do this. I am exhausted. I am failing. You have asked me to do more than I can possibly do."

And of course, that won't be true.

What's the alternative to these three failing "F's" of parenting?

Faith.

Since we know that God's will is good and acceptable and perfect, then we know He has not asked us to do more than we are able to do. It seems God used life to bring me to the end of myself--three out of four clinically asthmatic kids, seventeen moves, mental health issues, church splits, fire in our home, car accidents, etc. There was just no way I could do it all or be perfect.

But, God wanted me to walk by faith in Him. Every day I learned to give to Him my fish and loaves: "Lord, I know I am not perfect, I cannot provide all my children need. But I am giving you my best, my heart---here are my fish and loaves. Please, would You make it enough?" No child is the same. No family puzzles are the same. God, our devoted and ever-present Father, wants us to come to Him, to ask Him to work, to ask His grace to fill our homes, to ask Him who has access to the brains of our children, to draw them to himself.

Miracles happen where God is the One we depend on to work. We acknowledge we are not adequate, but He is. We release our problems and sadness, limitations and fears into His hands and leave them there, and then move to an attitude of worship. We do what He leads us to do and live within our own limitations every day. Whatever we do not get done, we put it back into His file, knowing we can have a go again tomorrow. He is the source of supernatural life, and He wants us to walk this parenting path by faith, just as we walk every other path.

He is the Way.

Do you tend to lean naturally toward fear, formula, or the flesh as you work through parenting issues? How might you begin today to walk more by faith?

The Lifegiving Parent Experience: A 10-Week Journey of Parenting for Life

By Sally Clarkson, Clay Clarkson

The Lifegiving Parent: Giving Your Child a Life Worth Living for Christ

By Sally Clarkson, Clay Clarkson

Cultivating Character & Shaping Imagination LGP Clay & Sally Clarkson

But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, That shines brighter and brighter until the full day. 

Proverbs 4:18

We began telling our children about God's path of life from a very early age. We wanted them to envision their life as a path through a forest. Though they could not see God, they could imagine a path He has provided for us because He is good, and he wants to help us find a good life, and find Him. The abstract concepts of God, goodness, and life became more concrete for our children when we expressed them in an image that was familiar to them because they had walked on forest paths. They knew about the safety of the path, the weeds of temptation along it, and the reality of becoming lost in the forest around it.

God's goodness is the source and foundation of your child's developing character. As they learn to value that goodness, their character will begin to be shaped by it; when they receive Christ and His Spirit, they will continue to walk in it. But telling your child the abstract truth that "God is good" is not enough. They need images that will clothe that abstract idea with concrete words that will give them meaning. They need a well-formed imagination to "see" the truths of God about their lives. That's what C.S. Lewis meant when he said that "reason is the natural organ of truth; but imagination is the organ of meaning."

You may not have thought about it before, but character and imagination are symbiotic. Your child needs both to become a well-rounded person. In these last two or the eight heartbeats of parental lifegiving that we've been discussing, look for the connections. Here are two brief excerpts from those heartbeat chapters:

From "Cultivating Your Child's Character"

"At its most basic level, cultivating character is influencing your child's heart, or inner person, to value and desire the goodness of God--everything about Him that is aesthetically good (all that is beautiful and praiseworthy) and ethically good (all that is beneficial and true). Metaphorically, it means your children, with your lifegiving assistance, are setting the moral compass of their hearts by God's goodness, the spiritual equivalent of true north."

From "Forming Your Child's Imagination"

"Most Christian parents do not fear imagination, but neither do they especially respect its power in children's lives. It's easy to wrongly assign it to the category of pleasant childhood diversions that will pass in time as their children grow into young adulthood. But children's developing imaginations need to be properly fed in order to grown into mature imaginations that can anchor the deepest, most meaningful concepts in Scripture. A faith that in uninformed or uninspired by the images, metaphors, symbols, and stories of God's Word is in danger of becoming unimaginative and unanchored, weakened by an overreliance on reason, adrift on a shallow sea of facts and propositions."

