The Hero's Way: Leading Your Children to Their Destiny

A new wonderful book and Bible study!

Ever since my out-of-the-box, third child, Nathan, was a little boy, he had heroic dreams on his heart. Now at 24 years old, he is following God's destiny for him, using his gifts of acting in film to bring light to a world in need of heroes. Recently, he wrote a study on the aspects he has found important to leading the life of a hero, and below is Nathan's introduction to his study. 

I read my children hero tales--real people who lived faith, practiced developing integrity, learned a servant leadership as the way of making an impact in the world, and learning to be courageous. My boys, (and girls!) all cultivated dreams of how God would use them in the world. Now, all of them are living their stories to make an impact with their messages, compassion and desire to influence their world for Christ.

How are you cultivating heroes in your home?

The Blue Brigade: Mom and me!

From Nathan:

For as long as I can remember, I have dreamed of being a hero.

I would watch as the flashy superheroes would cross the screen, and imagine my self in their brightly colored suits rescuing the damsels in distress and saving the day.

I would spend hours outside swinging stick-swords fighting off imaginary the imaginary foes that threatened my castle-forts.

I would fashion capes out of any spare piece of fabric and run as fast as I could through my home just to see it wave in the wind for a glimpse of a feeling of what it would be like to fly.

I am now closing in on 25 years old, and STILL haven’t lost my desire to be a hero.

I might have given up on the hope of my superpowers arriving giving me super-strength,  and I might wear capes a little more seldom.

But I still have the longing to be a hero.

I still have the continued desire to use the powers I have been given for good, and to save the day.

I believe in my heart of hearts that every young man has a hero in his heart.

I believe every boy longs, and yearns to be a hero that stands for good and ultimately saves the day.

But if we begin to look around our world today, getting an objective view of our generation, it seems that my theory might not hold water.

In a brief glance at our current culture we see self destructive behavior from our young stars, we watch juvenile crime run ramped and an entire grouping of twenty-somethings living with the mantra of “Do what you like, do what feels good and don’t worry about anyone else”.

So could I be wrong in believing that we all were born with a desire for heroism?

I don’t think so. I truly believe, that our creator has placed in each of our hearts the desire to serve, love and save the world using the powers he has placed within us. But I think somewhere along the way, many of us forget that longing in the wake of not knowing how to actually carry out, and live the life of a hero.

Because of this, I have recently written a 10 day study-journal that goes through what I believe will are the basic essentials of living the life of a Hero.

I wrote this in hopes of inspiring, helping and guiding those who remember their desire to live a heroic life and want to begin taking the steps towards living one.

I believe we all have a hero written on our hearts, but it is our choice if we will listen to the story our creator has written for us and live it.

-Nathan Clarkson

In my book, you will find discussion questions, Bible heroes, challenges, and more. Your son will remember this little book and what it places into his heart the rest of his life! Build His vision of the hero inside of him today! Lead a Bible study with boys and start a small group!

Buy Here! ***You can find The Hero's Way by Nathan Clarkson on paperback or Kindle. 

Home Management for the Homeschooling Mom: And Child Friendly Chores!

"For God is not a God of disorder but of peace." 1 Corinthians 14:33

"Most of the Clarkson family members are not organizers by nature. Only Clay seems to have the gift of organization (which he often considers a curse since it seems to be regularly challenged). Everyone in the family, especially the girls, values orderly rooms and clean living areas and will work as needed to bring outward order to the immediate living environment so it is civilized and delightful, but that's where it often stops. Clay, on the other hand, is driven to create systems of organization, not just outwardly but inwardly as well. Whether it is the twenty-four hinged-lid crates for holiday decor (different color lids for different holidays), the organized and labeled pantry shelves (which never stay that way), the four drawers of family files with color-coded hanging files and dividers, or the organized garage, it is his burden to organize." -Educating the Wholehearted Child

The sun is up, you even made time for two cups of coffee (fully caffeinated), and you have your afternoon of homeschooling all planned out. Just when you were feeling inspired, your joy is interrupted by a cluttered home. Many of us mothers know this feeling all too well.

Our God is not a God of disorder, so it makes sense that as mothers, we would feel overwhelmed when our domain is becoming chaotic and unruly. It is crucial, especially while homeschooling, to create a peaceful atmosphere with as few distractions as possible so that we may focus on what is truly important (easier said than done, I know). Your home is your domain-it is the part of creation that God has uniquely designed and delegated to you to subdue and rule over, especially as a homeschooling mother. However, homes of disorder get in the way of our stewarding this very important place, and creates an environment of stress and anxiety.

Learning the basic principles of home management can save you time, energy, and keep you from becoming overwhelmed. It is crucial not only for your sanity, but for the well being and independence of your children, that you assign age appropriate chores and tasks so that they may contribute to the peace and order of the home you subdue.

Here is a short list of chores that your children can do around the house. For older children, define exactly what you mean by the chore ("The kitchen is clean when..."). For younger children, give them one or two specific tasks at a time ("Organize your toy closet").

-Make bed -Clean room -Set the table -Clear the table -Do the dishes -Clean the kitchen -Empty dishwasher -Fold/distribute laundry -Change bedding -Feed pets -Clean sink/mirrors -Scrub toilet -Straighten any room -Vacuum

Try not to stress on the overwhelming days when someone is sick, agitated, or uncooperative. Not every day will be flawless in the home, but remain encouraged so that you may continue to encourage the sweet ones around you. Be inspired today, and remember that when your home is under control, the resulting peace is a powerful testimony of God's living presence in your family.

Enjoy a special Mommy Minute video below from my sweet friend, Angela Perritt, on something new she wants to implement with her girls in the home.

http://youtu.be/3UBuXT4zdQU

Loving Consistently: A Habit That Changes Hearts

“For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.” Psalm 103:14

April was abloom with tiny buds beginning to burst, daffodils pushing through the cold ground and all the promise of spring was pulsing through our home. Many years ago, on a Saturday before Easter found my girls and me, working together, preparing our traditional Easter feast. A dozen people would join us, so we bumped into each other, scurrying around the kitchen island, preparing sumptuous recipes that would feed a crowd. Joy, grasping for her own place in our kitchen as the youngest, had decided to make the special deviled eggs we had enjoyed as a family for many Easters. She had peeled 24 hard boiled eggs and then got a bright idea of how to make it easier, even though I had already explained to her the best way to fill the eggs.

