Now it is my story

Sarah, my oldest daughter, in her costume for the dramatical Easter production, The Thorne.

Memories bubble up tonight as I remember so many Easters that swelled the heart of Jesus's story again in my own thoughts and emotions--in Poland as a young missionary, marching around the ancient church 3 times and ringing bells; as a first time pregnant mom, waiting, waiting for my baby to come; in Vienna, the early days of our marriage while holding our babes in church and praying they would be silent during the church celebration.

But now, I see this most wonderful of days, the celebration of the resurrection of our Lord, the final declaration that for all time, Satan was defeated and we have the right to enter into the holy of holies,

and I am seeing it through the eyes and heart of my own children as they deeply embrace all that His story means to them.

Because I could not do better, I give you my sweet Sarah's thoughts, after all it is her story......

This is my story..........

The Lord is risen, he is risen indeed. May your hearts be full of joy and praise as you celebrate Easter with your precious ones.

Blessings and blessings to each of you.

Ministry of Motherhood Book Club and Giveaway!

Many of you who know me know that I delight in fellowship amongst like-minded women who help me keep accountable in my ideals as a believer, wife and mother. And yet, often, I find that many of the women I am closest to, often feel alone and isolated. It is difficult to find women of like-minded ideals in this post-modern culture.

That is why I am so very excited to introduce you to my lovely friends, Courtney  and Angela. I met them at the Relevant Conference last fall, and immediately fell in love with their concept of Good Morning Girls. They wanted to help encourage women to have more consistent quiet times and so they started a group called Good Morning Girls, where women can connect to each other each day to share what they have been learning.

This summer, they will also be connecting women in a book club studying my book, Ministry of Motherhood. What a great idea to use the more leisurely time in summer to fill your heart with new vision for your children.

I wrote Ministry of Motherhood to help women know how to develop a grid from which to view their children's lives every day, in order to purposefully disciple their children every minute of the day. When you have a plan for discipleship, you have direction to know better how to implement the influence that Jesus had with His disciples.

To join in this great idea, I will be giving two Ministry of Motherhood books away. If you want an opportunity to win, you must leave a comment on the Women Living Well blog. For an extra entry to win, leave a comment on my blog, too, about motherhood, why you want this book or what you are learning now, on my blog.

I hope many of you will join this great summer challenge. If you would like to participate and want to help support our ministry at the same time, you can order your book from: wholeheart.org.

Come Join This Summer Book Club!

Thank you Sally for letting me share with your readers about this exciting summer book club!!!

I’m Courtney from GoodMorningGirls.org.   Good Morning Girls are tech accountability groups.   But you do not have to be a part of our accountability groups to join this summer book club!   My partner Angela and I, have a fabulous plan that will encourage, inspire and challenge you as mothers all summer long.  Sally has generously shared her video series from The Ministry of Motherhood and this summer we will weekly unveil her videos for free on-line!

The Ministry of Motherhood Summer Book Club will begin on Monday, May 23rd and will run through August 5th!  Each Monday we will feature Sally’s videos.  Then on Wednesdays, we will feature different bloggers who will share what they learned from that weeks reading.  Then on Fridays, Angela and I will go through the discussion questions with you via youtube!

Let me introduce ourselves via video (Angela lives in Texas and I live in Ohio – so this is us skyping each other!):

Grab your copy of Sally’s The Ministry of Motherhood and click on over to GoodMorningGirls.org for more details. We hope to see you there!