Hope you enjoyed the podcasts. Let us hear from you, We always love getting input. Thanks for the emails, comments and messages! We love hearing from you. 

The Lifegiving Parent: Giving Your Child a Life Worth Living for Christ

By Sally Clarkson, Clay Clarkson

The Lifegiving Parent Experience: A 10-Week Journey of Parenting for Life

By Sally Clarkson, Clay Clarkson

The Treasure Chest of Your Soul

"Make your ear attentive to wisdom, Incline your heart to understanding; for if you cry for discernment, lift up your voice for understanding; If you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures; Then you will discern the fear of the Lord and discover the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom ; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk in integrity." Proverbs 2:2-7

Bone chilling fog wafted through the mysterious, ancient cobblestone streets as I made my way to school each morning in Krakow, Poland. Mists wrapped around the gray stone walls of the aged city, whispering of the hidden secrets of kings and queens who resided there through hundreds of years.

Living there during the Communist occupation meant that we could not buy much food. Meat was scarce and fresh fruit and vegetables were rare and brought into small, open-air markets only in season. But always, we could find beautifully carved wooden boxes of every size, shape and style.

Hoping that some day I would have my own cottage to fill with beauty and color, I would scan the hundreds of choices to find a distinctly crafted box that might someday find a place in my imagined future home. I was particularly drawn to the treasure chests that had keys to lock away precious letters, secrets, journals, or jewels.

Years later, when my home became a reality and little feet pattered around, my treasure chests became favorite relics in my home. Often, I would hide a verse scribbled on a piece of colored paper, some chocolate gold-covered coins, a tiny ring, bracelet, knight in shining armor, or small puzzle inside these boxes for my children to discover. Glee and intrigue would fill their hopeful little eyes as they opened the chest to see what was inside.

During a quiet time one morning, my eyes lighted upon one of my little chests and the Holy Spirit impressed me to look at the heart of my children as treasures chests. Filling the treasure chests of their hearts with truth, beauty, love, great thoughts, books and ideas, adventures, memories, traditions, wisdom, music, art, lessons, and all the good things I could imagine became a purposeful goal. I realized that I wanted to fill them with such an abundance of relics of eternal value, that they would draw beauty, strength, guidance, assurance, courage, and love from those deposits for the rest of their lives.

I also realized, though, that I could not give to them what I did not myself possess. If I wanted the souls of my children to be rich, then my soul needed to be rich because it was my soul they would draw from. And so the idea of intentionality began to engage the imagination of my heart.

Whatever I filled my mind with, whatever I learned and embraced, became the tutor of their education, as I lived my moments in their presence. Investing time every morning with the Lord was so important as what I learned in those moments became the passion I passed on each morning over breakfast.

What treasures are you tucking into your own heart today, so you can pass goodness on to your children?

Mirror Mirror

“That’s not really how I look and sound,” he frowned.

My oldest son pressed the “play” button, viewing again the video of himself that he and his brothers had recently made. I watched as he studied himself with wonder, fascinated at the face staring back at him from the screen, unsure if he liked the voice that was coming out of the mouth that looked like his.

“Actually, it is,” I said. “That’s exactly how you look and sound.”

He cocked his head and smiled. “Really?” he asked. “I’m surprised! I guess I thought I look and sound different because I only know myself from inside myself. I needed my video to see me right!”

He giggled as he ran off to find his brothers, content with his newfound identity.

I smiled and returned to my book. It had been several months since I began it and I was still less than a quarter through the massive tome, but some friends were reading Kristin Lavransdatter, and I wanted to finish reading it with them. The candle flickered on the table beside me as I returned to 14th Century Norway, struggling to remember the unfamiliar names, but intrigued by the Medieval setting and the story of young Kristin.