She had good inclinations and she was attempting a new idea---(great attitude at the end of all of us working so hard), but her effort to stuff a flimsy, plastic sandwich bag with egg filling resulted in a mess everywhere–I have never seen so much egg yellow on the hands of any one individual! How in the world had she managed to fumble such an easy task, I thought, in my mama bad attitude irritation, neglecting how hard she had been trying. Of course, this situation struck at the end of a long afternoon of cooking and counseling another teen. My adrenalin was at an all-time low. She could surely sense how irritated I was.

The Lord poked my heart and suddenly gave me eyes to see this precious, young woman--my sweet little girl--in the throes of growing up. Insecurity and frustration flashed from her dark eyes as she watched me clean up her mess. Choosing how to respond and what I wanted to leave in her heart’s memory ran across my mind. After taking a couple of minutes to ponder what I was going to say, I took her to our den couch and gave her a cup of tea.

“Joyness,” (our nickname for her) “you have been so exceedingly helpful and thoughtful today. The table you set looks lovely; the groceries are all put away, and you have labored by my side for hours. I don’t know what I would do without your help. Many times I have baked bread and then burned it or grilled something outside that ends up tough as nails. Frustration temps me to rage inside sometimes, because I hate to waste time and ruin the food I have cooked. So, I know how you must feel when the bag kept breaking and the mess just poured out. I am so sorry if I offended you in any way. You are such a treasure to me and I know you were trying to do a good job. Thanks so much for all the ways you have helped me this week!”

Suddenly, a sheepish grin crossed her face. She climbed into my lap; long, gangly, teenage legs and all, and said, “I am so thankful that you always love me, mommy.” A kiss on the cheek … and she was gone.

Time and age has convinced me of my propensity to be selfish and immature. Consequently, my gratitude has grown immensely, knowing that I don’t have to perform for the Lord. He is mindful that I am but dust, and yet He still calls me His own special child. The amount of times He has had to bear with me, love me and give me grace has made me so much more apt to love and forgive and bear with my sweet, but immature children and husband and friends.

I know they will make mistakes and be selfish and sinful-- just like me!-- but I know that I can only please God and have peace in my own heart when I choose to love them back. And in practicing loving them, my own heart swells with more love, good thoughts and a generous heart.

This is how it works in my own life: Sometimes, I will have a critical thought toward Clay or the kids or a friend. If I foster the thought, it nurtures self-righteousness and resentment and anger. When I choose to look at the relationship with eyes of love, to take the thought or attitude captive, I can get perspective. This is a person dear to me, and we have history together. They have a personality that comes with many flaws as mine does. I am not primarily the focus of their lives, and they do not live to hurt my feelings!

I need to remember that love covers a multitude of sin. (Or I remember that this person is an immature toddler or exhausted baby or hormonal young woman or middle aged hormonal woman or somewhat immature, irrational, waiting-for-his-frontal-cortex-to-connect "teen" young man or a tired, worn-out husband who’s had too many days of work.) Then I remember how much I need grace in all of my own fragile times. I also remind myself that I will please my precious, patient Lord Jesus if I obediently act in love.

So, I cover the person with grace, say words of patience and kindness and then I am amazed that my feelings of love usually follow and the relationship improves rather than being broken. Good feelings often accompany obedience.

This is not a formula that always works--I am not looking for always having the right results--but it is a way of life, that practiced over many years, has turned my heart more towards loving, resting and accepting those valued relationships. In return, I find I am blessed in ample love that the Lord pours out into my heart. If I sow love, I will reap love. My love becomes a blessing to me in return.

We are all constantly confronted with a multitude of opportunities to choose to love or to choose to stir up strife. Loving on a consistent basis is a choice that becomes a habit and eventually changes our heart’s response. We all get frustrated sometimes with our children’s mistakes. The important thing is to correct our own bad reactions before we hurt their precious hearts!

Indeed, in the end, how we loved will be a measure of how we lived. May God give you grace today to love well and to walk on His pathway of love and grace.

***If you have the desire to go deeper today, take a few moments to complete the reflection and application below:

• “Love is patient, love it kind, it does not take into account a wrong suffered.” I Cor. 13: 4, 5 These words describe God, who tells us that He actually is love! Too often, it doesn’t describe me. Do patience and kindness come easily to you?

• “Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another.” James 5: 16 Is it hard for you to apologize to your children when you’re wrong?

• “Above all, love each other deeply, for love covers a multitude of sin.” I Peter 4:8 How can you remind yourself to think of your child’s feelings before you react to their childishness and sin?

Soul-killing legalism, Ensnaring liberalism--only Biblical wisdom brings life.

Sarah and Joel--Cambridge established 1209 ad

"Do not move the ancient boundary, Which your fathers have set. "

Sipping tea in the candlelight of the twilight of evening found me cherishing time with a dear friend who has had a godly influence on my life for many years. We were reflecting on the many ways we have observed more and more compromise in the lives of young Christians over the many decades of our lives. A weakening of the faith and of the faithful--too many stories of leaders compromising and Christians being yawningly boring, ineffectual and weak--it has become epic in our lives--and in the news.

“When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.” Genesis 3:6

Discernment is the ability to judge well between truth and vanity is reflected in the life of a mature believer. Discernment between good and evil and the willingness to obey whatever God requires is an evidence of one walking in the power of the Holy Spirit and following God's word. However, many do not even know what the word of God says anymore, so they follow online wisdom.

If a woman has time to spend on the internet but no time for prayer or the word of God, then she is not serious in her commitment to God, but she is serious in her commitment to facebook and blogs. As Jesus says, you can't serve two masters.

I am concerned about the extremes I see on the internet, and in life. Leaders in churches have questioned me on my teaching “conservative, old fashioned teaching about home and family and the training of children.”