Walk with the King! Courtney, WomenLivingWell

Boys will be boys, part 2

Finally home. I feel like I have run a long distance course and have crossed the finish line. What fun we have had speaking so so many precious moms in the past 4 months, but now I am going to try to get through the next month, and then I will take a deep breath.
4 Birthdays (Nathan, Clay--his 60th! Sarah and Joy and Joel's graduation from college in Boston and Joy's here in Monument from high school--whew--that is a lot of celebrating and cooking!)
So, today, I give you the last of my boy post and hope it will encourage you. Have a grand day!
Nathan and Joel--last summer posing for a "boy" shot, on a hike and family picnic!
Today is part 2 of Boys will be boys and you can read the last bit of the post on MOB Society's great blog.
A strong loving hand (acceptance and grace)
When I could see that Nathan's larger than life personality was becoming agitated, I would pull him aside, sit him on my lap, softly tickle his back and find out what was wrong. He loved to talk and when I heard what was going on in his mind, he would obey me, just for having listened. It took more time, but I came to understand this little darling boy and he responded to my patient love.
Both of my boys, Nathan and Joel, melted when I looked at them through a grid of love and chose to respond to the boys that God had made them to be. I sought to understand both boys and to find ways to communicate love to them and acceptance of their unique personalities. Joel loved affection and back rubs and I could really teach him a lot and influence him a lot if I rubbed his back--lots of little boys respond to touch.
Nathan wanted to talk and talk and talk and when I was available to listen or to play, he always became more obedient.
When I understood that in Nathan's and Joel's hearts, that they  were not out to thwart me, and that both boys  were often in his own little worlds, and with "add" Nate was not even able to respond to my strong demands, I could be more patient--and when I was patient and consistent in my training of them, they were willing to respond to me. They really always loved their "mama" so much and had a heart to please me because they knew I was on their team.
I invested words of love, admiration, encouragement and validation of their "boyish" feats, and both of my boys seemed to melt in my hands.

A strong gentle hand (kindness and gentleness)

I noticed that when I was treated my boys in a gentle way, with respect and spoke directly to them, at eye level, and touched their little backs or shoulders, they were much more attentive.
I chose not to discipline them in front of others but took them aside and sometimes just made them sit still by themselves or with me if they chose not to control their behavior.
"A gentle answer turns away wrath," from Proverbs became the pattern for my speech to my boys. Treating them with gentleness and patience created a desire in them to become civil with me. I was firm and consistent, but honored their desire for kindness.
A strong patient hand (understanding and longsuffering)
Learning not to react to the noise of my boys, but to understand the "glory of man" and need to show off at times, made me a cheerleader for them, and gave me the right to speak into their lives.
Giving them time to mature took years of patience and practice of self-control for me. I learned to try to see into their hearts and motivations from a boy's point of view before I used harsh words and became frustrated. Even as men want to be respected, so I learned to respect them as little boys who would grow into fine, strong men, and they responded.
I learned that if I trained them before a situation, (This is the place we need to use our quiet voices. Mommy wants you to be really strong inside today, because we are taking you to a big boy place,) then they were much more likely to behave.
I always took them a little bag of their own, to help them to learn to be quiet and self-controlled. Their bags had legos, paper airplane sheets, puzzle books, colored pencils, car books, etc. and when I planned to take care of their felt needs, they learned early to behave and to control their behavior.

That boy needs a strong hand--boys will be boys!

Nathan and me hiking last summer. He is wonderful and loves the Lord and loves me! He is writing a book, working, acting in Hollywood when something great comes along and on his way to making a message to his generation.
I just love all the wonderful articles I am finding on blogs. I love the blog of some sweet friends of mine that is dedicated to helping moms raise godly boys. They asked me to write a guest blog for them and I tried to do so last night in Canada without the right computer or settings. I love what they are doing. Wonderful, beautiful and a great place for encouragement.  Here is part of the article and you can find the rest on their  blog: http://www.themobsociety.com/ (Mothers of boys)
“That boy needs a strong hand.”
When Clay and I moved from California to Texas, I was to take all of my young children from Los Angeles to Dallas by myself. Flying with 3 children alone on several flights for a period of 11 hours, is not ever easy. But with two boys under 5 years of age, it seemed especially long. My now 22 year old son, Nathan, was a very active, extraverted, little boy. At 18 months, he did not have to pay for a ticket if he sat with me. However, getting him to sit on my lap through all of the flights proved to be more than I had even imagined.
Just as he was about to fall asleep, I would have to board the plane. Being awakened in such a sleepy state did not go well for him. Then, again, finally just as he was finally falling asleep after wrestling with him for the whole flight, we landed and started the whole disrupting his sleepiness cycle again.
Finally, we all arrived in Dallas, exhausted, disheveled and totally drained. My mother-in-law picked us up at the airport and suggested we stop by a restaurant before we drove the 2 hours to her house.
Nathan had had all he could take! When we sat down in the restaurant, he laid on the floor and started flailing his arms and screaming and kicking. No one could get near him.
I was frantic and left him on the floor yelling while my mother-in-law stayed with him, and I walked a little bit away from him, pretending to look at some pies in a showcase, so that I could calm down and take a breath away from this little boy that had drained all of my emotional energy and reserve.
An old man was standing next to the counter, looking at Nathan, as everyone else was also doing,  and commented, "My goodness, what a walleyed fit! That little boy needs a strong hand!"