I recalled a discussion about the book I had with those friends some months earlier. One friend had remarked how she hated Kristin, appalled by her depravity and foolishness. Others, who were much further along in the story than I was, heartily agreed. I had kept silent. At the time, I was only a few chapters in and Kristin was a delightful child. I braced myself for the fall from grace I knew was coming by their admonitions of her behavior.

As I read on, though, I found myself unsettled.  I hated Kristin too, yes. But I was unnerved by the discovery of how much I actually understood her. I was startled to find that her thoughts were my thoughts, her feelings the same as my own.  

“She thought about her own heart, which fully understood what was right and wrong, and yet she had always yearned for what was not righteous.”

The words resonated deep within me. Our sins were different, of course, but the stubborn willfulness to continue in them and to justify our actions were identical. And I was aghast.

“Surely not,” I thought to myself, as I wept over the pain and anguish she caused her loved ones. My heart broke for those she had dishonored and betrayed, but also for Kristin too--for her obstinate insistence on her own way, in spite of the consequences. “It cannot be,” I whispered.

That’s not really how I look and sound.

To continue reading on storyformed.com, CLICK HERE.

How to Really Love Your Boys! With Nathan & A podcast

Nathan and me blowing away at Westminster Abbey in London!

Our children, especially boys, come to us in all sorts of shapes, sizes, issues, personalities and skill sets. I must confess that I struggled with all of my children in different ways at different times. But at some point, I finally had to realize that I needed to make peace with my precious children and the puzzle I was given to figure out with my own different ones, as all were quite unique. 

Looking at their hearts, seeking to understand their God-given personalities, giving myself a lifetime to become more mature and more wise, gave me the space I needed to figure out the puzzle of children I had been given. 

Nathan was in England for the wedding of a good friend this week and left room to visit me for several days. Both of us talked about how many emails, messages and letters we keep getting from people all over the world who have been encouraged and inspired by Different, the book we wrote together. Yet, our conversation together drifted to the subject of how all kids, especially boys, need some crucial pieces of support to ease into their roles as men. 

We recorded a podcast about how to love your boys in such a way that you can stay close, even through the teen years.  (And I think it all applies to girls, too! :). The stories we share are from our lives. It was fun for me to hear Nathan's perspective. 

Thanks for all the letters about our book Different. We are honored by your messages and pray God's grace for each of you as you go through your journey with your own boys. 

A Different Kind of Hero: A Guided Journey through the Bible’s Misfits

By Sally Clarkson, Joel Clarkson

Different: The Story of an Outside-the-Box Kid and the Mom Who Loved Him

By Sally Clarkson, Nathan Clarkson

Heartbeats 5 & 6: Lifegiving Parent Podcast with Clay and Sally

Saturday night, out for dinner and a stroll....

As I watched Great Britain's royal wedding, I was drawn into a story that was both familiar and distant. The world of royalty and celebrity rarely touches the simple life of a ministry couple out for dinner in Oxford (that would be us). And yet, as I listened to Harry and Meghan exchange vows I was struck by the common tradition of Christian marriage we share with the new couple. All believing couples stand on the same ground, beginning a life together with the same commitment expressed in two simple couplets: "Do you" and "I do." They are words of faith and will.

What does that have to do with parenting, you may be asking? It just seemed so timely and serendipitous to me how those couplets parallel the two heartbeats of parental lifegiving that Sally and I discuss in this week's podcast: strengthening your child's faith, and shaping your child's will. The vows of Christian marriage are a metaphor of the vows we are preparing our children to take with Jesus. "Do you take Me to be your Lord" is a matter of faith, believing in what is being promised. "Yes, I do" is a matter of will, choosing to follow with all one's life.

As parents, we are in effect giving God's life to our children by helping them flesh out the words of the old hymn: "Trust and obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to truth and obey." Strengthening your child's faith and shaping your child's will is the path for them to finding their life in Christ, just as every marriage begins with belief and willingness. Let the short paragraphs below from the book prime your heart for this week's podcast.