God's word provides the wisdom, boundaries, and insight for each day of our lives. Boundaries and fences and hedges are established for the protection of a land or home, the definition of its realm and the measuring of it's place. When you remove fences and borders, all sorts of havoc reigns. Boundaries provide definition and security. Our culture calls out daily for the compromise and moving of boundaries in our lives. Without a depth of training in the Word, so many are caught up in the seemingly alluring messages—either to legalism and judgment or to compromise and compliance with less than Biblical ideals.

As I have said many times, in the absence of Biblical conviction, people go the way of culture.

When you don’t know what to think, you follow, like sheep, anyone whose voice is the loudest or most persuasive. Paul warned us that toward the end times, people would want to have their ears tickled with messages that pleased them. He said, “Nothing would be sacred.” II Tim 3

From the beginning, as with Eve, women have been seeking wisdom from another place, looking for answers to validate their whims and desires from the world. But even as it turned out disastrously for Eve, and all women who have followed lies throughout history, so it will be for women who listen, are allured by the voices of the world today. Do not be fooled!

To live a balanced life, between the false promises of a legalistic, behavior, rule-based life or the permissive, “it doesn’t matter---give yourself a break,” culture, we must be women who are seeking the heart of Jesus, the truth of scripture and the teachings of those who have lived a proven life.

Living in the tension of walking with freedom and holiness requires us to know our God, so that we can resist the voices that sway us one way or the other.

It would only make sense that the father of lies, Satan, would figure out a way to send out voices of confusion to distract and minimize the powerful message of Christ. But we must understand,  messages are not necessarily true because they are accompanied by numbers of people, followings or attractiveness of delivery. We are not to measure holiness by popularity or numbers, but by the Christ-centered messages that call us to love and serve Him more as the days to His coming draw nearer.

Even as stop signs and red lights keep us from having wrecks with oncoming cars, so scripture is a boundary, a fence that shows us best how to live, and it protects us from foolish consequences. It is also an instruction book that shows us wisdom, how to live well, how to forge the battlegrounds of our lives with grace.

And so the boundaries and call of scriptural obedience in our lives provides training grounds and secure foundations for living the life God called us to live.

Throughout history, boundaries and fences and hedges are established for the protection of a land or home, the definition of it's realm and the measuring of it's place. When you remove fences and borders, all sorts of havoc reigns. Boundaries provide definition and security.

The key to living wisely is to know God’s word, to hear His voice through His word speaking to your heart as you walk with Him and then to obey.

In the weeks ahead, I will be writing a new series on Wisdom. It will be in the form of a Bible study each week, so that together we can focus on foundations of what wisdom means, the role it must play in our lives, and how to walk in the ways of wisdom.

A mature woman must learn how to discern the truth of the voices on the web, in books, on facebook, because not all voices are true and as with Eve, even beautiful voices can, like Satan's, destroy and lead to death. And if you are young in the Lord, or in life experience, you should wait to write about your convictions until you know they are sound, tried and true so that you can lead those who read your words to Him and show them seasoned wisdom.

We are warned over and over again, not to follow the ways of the world or walk in their paths. I pray this series will guide, encourage, give wisdom and help you build your resources of wisdom as you walk with God with those precious ones God has given to you as a stewardship.

Fences and gates and walls provide for life within and protect from dangers without. (Cambridge, England)

“They mingled with the nations, And learned their practices,

And served their idols, Which became a snare to them.” Psalm 106:33-36

Mingling with the voices of culture, and excusing our sin or habits of compromise will become a snare in our own lives. But those who seek God and walk in His ways will be secure.

What about you? Do you see the foolishness of believers in a world that is longing to find us wise and helpful? What do you think are the issues, problems, idols that are causing such compromise or harshness in contrast to the good ways of our God?

Now is the time to follow Him!

For further study:

1. Proverbs 16:16

"How much better to get wisdom than gold, and good judgment than silver!"

Where do you look for advice and wisdom? Is it a reliable source? Do you know the reality of the lives of the people you are following? Are they seasoned, wise, have lived a story worth following? What areas do you need to find discernment in regarding your philosophy of life, motherhood, marriage? How are you making God's word a priority every day? Plan it in your week.

2.  James 1:5

"But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and [a]without reproach, and it will be given to him."

To hear God's voice requires time invested quietly with Him. How do you need to reorganize your priorities to make time each day to hear God's Word? What areas do you need to ask wisdom of God?

3. James 3:17 "But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere."

I especially love this verse. Pure. peace-loving, gentle, willing to yield--this is what the brother of Jesus said was a picture of wisdom. When we are trusting God, His fruit of wisdom will flow through the moments of our lives.

In what areas do you need to see wisdom grow? How are you growing in the qualities of wisdom mentioned above?

Make one area to focus on--to ask God to show you how to grow. I have really seen in my own life that when I read and ponder the character of Jesus, His ways, His love, His humility and the stories He told, it softens my heart and teaches me more how to live.

Bored, bored, bored! What to do? Tonight Join Sarah Mae and me!

"Bored! Bored! Bored!"

So, Sherlock Holmes said with his whole heart, as he pronounced how he felt about his mundane life!

(Made me laugh out loud! I like this man!)

Tonight is the last night all of us will be home together and what did we do? Watch a Sherlock Holmes.

I realize that not all of you are Sherlock fans, but with older children who love England, have lived there and love mysteries, Sherlock is a by-product. One of his recent episodes started out, "Bored! Bored! Bored!"

Tonight, Sarah Mae and I will be talking about just what to do when you are bored or feel like you will never live your dreams. Join us. Find out from her HERE what to do to join us--buy her book and share the evening.

All of us get restless. I can identify with Sherlock!Once in a while, this fog creeps upon me and makes me suddenly uproariously allergic to the mundane. It's as though I can't breathe! And I put my mind to thinking of escapes, adventures, fun things I can do to rest my spirit and to just have fun. You just can't live intensely and seriously all the time or you will explode!