That wizened old man at the pastry counter was right. Nathan did need a strong hand. But not just the kind he meant. Nathan was exhausted, pushed, out of his nap cycle and with his strong personality, all he knew to do to tell us of his limits had been reached, was to fall on the floor and sob.

As I grew older with my loud and active boy, I got wiser. I realized that the more I understood Clay as a man--His need for my respect, for me to be content and thankful for what he provided; that he longed for me to accept his limitations and to love him for who he was, then I grew in my understanding of how to treat my own "men in training"--with respect, affirmation, investing words of life and giving affection.
I gave Nathan, and Joel,  the strong hand that they needed to grow up, without feeling guilty or shamed for who and how God had made him. I gave him a strong hand that would make him stronger as a boy, a young man, and eventually as a man.

Seems silly to say, but boys are not girls. They are as mysterious as men, because they are men. But moms are girls, and sometimes that can be a problem. Most boys (not all, but most) will be more active, louder, noisier, less attentive or sensitive, slower to pick up cues, sometimes clueless and  just more “boysterous” than most girls. God designed them that way on purpose. Everything about them—physiology, biology, brain function, testosterone—prepares them for a different role and function in life than girls. But by God’s design, they need to be affirmed in their design by their girl mothers. God has given you a “strong hand” in their lives by way of being their mother.

For the rest of the article, go here: http://www.themobsociety.com/

Just a little thought

Many years ago, I heard James Dobson speak about how moms used to have other moms right next door who hung the laundry outside their home and moms and grandmoms near by to talk with, share the children with, fellowship with and to have time together without having to go far away. He suggested that now we often place stress on our marriages because we want our husbands to make up for all of the needs that used to be met in local community.

God also meant for us to have community--to share the load, to use our gifts with each other so that we would not feel alone and isolated.

But how many women do you know that you can go to, who when you are with them, they make you want to love God more, fill your emotional cup up with hope, women who "get" you?

And so, we do need to cultivate and reach out and find those women who will help us to remain faithful, and to stay strong. And we need to be the kind of friend who gives hope, words of life and encouragement and unconditional love. It is an art of a civilized woman to extend the life and grace and beauty of Jesus to all who are in her wake, while filling up with the love of her friends that she has helped to create.

Off to speak to these precious women here. Have a lovely day.

If I have a friend with whom to share life, I will hold fast to my ideals

Pimen Nikitich Orlov 1845

In the past couple of weeks, I have met on a couple of different occasions with sweet women who have opened their hearts. Both, mature, loving, committed to ideals and holding fast to investing their lives in their children and marriage, but both experiencing such isolation and loneliness.

In our culture at this time in history, it is very easy to feel alone, especially when one feels called to focus her time and life on raising godly children, making a home that is the center of life and cultivating spirituality intentionally.

The pressures that come with 24 hour a day children in the home, the housework, the messes, the education of each child and the load of work associated with these ideals can deplete a woman constantly.

It is why Clay and I are seeking to develop small groups of women based around common ideals and why we are hoping to build a network of these women. We need time to laugh and love and have fun and share our deepest struggles and challenge each other to ideals--and to feel that someone in the world "gets" you, loves you and will pray for you.

