Do You Ever Feel Like a Child?

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Do you ever feel like a child? Caught in a world that is too big, too much? Not knowing for sure where you are going or what you are doing? A little mystified about the future or about your life circumstances? What in the world is going on? This large rocking chair seemed to fit these feelings at times.

I have to admit that I have felt that way often over the years. Like a little girl in a way too big a world to figure out.

Evidently, this is how many have felt throughout history—a little lost, confused, not sure of what is ahead or if we are strong enough, capable enough to know how to live the life we have been called to. Throughout scripture, we see that some of the most faithful heroes of faith, felt lost along the way.

Abraham is one of my heroes. There was no Jewish history to speak of before him. Abraham didn’t have anything to go on—he just had to have a heart for God the creator and a desire to please Him. God began to make a “people” through Abraham, and to write a story of His love and presence to His people through a nomadic man, that God would eventually call, “His friend.”

We read in Hebrews 11: 8:
”By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.”

Abraham was chosen for his willing heart—to follow God, even though he did not know where he was going. The key to his life was obedience—to go out, to follow God, even when he did not totally understand. And so, God wants us to learn to obey when he calls us to follow Him, even when we do not know where it will lead exactly.

And yet, this faithful man became the Father of the Nation, Israel.

He did not know where he was going, but he believed that God would be with him.

You may feel at times, that life is too much. That you do not know where you are going.

But wherever you go, God will be with you, and He is good, and he holds you faith as something precious in His hands.

Join me on my podcast today as I speak of faith and obedience, two key ideas for walking with God.

***Also, be sure to get your copy of Tea Time Discipleship and take advantage of the preorders by clicking here!

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Tea Time Tuesday: Cheers, My Friends!

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Tea Time Tuesday: Cheers, my friends!

If only you could come sit with me and sip a golden cup of tea. I would look at your eyes to see what I saw there. I would ask you questions about your needs, and hope to be of encouragement to you. We would talk about everything in the world, share thoughts and dreams, fears and failures, and give one another joy in time well-spent. If only! What would you want to talk about? I would love to know.

I must confess, instead of working late into the night to get this post up, I had one more cup of tea and thought about all the great ones who loved tea—C.S. Lewis, Tolkien, Tolstoy, Winnie the Pooh and Piglet, Jane Austen and so many more!

I wish you a few minutes of sheer peace and pleasure today. I hope you really enjoy my podcast: Oxford wonderings, Miss Read books, goat's cheese deliciousness, Celtic thoughts, and blessings for your life.

It is my hope that my new book, Tea Time Discipleship, brings you much joy. Be sure to get your copy today and let me know what you would love for me to talk about on Tea Time Tuesday—we shall have fun.

FOR MORE

  • Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

  • Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

  • Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

  • Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

  • Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more

Servant Leadership Opens Hearts

For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve.

Mark 10:45

The concept of servant leadership transformed my life, my philosophy of discipleship, my understanding of the cost of love. And once I gave into becoming a servant leader, every day, all the time, I was more content with the life I had and the people I served.

One coolish evening a couple of years ago, one of my sweet ones plopped down on our front porch rocker & sighed such a sigh, it sounded as though the whole world would end. 

As I looked in the face of my adult child, I saw weariness, discouragement, exhaustion. Amidst projects, financial demands, relationship issues, I knew that life had demanded more than usual, it had left this one's soul dry and weary. 

I slipped into the kitchen, got a cool drink, warm bread, strong English cheese, a bowl of soup and brought out a personal tray. I set it next to my depleted child. 

"How about a shoulder rub for just a few minutes?"

As I put pressure on the knots twisted up from stress, the drink and snacks were consumed. My child looked at me, breathing out the weariness, "I think you have influenced me more to love God by your great snacks and shoulder rubs than anything else you ever did!"