So, I have been scheming  and designing a strategy for fun in my weeks ahead so that the work load and daily things don't overwhelm. And I would love to know, what is your favorite REAL thing to do when you get bored? It can't have facebook or reading online in the answer.

When my children were younger and I was about to explode, these are some of the things I would do:

1. Put them all in the car with a book on tape and take a ride into the mountains with a frozen yoghurt at the end of it.

2. Take everyone to a big bookstore like Barnes and Noble and get myself a cup of coffee--that only I sipped, while they explored.

3. Go to a local park and ask a family to meet us for a picnic lunch.

4. Go to Focus on the Family and let the kids explore while I just sat.

5. Find a French cafe for breakfast and ask a friend for time alone just for me. (Yes, I had to find someone to somehow stay with the kids, but I would trade with a friend at times and occasionally Clay could watch them for me on weekends.)

6. I keep a secret fund that I add to every month--like a savings account for Sally. And I have taken trips, bought something I wanted, gotten a massage, or gone to a movie all by myself!

7. I love outdoors, so I would take the kids to the national trails not to far from our home and hike and wear them out so they would take really long naps!

8. I love hot baths and salts in the bath and candles.

9. Ask Clay to plan to take the kids for a whole morning so I could sleep and stay in my jammies as long as I wanted and do whatever I wanted without any responsibility!

10. Clay married me when I had been adventuring all over Europe as a missionary. He has understood this from the beginning and even told me he knew it was in my blood and that we would save for it! I love planning places to go with my children and one other friend with her children. Even if it is to the museum an hour away, or a concert in the park, or a historical house nearby. I always kept places in mind. If the kids and I were ever about to explode in a day or every one was fussing. (lots of snowy days here!) I would just stop what we were doing, call this a field trip day, and jump in the car and get out---getting everyone out--often outside--sometimes quailed the nagging fussing little attitudes. Too many sinful people shut up in a house for too long can make for  very trying day--leaving home and deciding to play was a way we all made it. And still all of my kids have actually grown up and become responsible adults. I was just never afraid to have fun.

If I was bored in my home, I could be pretty sure they would also be bored. And so we worked hard and then when explosion was near, playing hard and having fun was much better than one more lecture or correction--and it made us all happier, too.

So, what do you do for fun when you are bored and about to explode!?

Find out what we do when we get lonely or bored!

Are you WITH your children actively or passively? No time to waste-they will fly away!

Saying goodbye to my sweet one at the airport.

"Mama, all I want to do is to be with you. Let's spend as much time together as possible," from Joy this holiday season, my always extraverted child who wanted to be going and doing when she was younger. But this holiday season, being together and being friends is what she longed for--the comfort of being with someone who knows you, validates you, loves you with all of your warts and takes time to listen.

Over and over again in the Gospels, we read that the disciples were "with" Jesus. Our Lord developed the hearts of his followers by spending time with them-instructing them, advising them, modeling right behavior. He spoke with them one-on-one and in small groups. He included them in his ministry and in his daily life. But what he almost never did with his disciples was to sign them up for activities and programs!

In contemporary society, we tend to value activity, and this is certainly true for most Christians I know. We don't want our children to miss out on anything. We take them to church on Sunday, to AWANA or some such Bible memory class,  and perhaps to a Sunday night meeting or youth meeting. We are on the go for God. We are busy doing may activities and going to this meeting and that seminar and one more lesson.

Church discipleship and meetings can be great. My own children benefitted greatly from Awana--but it was at home that they learned to believe the verses, to love the God they were studying, to take to heart what God was speaking because we were appealing to their heart through our daily love.

And I wonder how many minutes every day the average woman spends with her eyes glued on a screen, hoping someone else will have thought of her or validated her. I also wonder how many moments each day a mom looks into the eyes of her child to be present, to listen and to hear the unspoken hopes for a time alone with mom. How many opportunities do we miss to cultivate that friendship instead of just passing through the wasteland of busyness and distraction.

 All of the "going" in the world will not make us or our children spiritually deep and alive. It is only by coming to the living God and developing intimacy with him that we will really draw near in our hearts to Christ. What many in our culture don't understand, and many more forget, is that a relationship with Christ is best taught through a long-term personal relationship with someone who knows the Master, and reflects Him personally in all the moments of life--not through activities organized around lots of people in impersonal and distracting instructional situations.

Jesus didn't meet with his disciples once a week for Bible study and then say, "I'll see you next week!" or "I gave you your 15 minutes today."

He gave them his whole life. He lived with them, slept with them, traveled with them, and lived out a life of godly maturity before their eyes... In the same way, our children will learn righteousness best by seeing it lived out in every possible way in our lives, moment by moment, in the context of normal life. The first principle of reaching our children is that we have to make the time to be with them--so that when they grow up, they will want to be with us!

Desperate to Hopeful: You are always seen and always loved! A Giveaway!

Darkness enshrouded the room and an eyrie sweep of shadows danced on the ceiling as we felt our way to the heavy table. No light, only void filled the spaces ahead. There was no promise of what could be in front of us, just seeming emptiness prevailed as we inched our way towards the room where we were to celebrate life together.

No promise was evident. Quiet prevailed as we inched forward. Yet, one match ignited a lone candle and the shimmering light began to dispel the darkness that had been so formidable just seconds before.  From this candle, another was lit, and another, and before we knew it, light sparkled and wrapped itself around the darkest corners to uncover the treasures that lay before us that had been hidden from our eyes. Preparation had been planned and made in the light, and now treasures of color, evidence of the love with which our banquet had been prepared filled each space with the promise that light brings and the comfort that beauty speaks into our hearts.

And so it was, when the electricity had gone awry, we were left in the room, hoping to bring back the life of the prepared for celebration that our hostess had wrought. And so it was with our Christmas tradition at a friend's home this year.

So it is in our lives, we who walk in darkness need a great light to show us the way. Often, in my own life, the dark voices point their fingers:

At times, the burden of motherhood is heavy on our shoulders,  for so  many sweet mamas I talk to:

"I have failed. "

"I have disappointed."

" I can't go on."