My sweet friend, Andrea Birch, agreed to share a wonderful article about the need for friends, in light of these personal issues in our lives. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. You can find her at flourishingmother.blogspot.com

Today I was feeling lonely. So I emailed one of my good friends and asked her for some words of encouragement. She was quick to respond and let me know I was loved.

Yesterday I talked with a good friend who has a 6 week old. Earlier, she had texted me and said she felt like she was “underwater”. I knew she needed encouragement so I called her and we talked about trusting the Lord with our children and learning the “art of letting go”.

This past weekend I got to spend 3 nights and 3 days with two lovely bloggers turned real life friends Aimee and Laurel. We rented a cabin in the mountains of North Carolina and just talked and ate and slept and talked and talked some more. We stayed up until 1:30 am every night talking and laughing and even crying. I came back from the weekend refreshed with a renewed purpose in my mothering role.

Mothers need friendships in their lives to encourage, uplift, refresh, and battle the loneliness that can come with our role. Because our culture is one that can devalue the high calling of motherhood, it is hard to find that everyday encouragement in our role. Often times getting together with women incites a complaining fest about husbands or children. We are hard-pressed to find women who praise us and exhort our “job”. Often times when I am out with my five children, instead of words of encouragement, I get an exasperated “God bless you!” with a hint of “why would you ever have so many children?”

For these reasons, I have to be intentional and purposeful about building a support system and really “cultivating” relationships.

Webster’s dictionary describes the word “cultivate” as this:

“to promote or improve the growth of by labor and attention”, “to devote oneself to”, “to seek to promote or foster” and “to seek the acquaintance or friendship of”. All of these definitions are very clear. “Cultivate” is not a passive activity. It is one that takes work and attention and care.

God made me, personally, as someone who longs for deep connection. Not all of us feel that need so deeply. However, God did create us for intimate relationship. First and foremost with Him, and then with each other. To say, “I don’t need those kind of friendships in my life” is essentially saying, “I don’t want to be intimate in that way.” But God created us that way! Whether you “feel” it or not, God created humans to desire and have intimacy with Him and with each other.

The mothering role is so demanding. It is quite honestly, non-stop. That is why I am using the word “cultivate” when it comes to friendships. It is a gentler way of saying “ slow down, be intentional” about the relationships and people God has put in your life. Mothers sometimes forget that they themselves need to be filled up in order so their husbands and children can receive the overflow.

Mothers need a support system in their life to really help them live the abundant life. Sally has spoken many times about the support system she has intentionally put in place because she needed it help her be a better mother. Female friendships in our life honor Him because they help us encourage each other to be the mother and person the Lord would have us be.

It is so easy to get caught up in our daily lives that we forget other people that God has intentionally placed in our lives. In order for those relationships to thrive, we must spend time and energy on them. This means consciously thinking about how we can minister to them, pray for them, help them, and just be a friend to them.

There are different kinds of friendships in our lives. A good friend of mine told me “all mothers need a mentoring friendship in their life.” Someone who has the luxury and gift of encouraging and exhorting us, who has had the experience of being a mother longer than us, and whose children are a few years older than ours. If you are that mother, whom can you mentor? If you need that mentoring relationship, then whom in your community could you ask to mentor you? This could be as simple as just meeting with this mother on a regular basis to talk about issues you may have within your home, or just get encouragement as a mother and as a Christian. Look for that person who has the luxury of solely encouraging you.

There are also ministering friendships. Friends who you know God has placed in your life for you to devote much time and energy to ministering to. These friends probably wont “give” you much, but God has placed them in your life to help and encourage. All friendships are not give and take. There are some friendships where you must be the one to “give” the most. Don’t close yourself off to people who God may be calling you to minister to.

Then there are the friends in your life who also give and take. Friends who minister to you, and who you also minister to. I love these kinds of friendships! But they are few and far between. So when you find one of those friendships, do not take it for granted! They are God’s gift to you. I have three friends like this. I know that I can call on them no matter what and they will be there for me because they love me and care about me. If I need ministering to, they know this and will do whatever they can for me. And I will do the same for them. These relationships are so beautiful and need much cultivating.