When God created the world, we were not just people of intellect, understanding, but people who had senses that made us feel the touch of a hand, the splendor and taste of a well-cooked meal, the soothing sounds of rain pattering down or music wafting through a room, the delight of purple mountains amidst fluffy clouds. We are multi-dimensional beings who are stronger, healthier when all of these differing needs are attended to. 

As we seek to influence the thinking, faith, love of our children, it will be as we do the work of serving, over & over again, of exercising thoughtful, kind deeds, thousands of times, one moment at a time.

Someone must do the work of life that results in pleasurable moments! When there are children involved, often the mama is the tireless servant, worker, leader.

Today’s podcast takes a biblical look at becoming a servant leader so that others might learn and experience Christ through our lives.

I Used To Get In Trouble

I was thinking today how thankful I now am to be me, the person I am in the inner world of my life. I have deep pleasure in thinking, creating, exploring, dancing, laughing, and living rich on the inside, where no one can see.

As a girl, I used to get in trouble in class for talking too much. Eventually, I just learned to keep my mouth shut. But I thought I had a lot to say if someone would just listen. When I was a little older, questioning my faith, the world, and ideas, I was told, “You ask too many questions. Can’t you just accept life as it is?”

But my brain was always busy thinking, pondering, imagining. I just didn’t fit the norm. I was a little “too much.”

Asking questions and challenging the norm was what led me to become a writer, speaker, an idealist, and an educator. I wanted an “authentic” life, real answers, to live into the amazing, spectacular, wonder of God’s world, to love people with all my heart, to push out the boundaries of life. I also wanted to encourage others in their ideals and thoughts about life.

Then I had Nathan. He also asked too many questions, lived life to the fullest, and got in trouble for talking too much. To this day, we might both be accused of talking too much, especially when we are together, discussing our ideals, our deepest questions, and our faith, and laughing too loudly, seeing life and people from a different perspective.

I like who he is, too. Now he writes books, produces movies, hosts a podcast, cooks great meals, sings, and treats me like a cherished friend. He never tells me I talk too much. He understands his mama because we are alike. He makes me feel understood.

If Jesus gave each of us distinct DNA, individual fingerprints, unique personalities, individual physical traits, He intended for us to be fully alive when we worked in cooperation with our uniqueness. Even as a red poppy is distinct from a yellow daffodil, and both have great beauty, shouldn’t we learn to value one another for our unique elegance?

Such freedom and grace comes when we learn to validate the rare, exclusive designs we have been imprinted with by God’s very imagination.

By the way—missing you today, my Nathan. And I like you a lot.

Tea Time Tuesday: The Pathway to Becoming Mature is to Accept Advice

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Tea Time Tuesday

Three years ago, I had moved into a new house, a new city (Oxford), and a new country! I put out a notice on Facebook that I would be hosting a women’s Bible study in my home and I would love for anyone to come. That first night, 15 women showed up. And so it began…

Now, these lovely, fun, vibrant women are my best friends in Oxford. Tonight we were meeting for a monthly dinner (though we meet every week in between for tea and coffee). We were sending one of our members off to the US where she and her husband will start a new job.

About 40 women have been through our study. Women from 7 countries, different ages, backgrounds, and life stories, but all of us knit together by hours and hours of time invested in one another. Some of my friends gathered for a photo, some were behind the scenes taking photos, laughing, telling us all how to smile, etc. We are now a community of close friends.

I have been leading such groups since I was 19—50 years ago. I have been one of the richest women in the world because of the sweet fellowship and deep friendships I have experienced.

This is what my new book, Teatime Discipleship, is all about: creating a place where people can become friends, grow in faith, and find support and encouragement. I hope you will be inspired by the stories I shared in my book. I hope you will begin a group and find out who might be hoping for just such a group.

Today, I asked a few of these friends if they would share with you why they come every week in the cold weather, in spite of busy schedules, jobs, and responsibilities. It was so sweet to hear their answers. I hope it will also encourage you.

This is a very rich week for Tea Time Tuesday—one of the best movies, great music, good food, a hero to be inspired by, some of Clay’s and my story, and so much more.