"It doesn't even matter because all of my work is in vain."

"I don't feel love anymore."

"It doesn't matter. I don't matter."

Throughout the seasons of my life, there have been so many times--dark nights of my soul, when I truly was surrounded by so these dark thoughts and discouragement, I felt so alone, so helpless. Perhaps because I was taking on such high ideals, Biblical standards that were not popular at the time, alone, without those who had gone before, there was more spiritual battle, and with all you sweet mamas who are seeking to do your best.

Yet, I also see that scripture tells us that as we get closer to the time of Jesus coming back, times will be so much harder, each year, every decade, and so the darkness can at times seem formidable. Yet, you are not alone and there is  always hope!

"Nothing can separate you from God's love." Romans 8

"He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. He will bring justice to all who have been wronged."Isaiah 42:3

Jesus is the light-one--the one who sees the dark shadows that create the ache of loneliness that squeezes your heart so hard it hurts. He is familiar with your feeling that no one notices, that no one cares--that even God is disappointed in you and has somehow ceased to enlighten anymore. He sees and hears and has compassion. But, oh how He loves you and is on your side.

"Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!" Isaiah 49:15

He will never, ever forget you or give up on you!

THE KEY TO SURVIVING WITH GRACE AND LIVING IN HOPE IS COMMUNITY!

And yet, He desires that as he lights the tiny flame in our heart, that we join with others. As we combine our small light with theirs, to bring light into the life He has already prepared, the moments of generous blessing He has planned,  to show the treasures he has strewn along our paths, to manifest the plans, the pains he took to give us beauty on our journey.

"And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near." Hebrews 10: 25

From Genesis 1, we were made to have family---grandma's and granddads and uncles, aunts, cousins, brothers, sisters, friends, community. We were supposed to,

"Bear each other's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2

The wisest man who ever lived, Solomon, wrote, "Woe to the one who has no one to pick him up." Ecclesiastes 4:7, 

but he also goes on to say,

"A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken." Ecc. 4: 12

And so the defense that God designed so that we can have hope--is for us to have community, friends, people who understand, who will come along with us, wherever we are on the journey.

It has been a year since Sarah Mae and I released Desperate: Hope for the Mom who needs to Breathe.

We know that many of you find yourselves in this new year with feelings we have described above. We wrote this with you in mind because we know how you feel--we have been there many times.

Soooo, to celebrate our one year release, we thought we would each give away 8 books with the dvd's we made to one of you, so that you can start your own Desperate Group--gather some friends, or give the book to your friends and go through it on the phone, on facebook, across country, in your home, at a cafe. Just start your own inner circle, your own group of friends gathered around the same ideals, with support, with sympathy and the fun of growing friends together!

We want to encourage each and every one of you not to try to do motherhood alone. Isolation is the norm--and Satan is having a field day with us who are alone.

But there is strength in numbers--lets gather new friends, try a group one more time, focus on the hope that is in numbers.

It is why we host our Momheart conferences. (You can still join us! :)

It is why I write books! Blogs! I want you precious ones to know you have God's eye and blessing toward you and you are not alone!

So enter the rafflecopter to win 8 books for your friends and the dvd to go along with them for your group! Even if you have read the book, you can win and give them away!

Desperate is for those who love their children to the depths of their souls but who have also curled up under their covers, fighting back tears, and begging God for help. It's for those who have ever wondered what happened to all their ideals for what having children would be like. For those who have ever felt like all the "experts" have clearly never had a child like theirs. For those who have prayed for a mentor. For those who ever felt lost and alone in motherhood. a Rafflecopter giveaway

Soul Toes Tapping--Listen to the Angel music singing through your home

As Joy goes back to college tomorrow, I have been feeling sadness creeping slowly over my heart. "Girl's club" is what we call it when Sarah, Joy and I are together just to "be" and live moments together. It is a fellowship closely woven from years of loving each other. Sarah happened upon this brief piece in her journal of years ago, and it was another moment of us girls doing life and feeling the closeness of each other's love. It comforted me tonight to read it, knowing that these memories live as life-giving whispers of love that can't be separated by miles. I hope you find joy in this slice of life! In the warmth of people coming and going, laughing, fussing, playing, eating, there is a song of life humming through all the moments. I think the angels are singing and dancing at the joy bubbling up in little places unseen. How dear to see back into the heart of my child, 10 years ago, that the labor of love I will still be attending to this year, was a rhythm thrumming in her soul, unobserved by me. And so I give you the heart of my Sarah, 10 years later. (From her post at her beautiful blog, http://www.thoroughlyalive.com/)

By Sarah

I was rifling through old papers a few days ago and found a note I had written on Christmas Eve almost ten years before.

I recognized it at once and remembered how I had dashed upstairs in the middle of Christmas dinner prep to jot it down. At the time, my family lived in a rental home that often felt too small for the six of us, especially as we were all idealists with feathers badly ruffled by the last few years. I was in between jobs and decisions, my siblings were finishing high school and my parents were working through some tough ministry years. My family is a high stakes bunch, and by that I mean that we live to the zenith. Opinions, dreams, goals, loves, dislikes, we don’t really do things by halves. This makes for a vivid and highly entertaining life, but when confusion is a daily companion, and all the dreamers are uncertain, the high stakes feel perilous. Life was an adventure at that point, but not an easy one. Muscles of heart were formed in those days but they came with a great deal of ache.

How strange then that the words winking up at me from that old scrawled page held only joy. I sat on my floor, several years of old papers in disarray around me, but I was lost to the present.

Somehow, amidst the troubles of that almost forgotten year, I glimpsed the sort of holiness that hides in the everyday. The words of my younger self came to me as a command to stop, here, and now. To listen, to love. To perceive, even for an instant, the sacred as it peeks at us from kitchen feasts or children’s eyes. I think I’m going to go make a cup of tea.From Sarah's Journal, 2004

It is Christmas Eve and I stand in our woefully small kitchen, up to my elbows in salad dressing and green peas. Seven-layer salad with brown sugar ham; this has somehow become a family tradition since our sojourn in the South. This year the careful layering has fallen to me. I dot the green peas with bits of red pepper for Christmas color and smother it all in cheese. I am careful to cover each speck of green lest any one bite be bereft of its proper taste.

