The Many different seasons of a mother's life

Albert Bierstadt

I think that fall may be my favorite season (or spring!). I love the colors, the sunny, crisp days, the opportunity to begin drawing in and making homemade soups and breads and reading a great book and creating more beauty and life-giving friendship and fun with more people inside the walls of our home. (I also love autumn art!)

Even as there are seasons with variety and scope in our lives, so there are so many seasons to a mother's life. One day she loves her children and thinks they are the greatest gift God has given. Another day, she isn't sure she even likes them, but she is obedient and has to put one foot in front of the other just to keep going.

Recently, a young mom I know confessed that she sometimes has a hard time "feeling close" to her young children and being available to them emotionally because she is tired. Most women feel this fairly often. I know that as the tasks of motherhood need to be pursued every day with intention, or they will overcome the home, so life can feel tedious. There were many times throughout the years that I did not feel like giving or even feel close to my children. But, I would just put one foot in front of the other and seek to be loving and gracious and patient, even though I did not feel like it, and eventually, my joyful feelings would return.

It seemed to me, that I would read stories of families that seemed to be all together--studying Greek and Hebrew by age 5, perfectly neat house, home-cooked meals and all in order, with children who had perfect attitudes.

That was not my reality. Mine was a whirlwind of seasons--some were fresh seasons where I loved my children and they seemed to be growing and I enjoyed them and others were winter seasons of darkness and struggle and seemingly no real life or  growth in our home. But I learned that all homes have seasons and it is the faithfulness through all of the seasons that determines the outcomes.

Seasons of a Mother's Heart is the first book on Motherhood I ever wrote. I would learn different truths about God, about how to cope with the different demands and challenges of each season and write down what I learn and how God showed me to walk through the seasons by faith and with His wisdom. Topics addressed in the different seasons of my own life were coping with messes and learning to focus on relationships in the midst, dark seasons of depression, learning to live free of other people's rules and expectations, growing with my children through the seasons of babyhood, childhood, teenage years and beyond!

I wanted to write about this book today because it answers many of the questions I get in my emails from sweet moms and just can't seem to find time to answer.

A sweet friend, Erin,is hosting a book discussion of Seasons of a mother's heart.You will also love her blog and her encouraging writing at Homewiththeboys.net.  Find all the info about how you can join her book club discussions at: (http://homewiththeboys.net/seasons-of-a-mothers-heart-getting-started-connected/)

I know I love seeing what other moms are learning and thinking when reading a book. You will enjoy her blog and her musings about the book. In light of her book club, wholeheart will give away one book by Monday morning if you leave a comment telling me a little about season of life you are in right now. Or tell me your favorite chapter or topic that you have read in this book.

I have just gone through a season of winter with deaths and children leaving and medical and financial issues and weariness, but every time I go through difficult seasons, I know that spring is coming and I will see all sorts of growth and blessing springing up everywhere. I am so very encouraged already to see God's grace and blessings in my life. He is so good and He always leads me in His blessing, when I endure the seasons with His grace and waiting for Him to bring the life. He shows me the reasons for the seasons and has given me such deep fulfillment in my life as I have learned to trust His timing and live by HIs strength and grace.

May our precious Heavenly Father strengthen you today in whatever season you find yourself and may you hear the voice of His love and encouragement in the midst of it. I hope you will find His encouragement as you read Seasons of a Mother's Heart.

: You may order it here: http://www.wholeheart.org/store-2/#ecwid:category=1117022&mode=product&product=4605088

I am woman, hear me roar, kinda

So, Joy goes out to start the car in order to drive to her college class. The battery is dead.

"Mom, what do I do? Do you know how to charge a dead battery?"

"Let's not call Daddy and see if we can do it. He's at the office and I hate to  bother him."

Out comes my computer and we look up "charging a dead battery" on youtube.

Brought it out to the garage, and we both gingerly took different sides of the cables, as we have no idea what we are doing.

Turned on the video and followed directions and voila-the battery started and we felt empowered by our genius.