Friendships with woman can be very complicated. They can enrich your lives, but they can also hurt you deeply. It is also important to carefully consider the impact emotionally draining and hurtful relationships have in your life. You may need to “weed” out these relationships instead of cultivating them. But, God may be calling you to minister to that kind of person. But then again, He may not. Seek Him on this.

How can you cultivate friendships?

1.Reaching out. Remember; cultivate means “to devote oneself to”. Ask the Lord to show you ways to cultivate a friendship with someone.

2. Listen. Be someone who listens, not just talks. Make sure you know you are available to listen. People are not mind readers. You must tell them.

3. Help. Ask the Lord ways in which you can show love in action to friends.

4. Pray. Pray for your friends. Tell them you are praying for them. Ask them how you can pray for them. Ask them to pray for you.

5. Encourage. Support and encourage them. Tell them they are doing a great job as a mother. Praise their efforts. A little bit goes a long way!

Love covers a multitude of sin,

Love is a perfect bond of unity. Jesus loves it when we fault on the side of forgiveness, unconditional love, giving of our selves as He did to us.

I do become weary when believers embarrass the name of Christ when they publicly criticize others. Let the one who is without sin cast the first stone.

May we cultivate more and more a heart with a grid that is loving, and sees people with compassion and come to them out of the humility of our own forgiven hearts---for all the ways He has born with us.

Have a blessed day. I am off to Canada--Red Deer-and I do love my Canadian friends.

I've been thinking and pondering how it all came about

Joel, Joy and me--just before the concert.

The past few days have been so meaningful to me as a mother. When I look back on my life as a young mom, I realize that I had such hopes and ideals, but no experience in raising children and had to rely totally on faith and wisdom that I gained from following the Lord.

I desired to write some of thoughts quickly before I am off to an Easter performance of my girls at church tonight. I want so to encourage those of you who are in the trenches. Your labor of love as a mother matters so much.

Before I went to Boston, I had been reading the new version that Clay just completed of Educating the Whole Hearted Child. It will be 384 pages, filled with gleanings from our family life over the past 28 years. For me, it was a sort of nostalgic review of my years as a mother. This book  has reminded me that our lives were so very intentional, not happenstance, but built on foundations of wisdom that the Lord opened up to us in scripture and through our times of pondering His ways for us as a family.

Yet, it was also built on faith and obedience in following what He was writing on our hearts.

Boston, on top of this, was a pinnacle for me as a mother. That giving up my life, my time, my hours and love was not only a sacrifice of love for Him, but was ultimately so very fulfilling. But seeing Joel thrive amongst his peers, his friends in his house, his church friends and at work, was so affirming to me personally, to know that my labor of love was not in vain.

How could I have known when I was rocking my sweet baby asleep, what potential lay in his soul? How could I have known that greatness and integrity was resting inside his very being, in this tiny baby when he was born?

And yet, I knew that God would have me be a steward of his life--to do my  best to train his soul to embrace godly character. I read constantly to him to challenge his mind. I exposed him to great artists and musicians. Stories of heroes and brave scenarios from the Bible filled every morning as we all sat squished together on a couch to read of the lives of people who had invested meaningfully in history, by the giving of their lives to God's kingdom purposes.

"I wonder what work God has created you for?" was a mantra. "God has a work for you to do in this world. He uses normal people who have willing hearts to bring Himself glory. All it takes is a willing heart, faith and hard work."

Some sweet friends were talking to me this week about how I cultivated these visions in Sarah as an author; Joel as a composer, Nathan as an actor and writer in Hollywood, and Joy as a young aspiring idealist. And how they have held fast to their faith.

It was years and years and years of hard work, day in day out, holding fast to my ideals, teaching about my Jesus; correcting, loving, talking, training, educating and then doing it over and over again.

It was seeking to look not at my own inadequacies, but asking God to be present and to work according to His strength and ways and depending on Him to fill in the cracks.

Discouragement, a normal part. Loneliness, a regular companion. Being overwhelmed and not feeling like I could go on, a common occurrence.