Absolute equality, in cooking and relationships, is something I have learned from my mother.

I sing as I work, for the old favorite album is trilling away and however trivial the saying may be, work does go faster with song.

Joy sings along on the nook couch, her swift, small hands in industrious flight through steel blue wool as she frantically knits a last minute gift for Matthew, one of the teenage “adopted boys” of our home. She is determined to finish his scarf before Christmas morning, but I see that her fingers are aching as she stands to measure the length of her work around her own neck.

“Do you think this is almost long enough?” she asks, with a slight dramatization of stooped shoulders, “it almost comes to my waist and you know Matthew’s a bit short, how much taller could he really be than me?”

She stretches her legs to their full ten-year-old little girl height. Mom merely raises an eyebrow and Joy sinks back in resignation to keep on at her Christmas mission. I watch her and work away myself, and wonder what the world would do without the many Christmas-hearted souls who make last minute surprises and knit not just physical, but spiritual gifts of well-kept traditions.

How easy it is to miss the beauty woven in the everyday. We three here in the kitchen are the makers of all that our family most loves at Christmas, the good food, the kisses, the gifts and well-set table. For an instant, I see that we are keepers of life’s richness. Year to year, the weavers of joy.

I glance at my mother behind me, her hands coated with flour and the dark specks of garlic and herbs she’s working into the soft dough of our Christmas Eve bread. My eyes are fixed on her hands; I love my mother’s hands. They are deft and sure, taut with a wordless capability that brings  order and  life to all they touch. Today it is the bread; last night it was my heart.

She gives the loaf its final twist and plops it onto the baking stone. She sighs in relief and I smile. That was the last of that batch; already a toppling pile of plump rolls and intricate knots of cinnamon bread sit on the stove for the morrow. Potato soup simmers in a pot and the ham bastes in the oven. My mother, I realize, is a marvel.

The goodwill of mothers is like the good will of God, I think. I am keenly aware of it’s lack in myself and can only conclude that it is a gift that comes with time or the giving of birth. My mother’s will towards us, her children, is so persistently, so relentlessly good; a will to bless, to delight, whether or not we deserve it.

There is no pressing reason that she should so expend herself today in fancy cooking and the wrapping of countless presents in colored paper. But for some reason, and by a special grace, she does. If she didn’t, I think the world might suddenly cease in kindness and lose its warmth. There are a million mothers behind the smiles and sanity of humankind.

I too have finished my work. The phone rings and Mom runs to answer it upstairs. I lean against the counter and rest my stiff knees. My stomach is groaning with hunger at the wondrous smells nearby, but I have promised myself not a bite until tonight. I close my eyes, I breathe. The scent of freshly cooked garlic and onion is heady stuff and I feel rather woozy in my rare, sweet quiet.

Or maybe I am dizzy with the life of it all.

Here, in this still moment, when my hands and head have stopped their spinning, I suddenly see the rest of the world in its joyous dance. There is music in our work, in the making of our feast and the decking  of tables and trees and persons. There’s a rhythm in the click of Joy’s needles and clack of our tongues, in our constant turn from job to job.

I can’t always hear this song, or feel this cadence when I rush and fret, but when I can stop for even a split moment like this, I always catch it, however faint. I suddenly realize that the toes of my soul are tapping to the rhythm of some eternal, daily song.

*****

Today, I think I’ve caught the tune of that song again. My soulish toes are tapping away.

Whole Heart AND YOU are on Our Hearts and Minds. Happiest and most blessed 2014!

 A HAPPY AND BLESSED NEW YEAR TO YOU AND YOUR SWEET FAMILY FROM ALL OF THE CLARKSONS!

Sweet Friends,

Clay and I started Whole Heart Ministires 20 years ago to train, inspire, and encourage parents to raise godly children. My blog is a part of my desire to reach out to women to encourage them in your roles. I would be so honored if you would read about our ministry and what we are up to, and consider donating to us to help us keep growing in desire to reach more families and to minister internationally. May God bless each of you!

Sally

 It's almost 2014: Email is a wonderful resource at this time of year for small ministries like Whole Heart. We are able to send a physical mailing to only a limited number of our friends and followers, but email allows us to reach the many more who would like to hear about our plans or support this ministry. Whether you pray for us, tell a friend about us, or become a financial partner in ministry with us, we just want you to know what God is doing at Whole Heart, and that we appreciate your friendship. Thank you for taking the time to hear the heartbeats of Whole Heart in the digital version of our year-end ministry letter. We're ready to faith ahead in 2014 wholeheartedly!

Dear Friends and Whole Heart Partners,

    Since the New Year is just around the calendar corner, let me just get right to the point of this letter: Thank you for being a Whole Heart Friend or Partner. In 2014, we will mark 20 years of ministry to Christian parents through Whole Heart Ministries. The simple truth is, we would not still be serving parents without the generous support of so many friends of this ministry through the years. Your financial contributions, prayers, encouragement, and help have kept us going.

    Since time is short until the end of 2013, we’ll keep this letter short. We know that you (like we) are considering many appealing appeals from other ministries for year-end donations. Most are from excellent and godly ministries that need and deserve your support. We are and always have been just a small family-run ministry, but we hope you will prayerfully consider us in your year-end giving plans.

    Here’s our appeal: We need your help to fulfill the mission and vision of Whole Heart Ministries. It’s not fancy, but it’s sincere. From day one nearly twenty years ago, our mission has never changed: To encourage and equip Christian parents to raise wholehearted children for Christ. Our greater vision has always been to help parents populate the next generation with godly children who will, as David said, “serve [God] with a whole heart and a willing mind” (1 Chronicles 28:9).

Pressing On with Faith and Whole Hearts

    Like the Apostle Paul, we “press on toward the goal” of fulfilling Christ’s call on our lives to strengthen families. Last year, we entered what we like to call Whole Heart 2.0—our second generation as a ministry. We are still in the process of re-programming our ministry so we can better reach and help a new generation of young families. We like to think of it as faithing forward.