So, what have you conquered lately?

Accept the Invitation

When I set the table for Father's Day breakfast, or any other event of celebration in my home, I see myself as sort of a spirit of creativity. I choose the china I will use, bake the breads favorite to the person being celebrated and lay the table to be colorful, beautiful, and a proper celebration of the person being honored. I have put so much time, thought, work and attention to these celebrations over the years because of the deep love I hold in my heart for my beloved husband and children and friends. It is a physical expression of my love and delight in them.

I would be so disappointed if, after I planned such a meal or celebration and had done all of the work and put on the finishing touches, if no one ever came to the meal or sat down. I create the beauty to show my love and also to show a part of my own soul in crafting a place of warm fellowship and feasting. The pleasure of preparing it is not as much as the celebrating it with the ones I wanted to show my love--they are necessary to complete the celebration.

Yesterday, the Lord prepared a party for me.  I almost didn't go, because I had planned busy-ness and duties for the hours of my day. But, something deep inside spoke to me of His invitation, and so I put everything else aside and drove to the party where He was graciously waiting for me. I am so glad I showed up, as He had prepared so very much for me to enjoy. I would have missed out on so much, had I ignored the invitation.  His decor was exquisite, His design, breath-taking. I sat on His table and looked out over what He had crafted for me to enjoy.

The gentle music of wind whispering amongst the aspen trees, ruffling their glorious gold across the mountain side and the leaves shivering in rhythm of the life all around, the birds singing with all their hearts, nature crying out, filled my ears with delight and my soul with rest, comfort, assurance and awe that comes from such beautiful music.

I played amongst the trees, and drank in the sun. Pleasure abounded in my day as I a picnic-ed with Him on the side of a cliff,  gloried in my my sugar crisp apples, roasted pecans and strong organic English Cheddar--the tastes beyond compare. What a feast, deep therapy to my thirsty soul. An unforgettable memory made with my Father who had prepared so much.

My heart was joyful and I was hesitant to leave the party, but as I left, I realized, I felt His love so much more deeply than when I had awakened to face the responsibilities earlier that morning. Being at His party had changed everything.

As, so few people attended the grand event,  and my sweet friend, Denise and I celebrated almost by ourselves at His banquet table, I wondered where are all the others He invited? I hoped He was not disappointed since He had gone to so much trouble to prepare the celebration for our pleasure.

And now, my precious friend, Denise, and I, have this treasure of a secret memory shared with Him, my ourselves. I am so glad I said yes.

Have you rsvp's to your invitation yet? You will not regret it!

 

Small and Insignificant

Tonight I feel small in the scheme of things. The world seems so caught up in the impressive--who has the most numbers, who is the smartest, the most beautiful, the most successful.

What is the loudest voice? The most commanding person. Who is organized and on top of things and has it together? There are some who pretend to have all the answers and who are confident that their way is right.

I cannot compete with those people or with other's standards. Comparing myself to anyone else always brings me up short. I must live happily in my own skin.

A wise friend said, "Never compare yourself to others because you will either come up short and feel inadequate or you will think yourself greater and be filled with false pride."

So very true.

But when I look to His ways, and observe what He has made, and listen to the voice of creation, I see that He has made even the insignificant, a small vibrant red leaf, a thing of glory, beauty to behold, heavenly art in which my heart and soul is amazed. In His hands, the small becomes significant. And so I take hope.

Those who humble themselves will be exalted. The little boy with only 5 fish and loaves fed 5000. The idealistic youth defeated the giant. The poor widow with meager drops of oil,  fed the famous prophet Elijah.

And so, my comfort is not in who I am, or how well I am doing, or in what I accomplish. My strength is in the one who is strong. My miracles are dependent on the God who threw the stars and galaxies into place.

Whatever task is ahead of me, if He is the wisdom for that task, or the strength to complete it or the understanding to show the way, then I know I will find the miracle I need.

Always, this has been my success--He is adequate, I am dependent on Him. I am weak but He is strong.