Yet, God led me to these ideals and I knew that to give up on my ideals would be to give up on God's calling on my life. And so love for Him, and sheer obedience led to a life of faithfulness. Not perfection, but faithfulness and stepping out in faith again and again.

Greatness of soul is wrought through many years of battling for the souls of our children and holding fast to ideals no matter what and no matter who criticizes.

It is not about the right curriculum, it is about basing life on God and His truth and then seeking it daily in all of the moments and celebrating this life together.

And so, being at that place of reaping is so very deeply satisfying. God was listening. God was at work. We were not perfect, but like Jacob, we held on and said, "I will not let go until you bless me."

Consequently, I can't even begin to describe what it was like last night to hear my son, Joel's, music performed by professionals in a concert hall in Boston. I had never heard his pieces. I saw a professional pianist, one skilled from many years of playing professionally, was shaking as he approached the piano to play Joel's piece. It was quite complex and very difficult to play and had 3 movements. The complexity and variation and harmonies and mood-filled innuendos and rich, colorful passages were honestly beyond my imagination. How could my child, my first son, my gentle, hard-working son have come out with such amazing music? I was literally amazed.

One of the professors who was in the crowd, cried out after one of the pieces, "Who wrote this piece? I think he should stand up!"

Joel quietly and humbly stood a little and waved his hand to the audience and all around cheered, yelled and clapped and sent out "Bravos!" It was an amazing moment to him, who was most surprised.

It was quite a compelling moment for me as a mother and will be etched in my mind.

Later the two profs were talking to Joel and exhorted him to stand up to the gifts and talent he had been given and to understand that people delighted in knowing about the artists who created such compositions, not just in listening to the music.

And all of this began, when a tiny little baby was placed into my arms and God said, "He is a gift from me. Teach him truth, love, righteousness, hard work, skill and teach him of me. It is a great work I have called you to accomplish."

And so living long enough, I have seen the faithfulness of God. May I depend on Him for the next 25 years and imagine in the power of His Holy spirit was He would have me follow Him into.

My heart is filled with praise and gratitude, that by His mercy and miraculous ways, He kept me going, kept me in His hands, kept working even when I could not see the end.

Joel and some of his friends on stage after the concert. Blessings and blessings of His grace to you, Joel. I love you!

Tonight in Boston, featuring the original music of Joel Clarkson!

Joel, 24, was chosen as one of three composers of the year from amongst his professors at Berklee School of Music.

Joy and I are here celebrating his life and accomplishments with him, amidst chattering, eating at a classic Italian Restaurant on the North side; piling all three of us in our hotel bed to chat, watch a movie and be friends. And I keep sneaking peaks at him, marveling that this is my son, he is so fine, so wonderful, so amazing and so thoughtful. (After all, I am his mother!)

Here is what they printed of Joel in the concert program:

Joel Clarkson was born in Vienna, Austria. Just like the great figures of musical history associated with his city of birth, Joel showed a strong affinity for music and harmony at a very young age. He spent his childhood in an artistically-bent home environment that exposed him to a wide range of musical influences, both from the classical repertoire, and from contemporary genres. He began participating in professional music and theatre at a young age, from a lead role in a seasonal production with the Texas Amphitheatre, to a spot with the Texas Boys Choir. Joel continued in his teenage years to self-instruct himself on multiple instruments, including the piano and guitar, and worked out that pursuit through various performance opportunities. In 2009, Joel enrolled at Berklee College of Music. Throughout his time at Berklee, Joel quickly gained favor, appearing on the Dean’s list numerous times, and in 2010 was the recipient of the Berklee Achievement Award. During his studies, Joel also released two full-length instrumental recordings of his original pieces.  In the Fall of 2010, he began a Composer Residency, working with students at Lexington High School. Joel is excited to prospectively graduate from Berklee in the Spring of 2011, with a degree in Composition.

You may hear a movement from one of the pieces being performed by placing your curser on the songs below. The second is a song from his second album. (Takes a while to load.)