From "Strengthening Your Child's Faith":

"God sees a valid and even vibrant faith in children of all ages--in your children! As lifegiving parents, make it your commitment to look for that faith in your children, acknowledging and affirming it whenever you can. It probably won't sound like adult faith, and that's as it should be. It's an innocent and seedling kind of faith that should be watered, cultivated, and tended. It's possible you'll be tempted to correct its immature or misdirected expressions or, perhaps worse, to just ignore it; but resist either urge. Instead, engage your children's faith and draw it out. Give them room to grow, and help give their faith even more expression. Since you'll be following Jesus' teachings on children, there should be no better way to bring the life of God into your home."

From "Shaping Your Child's Will":

"For a lifegiving parent, shaping your children's wills is about influencing their hearts to want to do the will of God. You don't shape your children's wills just so they'll be good decision makers; you shape their wills so they will be prepared to do God's will when it is clearly known and act on other biblical principles when it is not. It's never just an impersonal or logical process; it's about a personal and spiritual relationship with the Lord. That's why shaping your children's wills is a heartbeat of lifegiving parenting--you are connecting them with the living God."

The Lifegiving Parent: Giving Your Child a Life Worth Living for Christ

By Sally Clarkson, Clay Clarkson

The Lifegiving Parent Experience: A 10-Week Journey of Parenting for Life

By Sally Clarkson, Clay Clarkson

Fun With The English Language in the UK & Podcast with Joy & Joel

I love England, Scotland, Northern Ireland, Republic of Ireland, Wales--all that encompasses the United Kingdom. 

Love my friends all over the UK and Europe.

Love adventures of all sorts. 

Our family has a very strong heritage from places all over the UK and Europe. Our families originally came from these areas and we were missionaries in several different countries around. We love our friends here. Especially in regards to the UK. We Clarksons are passionate about literature, words, theology and messages. Books are our friends. Tea is a favorite habit of life. Walking long distances as a way of life is a preference. And I personally enjoy the history, architecture, and civility. We couldn't be more grateful for being able to live here. 

But, anyone who has moved to another culture knows that living in a new country always means adjustments, learning to understand the values and priorities of the people of that region, becoming familiar with the different foods. Finding the housing, banking, bill structures, driving and so much more to be a contrast to our own home countries, adjustments of every kind will create a steep learning curve. .

Yet, perhaps one of the most challenging issues is language. Though people in Oxford and all the cities where my children have lived here do speak English, there are many differences in the ways we use words and communicate with one another. We thought it would be fun to share some of the ones we have observed and experienced in our own lives. Often when we speak our "Americanese" people look closely at us to try to understand just what we said. Perhaps it is the accent but often it is the way we use words. 

Today, just a "wee" bit of fun to pass your way. 

Cheers, everyone!

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Two Benedictions: Joel and Joy with original music on the shores of bonnie St. Andrews. 

We are an artistic bunch: books, music, movies, scripts, cd's. Not a scientist in the crowd. Many of you who have followed J&J have written to ask me about the music we have shared on fb and other places so I thought I would go ahead and put the info here. Enjoy!

Hi friends! So excited to launch the lyric video to our newest song, 'Over and Over!' For those of you who don't know, we're making a new album, and are offering this version of the song as a...

Joy and Joel are making a beautiful new album and you can get a download of the first song by supporting them on Patreon! They want to make all their listeners part of the process as they write and record all their new songs, and they need your help. They have just released a lyric video for their first song, are offering this version of the song as a download exclusively through Patreon, so make sure to head over there and sign up to support them. By committing $5 per song, you’ll get full access to their Patreon portal for exclusive ‘living room session’ versions of all the song, plus videos that give a peek into their writing process together, interviews about life in Scotland, and live performances only available for subscribers to their Patreon page. Head over to their Patreon to sign up! Thanks friends!

You’ll love their music. I listen to it all the time and it fills my heart. But then, I am their mama.....!

To subscribe, go to: 

patreon.com/twobenedictions

I know you will enjoy hearing Joel's and Joy's newest song as Two Benedictions.