    Our children, now grown, help us think about how to reach and speak to the real hearts and real needs of their new generation of young Christians. Many of them are skeptical of tradition-bound formulas and rules, and hungry for an authentic grace-based and faith-shaped model of biblical parenting. Below are a few of the new 2.0 ways we plan to reach out with that message in 2014.

• Video: We are exploring the power of online video, both short videos on our blogs, and longer webinars. We have had two successful video events, and are planning more.
• Audio: We will expand Sally’s speaking ministry as a spiritual encourager of women and a champion of biblical motherhood. We will repurpose dozens of old audio files, and make new ones.
• Ebooks: We’ve tried three ebooks now, including 10 Gifts of Wisdom which reached number nine in sales out of all of Kindle’s ebooks. Ebooks will be a priority in 2014.
• Blogging: Sally’s personal blog at ITakeJoy.com continues to reach tens of thousands of visitors each month. It provides a strategic and growing ministry platform to reach out to moms and families.
• Publishing: Clay is moving Whole Heart Press out of “old school” publishing and into the new publishing paradigm of ebooks and Print on Demand (POD) through Amazon. We'll offer more books and resources faster.
• Storyformed: Sarah will develop a fiction imprint for Whole Heart Press to promote story, imagination, and the power of books and reading. A Storyformed.com blog, reprints, and more are in the works.
• Apps: We’re just getting our feet wet in app development, but we hope to release the My Mom Heart app soon, and then look at other app concepts to help Christian parents.
• Events: We will continue our national hotel conferences for moms, and explore new regional and local event opportunities. Conferences are strategic times of personal ministry.
• Writing: Sally is writing a new inspirational book for Tyndale that will be out for the 2015 mom conferences. Clay is working on a refreshed version of Heartfelt Discipline for release in spring 2014.
• WholeHeart.org: The ministry website will soon get a full makeover, with new original and curated content for Christian parents, and a new store. Disciplinology.com will launch later in the spring.

With Faith, and with Your Partnership, We Will Press On

    Help us realize the full vision of Whole Heart 2.0. You can donate online at WholeHeart.org, send a donation via PayPal to admin@wholeheart.org, send a check by mail (must be postmarked Dec 31 to receive a 2013 receipt), or call our office at 888-488-4466 and donate by phone. All gifts to Whole Heart Ministries are tax-deductible and will be acknowledged with a receipt. Thank you for your partnership! Grace and peace to you and your family.

Wholehearted blessings in Christ,

Clay and Sally Clarkson

DONATE NOW! 

The "Donate Now" link above will take you directly to a PayPal donation screen. You don't need PayPal to make a donation. You can also visit our website at WholeHeart.org and make a donation there. Thank you for your support of Whole Heart Ministries.

Whole Heart Ministries Keeping Faith in the Family

WH Press — Christian books and resources WH Events — Conferences and seminars WH Online — Online and digital ministries Mom Heart — Christian motherhood initiative

P.O. Box 3445 | Monument, CO 80132 719.488.4466 | 888.488.4466 | 888.FAX-2WHM www.wholeheart.org | whm@wholeheart.org | admin@wholeheart.org

Find Us Online: www.WholeHeart.org — Whole Heart Online website for Christian parents www.ITakeJoy.com — Sally's personal blog for Christian women and mothers www.ThoroughlyAlive.com — Sarah's personal blog on life, faith, beauty, and art www.MomHeartConference.com — The Mom Heart Conference website

We Hope to See You at a Mom Heart Conference

If you haven't registered yet, you can find out everything you need to know and register online at MomHeartConference.com. Sally will speak this year on Inspired! ~ Reaching Beyond What Holds You Back. If you need to move ahead spiritually, relationally, and personally in your life, come and get inspired. 

• CO: January 24-25 — Denver Marriott South, Littleton, CO
• CA: February 7-8 — Irvine Marriott, Irvine, CA
• TX: February 21-22 — Dallas Marriott Las Colinas, Irving, TX

De-cluttering my soul: A New Year's Tradition 2014

My Home, Colorado Springs, (Monument is my town!)

Clutter drives me crazy--piles here, too many cards, papers, toys, gadgets, dishes out of place in the cupboard, messy car from all the traveling to and from activities, laundry, and the piles grow and have baby piles and I find myself overwhelmed from the sheer amount of things in my life. And so I de-clutter and throw away and clean out and sort so that there emerges some order in my life.

And so it also is with my soul. I gather piles in my soul--sin, bad attitudes, disappointment, busyness, guilt, tension, fear, hurriedness instead of peace---and in order to get back to a place of beauty, simplicity and rest, I have to de-clutter my own soul.

Many of you who have followed my blog for years, know that each January, I spend a couple of days in  to evaluate my life anew. And each year, I find a different puzzle--issues, pressures, commitments I have made that need to be cancelled. Every year for the past few years, I have pondered and written about de-cluttering my soul. I am pulling away for a few days, once again, to see what needs to stay and what needs to be cut. And so here for you today are some thoughts on what that looks like in a practical way. I hope you will be blessed as you read! 

I am putting two more children on the plane to go back home in the next couple of days.  In the next three months, I have 3 national mom's conferences that we will host, a book deadline, 3 blogs a week, and an international trip to train and inspire leaders in their personal life and ministry.  And my first wedding of my children. So, 2014promises to be as taxing as the years when I first wrote about the concept of de-cluttering our soul.  Every year is potentially overwhelming.

Yet, there is something uniquely good about January 1. It marks a new year, a new beginning, a new possibility. It also marks, for me, the reentry into simplicity. I don’t know if there is a more satisfying feeling for me during the year than when we put all of our Christmas things away, the decorations, the remnant of cookies, the clutter. We did that in my home, today. I love the celebration of life and the traditions and the fun and the beauty of special times spent with my children, husband and friends. But, there is something deeply satisfying to me about getting it all put away and getting back to normal.