Out of Silence, for Piano Trio

Walking In Knyghtwood

Can't wait for this evening with my precious son! So proud of him!

Words of Life shape hearts that believe

Austrian wax heart

“"If you wish to make an impact for one year, plant corn; if you wish to make an impact for a generation, plant a tree; if you wish to make an impact for eternity, educate a child." anon

Words have the ability to inspire or to depress; to make one happy and feel validated or to deplete and discourage. When we live with our children day after day, we either build an inheritance, a treasure chest of inspiration, confidence, validation or memories of anger, criticism, while storing up in their souls hostility, insecurity, bitterness.

There should be some words our children never, never hear. We should write down a commitment, a non-negotiable of things we will never say to our family. "I hate you." "You make me sick." "I wish you had never been born."

Words go deep into the soul and memory. But words can also build a legacy of faith, goodness, hope, confidence.

"I am so very blessed to have you as my child." "I adore you. You are so funny." (precious, wonderful, delightful, talented, intelligent, spiritual, clever, thoughtful)

Your words will have a great deal to do with whether your children believe in your God, your faith. Your words are many--make them arrows of life.

At my Dallas conference this year, a sweet friend, Kat, shared a wonderful, inspiring example of this concept. You will  love this article and love her blog, as she is an encouragement to so many. It is very practical and will give you great ideas about how to put good words into place. Enjoy!

You can find Kat  and her wonderful blog at: http://inspiredtoaction.com/

Do you wake up TO your kids or FOR your kids? I used to wake up grumpy. And bothered. And annoyed. And a whole lot of other synonyms for c-r-a-n-k-y.

Why? Because I was consistently yanked from my quiet, peaceful, cozy sleep by children dive bombing onto my bed and drilling me with questions:

"Mommy, mommy!!!!! Can I get some Cheerios?"

"Mommy, mommy!!!!! I need to go potty!!!"

"Mommy, mommy!!! She took my toy!!"

I woke up on the defensive every morning and I spent the first hour of the day just trying to get back to neutral ground. Somedays I never recovered and spent the entire day in grouchy-land.

I knew something had to change.

I decided it was time to stop waking up TO my kids and time to start waking up FOR them.

THE TRANSFORMATION So I began getting up BEFORE my kids. I spent time reading the word, worshipping and praying for my husband and children.

It transformed me and our home.

Taking that time to let God encourage me and envision me changed the outlook for my days. When my attitude changed, my children's attitudes changed.

Sometimes I'd even share with them the things I had prayed for them that morning.

To my 8 year old daughter: "Good morning precious! You know, this morning, I thanked God for your passion for His Word. I love how you  enjoy reading the Bible. You inspire me. This morning I prayed that you would always have a passion for His Truth."

To my 6 year old daughter: "Good morning lovely! You know, I'm so proud of you. Yesterday, I saw how you helped your brother and how you spent most of your afternoon trying to teach him to read. You have so much compassion. This morning I prayed that God would use your gift of compassion in amazing ways.

To my 3 year old boy: "Good morning, my little man!!! You look so big and strong today! This morning I prayed that you would be a super hero for Jesus!!! I prayed that He would use you to fight for those in need. I prayed that you would grow up to be a man of justice."

Now I don't always say things like that to them each morning, but that time with the Lord puts that perspective and vision in my heart for them.

When I woke up TO my children I started the day cranky.

When I woke up FOR my children I started the day cheering them on.

If you were my child, which version of me would you want?

HOW DO YOU WAKE UP? What kind of mom are you in the morning? What kind of mom do you think your kids want?

Even just 5 minutes of focusing on Jesus and praying for our kids can make a huge difference.

So let's make friends with our alarm clocks. Let's stop getting up TO our children and start getting up FOR them. Not sure what to pray for your kids? Here is a free prayer calendar that features a different prayer topic for each day of the month.

http://www.inspiredtoaction.com/wp-content/uploads/kat/I2A_Prayer_Calendar.pdf

TIME TO TAKE ACTION What time do you need to set your alarm clock for in order to wake up FOR your children?