Be sure to grab your own copy of Teatime Discipleship, share with a friend and join me and women all over the world as we start a movement of gathering with excellent women.

Tell me about your group that you meet with, or how you might plan to start such a group.

Have a cup of tea, and enjoy a few minutes of peace.



Why Teatime Discipleship Matters

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Today I am on my couch, sick, feverish, shaking, aching, still coughing like a smoker. It comes and goes—mostly comes. This is my third week. Evidently, I am not an unusual case. Joy brought me chicken soup, Joel made tea and gave medicine. Sarah's littles made me cards. Life! More fun facts about tea time discipleship today on my podcast.

A cold snowy day, before I came back to Oxford, brought to mind a cherished memory. I just brewed a cup of tea for Sarah and me. We, in our jammies, crazy bed hair, made a forever memory. We sat close on a couch, drinking out of real china cups, talked, shared dreams, looked at articles together in a magazine we both loved, admired a book she found at a second-hand store, and felt totally at ease in the comfort of our safe, close friendship. Amidst sipping our hot liquid gold, with candles lit, she and I just talked, giggled uncontrollably, shared our thoughts and ideas for almost an hour. She took my computer and played a favorite song for me that meant something to her, that she had listened to at midnight the night before.

She shared her devotional book with me as I couldn't find mine. I relished in her inspiring reflections about a passage in Matthew that caught my heart. My 69-year-old self has learned to love the worlds of my children. These times have given me a window to their souls.

I do not expect them to conform to me—I let them be who they are at this season of life, I have adjusted my own age expectations to enjoy, delight in who they are at every stage. It has brought me much pleasure. But I had to give up a little of my selfish self to enter their world. And so did God, who became Jesus.

Through Tea Time Discipleship, repeated over many years, we became the deepest of friends. It is a tool, a holding place for creating relationships, a hopeful expectation that “Mama wants to spend time with me, we shall be friends.”

Tell me how you shared tea with someone last week. Many stories are coming in about how you took the challenge last week & served someone tea. I talk about it today on my podcast—fabulous ideas. Leave a comment about how you hope to serve someone tea this week. Just a cup today.

A Family Culture of Love

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 “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.”

~ I Peter 4:8

A cup of tea opens hearts for friendship to grow strong and deep.

When I say my children (and Clay) are my deepest, very best friends, I really mean it. Sarah and I have been meeting once a week for tea time, coffee time or whatever, once a week for over 20 years. She is my soul friend—and so are my other sweet ones. But it comes with intentionality, seeking to love well, using words of encouragement, seeking to understand. Take time for tea time with one of your precious ones this week. Rhythms build a family culture of love.

One of my boys commented after returning home for the holidays, “It is so great to be back in our family culture of love—no matter what conflict, difficulty, failure or attitude, I know I can come home to unconditional love. I have all of you here to support me, to accept me, to help me. What a grace to grow up in a family culture of unconditional love. I never knew how blessed our family was until I left home. We have so very much to celebrate together now that we are together again. I am so happy to be here to be able to restore.”

We were not a perfect family, we had conflict through seasons, but unchanging love was the holding foundation of our home culture.

All of us as families create a family culture of some kind. The traditions we keep, the meals we make, the routines we practice, the values we espouse and hold, the movies that are our favorites, the church we attend, the generosity we practice, the way we invest time, the company we keep—all of these come together to craft our particular family culture. We can also inadvertently create a family culture that is negative—a culture of anger, neglect, guilt, discord, disharmony, worldly values, and so on.

I have realized over many years that crafting a culture of love requires that I become the conductor of a loving, generous heart that leads all of my children to understand God's love. We model ourselves after the ultimate lover—Jesus. Toddlers to teens will question us along the way, but fervent love wins the day.

Lots of ideas on today’s Tea Time Tuesday podcast.