Perhaps it is because my normal responsibilities of caring for my family’s needs demand so much of me—talking, talking, and then again talking to another child in the wee hours, cooking nutritious meals and holiday treats, organizing our schedules, cleaning and schedules blow to the wind on a daily basis, add to that ministry, (speaking, writing books and blogs in moments tucked around my family life)—these are enough, but holidays put on that extra load. Routines go by the wayside and so the clutter and demolishing of the house, slowly takes over.

I am not a person gifted in handling details—too much mail, too many catalogues, too many emails, too many options, too many things.

The more there is, the more I become responsible for, the more work there is to be done, and so, the more anxious I become.

Same with activities. The more I commit to, the more I say yes, the more I have to drive, the more my house gets into a mess, and the more anxious I become, the more hurried we feel, and the more weary I become. When I am not at peace, nothing in our home is at peace.

We can all see how too much clutter and too many piles causes us to feel overwhelmed with life.

Consequently, slowly, I have learned to declutter as often as I can—throw away unnecessary stuff.

Clay is really the master at this. He helps me get rid of things, organize things and put away things. Yesterday, he decluttered our pantry—threw away chip bags that held little but took up space, cleared out empty water bottles, bad, junky Christmas candy that had been given to us, but would never eaten; baskets that had fallen off of their nails, groceries that had never been put in their place. Now, if someone came into my pantry, they would mistakenly think that I am an organized person. (Thank goodness for Clay!) It made me feel good just to open the door and to see that all was manageable again.

But, I have also come to realize that my soul, heart and brain can be the same way---cluttered with worries, responsibilities, duties, children’s future, finances, time constraints, expectations, disappointments, critical attitudes, resentment.

All of these added together, can tend to create soul piles and mind clutter. If I don’t take the time to sort the piles of mind clutter, my spirit becomes a mess and my heart becomes overwhelmed and weary.

Lately, I have been feeling that I have used up all the space in my brain and I don't even have time to think about God.

It is what awakened me at 4:00 a.m. this morning-soul clutter and worry. It is another reason I like January. It gives me an opportunity to make a new plan, to simplify the mind messes and to start off a whole new year well. In the same way that throwing away stuff and clearing out closets brings me relief, even more,

soul and mind cleaning and decluttering brings me rest.

So, as I begin a new year, and head into my conference season, a very busy time for our family, I resolve to deal with my soul-clutter, so that I may have strength to face each day in peace. I come to the place where I know I will find the help that I need. I come to my Father and ask Him to help me, His child, to show me how to make get rid of the junk that is unnecessary, and to help me clean out and organize my soul.

He speaks to me gently.

It was in writing my  book, Dancing with My Father, that I have learned so much about finding joy--and peace.

When I wrote Desperate, I  sought to put my finger on those things that make me feel desperate, breathless, dark and deal with them.

In Him, with Him, by Him all the moments of my busy day. His voice leads me to what I long for--but I must get rid of all that causes me to fret, worry, criticize, control. There is a way....

“In quietness and rest shall be your strength.” Isaiah 30:15 You need to come to me and give me all those things that are weighing on your heart. Resolve to seek rest and peace.

“Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”                   Matthew 11:28-29

I listed all of my issues this morning in my journal (and there seem to be multitudes of clutter piles in my soul--worries, attitudes, bitterness, weariness, fear, sin and a few more!) These are issues that will suck me dry and my energy dry if I do not notice them in order to clean out my soul!

The Lord prompted, "List all of your issues, give them over to Me, don’t hold on to them. I am capable of taking them from you and being responsible so that you will not be weary or carry what you are not capable of carrying."

"Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him. “ Psalm 37:7

Focus on resting in Me—sit in My lap, so to speak, rest in My arms. Let Me carry you. I love you.. Wait for My timing. Don’t force things or beg Me to hurry up. I am in control.

“Be still (cease striving) and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

“Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother; Like a weaned child is my soul within me.” Psalm 131:2

Give Me your attention and get control of your spirit. Be quiet. Be still. Recognize My sovereignty and transcendence. Remember what Jesus said, “Our Father who art in heaven, holy is your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” Jesus modeled His understanding that My will is what you need to rest in. I am in heaven and I see all things—the future, the past, your children, your relationships, --all your clutter. Give them to Me. Quiet your soul and rest in My strength and power.

“Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one little child like this receives me.” Matthew 18:3-5

Come to Me as a child—even as your children, in their innocence and sweetness of heart, know that you will care for them and meet their needs because you are a loving parent who cares for them, so I am your Father who will take care of you. Leave the burdens to your Father and take your rightful place as a child. Humble yourself and trust Me. Enjoy Me. Delight in the beautiful moments of this day. Notice the little miracles. Live as an unfettered child. Accept your little and big children and receive them as a gift from Me, and you will indeed receive me into your midst.

“ ... a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” I Peter 3:4

“Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about so many things. But really one is needed and Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” Luke 10 41-42

Don’t worry and fret and stew and stir up unnecessary dust. Choose simplicity—just one thing I require—that you give it all to Me and love Me. I will take over. Even as I gave and provided a Sabbath in which all of my children should have rest from their work, so I want you to live in My Sabbath rest for your soul. Rest from your striving and labor. Take time for naps, for pleasure, for joy. This day you have to receive as a gift--I can't promise what tomorrow will hold. But today you can love, give peace, speak kind and wise words, dance in your soul with My secret pleasure that comes from knowing that I love you. Simplify your life, don’t make choices that will complicate or add unnecessary pressure or cause you to sin or grumble. “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life,” as Paul said.

So, as I yielded my lists into God’s hands and decluttered my troubled soul, I left feeling that even as my house has been coming to order, after we cleaned and straightened it yesterday, now my soul is moving in the direction of order.

Rest, rest, rest—in quietness and rest will be your strength every day, every year, until you see me face to face. I love you, my sweet girl. Don’t forget that I am with you each moment of today. Your doting and loving Father.

And so, my prayers and blessings and well wishes are with you and your loved ones as you begin a new year, filled with limitless possibilities of God's love, light, redemption and joy. 

Be blessed!