Tea Time Habit

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I had great plans for making today’s post and podcast a really fun and engaging post. Alas, I was up 5 times in the middle of the night with that familiar ache that accompanies flu. And so today, I will take the hottest bath, wrap up in warm blankets and nurse my chest cold and aches and pains—oh yes, maybe it’s time for a cup of tea.

A while back, I pondered creating a movement of women called, “Just One Cup” and then found out the URL was already taken. I had thought, wouldn’t it be great if women all over the world took just one cup of something delicious or hot to at least one person a week, to love them, encourage them, make time for them—and still I would love to see a movement like that happen—maybe at least 100 women taking me up on the idea. But today, I will off to bed and try to get over this wretched virus. But meanwhile, consider asking one beloved—a friend, neighbor, child, husband for a cup of tea or coffee break even if for 15 minutes and tell me about it.

Over time, my teatime habit became a foundational discipling tool for me. Taking time in the middle of a busy day to focus on a real live person and share our hearts over tea or coffee became a way of connecting with other women, with neighbors, and especially with my children—and even with my swirling, hurried self.

Eventually, I developed the practice of hosting people in my home for tea. To say, “You are welcome at my table. I have prepared for you. I would like to know you” was a way of inviting people into my life in a personal way. Teatime discipleship became a habit of stopping, looking someone in the eye, and making a space that says, “I care about you.” It was also an unthreatening way to begin getting to know them, asking them questions, and gaining access to their hearts. And it was an unparalleled way to build and nurture friendships.

Deep friendships and connected relationships happen best when intentional encouragement is planned and given on a regular basis.

Thanks for all of the wonderful encouragement and texts and messages this week. You all encourage me so much.


Try Not to Be So Hard On Yourself

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“If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit."

-Galatians 5:25

I wish I could say that now that my family is older, we are always mature. Yet, I am still an imperfect mama, personality differences still exist and cause occasional clashes, my children still struggle with their issues. I still want harmony all the time! Yet, my home still has tension between my ideals and reality.

I realized long ago that if I didn't cultivate happiness through each day, I would never be happy. If I waited until all of my family were more mature, I might be waiting until Jesus comes back. The reality of living in a fallen world means that I must adjust my expectations to a fallen world or I will always be disappointed.

As godly mothers, we strive to make the best possible decisions, set the perfect boundaries, and have the correct rules that we believe will somehow cultivate "spiritual" children. However, we can't by sheer force or the right rules or the right devotional curriculum make our children spiritual.

There is a mysterious process by which the Holy Spirit leads our children to see their need for Christ as we seek to cultivate their hearts. But it is entirely led by grace, informed by love, and carried out by the help of the Holy Spirit.

The grace of God is given in spite of our circumstances, His peace comes when our difficulties would suggest otherwise. We walk in the power of the Holy Spirit and rest in His grace. This is the secret of seeing God's grace each day—living within our limitations with a heart of joy, knowing we are accepted by God, and expecting Him to fill in the cracks and make our faith work enough to raise healthy children.

God is my hope when I am out of control. He is my prayer-answerer when I am beyond my own strength. I live practicing joy because He is my audience and I want to rest in Him because He wants to be my adequacy.

And that is ultimately what I want my children to see—not my perfection, but my running to Him, living In His grace, loving Him in the midst of the muddles of life, so that they will know how to live when they are seeking to raise a family amidst the fallenness of their own lives and their own world.

I Believe in Pink & Darcy Dog

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”

-Audrey Hepburn

I have always loved this quote. But I might have started the quote with, “I believe in squishy grandchildren, the darlingest people there are. I believe in golden retrievers...” and so on. What are a “few” of your favorite things? (as Julie Andrews says!)

The grid through which we see life will determine how we behave in life. A long time ago, I realized that my children needed a happy mama. Since then, there have been many times when I've truly struggled to find joy in my days, but it has become a position of my heart to search for it.

Happiness is a choice that comes from a heart that desires to please God. Happiness is an attitude that, in the will, says, "This is the day the Lord has made! I will rejoice and be glad in it.”

More about this soon. :) Happy Friday