He, the heavenly Father who created, provided, instructed, saved, redeemed and forgave, and is preparing a place in heaven for me--He is the one who is committed to my well being, He who began a good work will complete it.

And so in my smallness, I find rest, quiet, comfort. It is not my striving that will accomplish His will, but it is in trusting in His provision.

He whispers to me, "Be still and know that I am God."

I am quiet. I listen. I look at what He has made  in all the small corners of my world, and through these glorious works, I am aware of His glory and comforted by His adequacy and strength and I know that all will be well, because He is with me, and He is big enough.

 

I believe in angels! And a giveaway! (Trying to get it to show up!)

Today, after much gnashing of teeth and writhing on the ground, a wonderful mom from one of my Bible studies, came forward and helped me for two hours to get my blog up on networked blogs. I am trying this out to see if my posts will automatically go up on FB and on Twitter now and trying to see if you can put them on yours, too.

But I need your help. Please go to my side bar and sign up at "Follow this blog" so that I can see how it works and if people are able to connect. I want to reach the many sweet moms who have been writing me and telling me that they could not figure out how to do my posts or get them on their sites! Hopefully this will help.

If you sign up or connect it, just let me know in comments and you will be entered for a free book giveaway of your choice of the books listed on my sidebar. I will choose the winner on Tuesday morning. This is a sort of experiment, but I am grateful for you who have supported me and seen me through this whole blog.

 

I send my best wishes for a beautiful Sunday with your family and be sure to celebrate the vibrant outside color of the changing leaves if indeed your time zone is in autumn. To my other international friends,  I am planning some trips for the next year and would love to come your way. Let me know if any groups out there that are interested in doing some small international conferences. Of course we only do one or two international trips a year, but I love knowing who is dreaming of something like that.

Blessings of peace tonight--my heart is very full from a lovely, God-blessed day.

 

Now I know why I am not depressed! It's my coffee

Now I know why I am not depressed........

Since my early days in my 20's, when I fell in love with Austrian cappuccino's, I knew that it had to be somehow healthy for me. After all, I gleaned so much pleasure from my civilized cup of velvet coffee. Surely anything that came from a plant must be somehow organic and God made it good for my body.

Finally, I found an article that said that coffee kept women from having gall stones. Well, that was enough for me. At least 2 cups a day was the cure, and heaven knows I do not want gall stones.

How happy I was to read this most recent article that said that women who drink coffee are much less likely to be depressed. Well, maybe that is one of the underlying reasons I started a blog called itakejoy--it was helped by my predisposition to be positive because I drank coffee every day! Well, what do you know!

I like mine, at home, with just a dash of vanilla and natural sugar. What is your favorite?

Here's the rest of the story:

http://lifehacker.com/5844229/drinking-coffee-may-help-lower-the-risk-of-depression-in-women

Let me hear your opinion! And go have a nice cup of ......................?

My mama has lost everything dear and chosen not to be bitter

Larla, Gwen's mom, with Sarah, a couple of years ago

For the past two days, I have slept, eaten, been served and talked and talked to my sweet, kindred spirit friend, Gwen. In between as I sipped my tea in her living room, she would get her mom out of bed, bathe her, cook for her, dress her, undress her, feed her medicine, and all the other things a 96 year old needs to do, but cannot manage.

Throughout, I have heard a gentle, loving voice. "Hi, mama, you are dearly loved today."

"Sweet precious mama, are you hungry? You sure look pretty today."

Patient, kind, tenderhearted, for 10 years, as her sweet mom's brain has escaped into other regions beyond her grasp, at least most of the time.

Last night as we both put her to bed, there was a smile from ear to ear. "I love you, quietly slipped from her smiling mouth." Her crystal blue eyes sparkled as if she had secret delight, but we realized she was delighting in us laying with her and kissing her soft cheek.

"Gwennie, you are so amazingly patient and kind and content, even though now you have to stay here 24/7. How do you stay so joyful and content, knowing you have been in this place for 10 years," was my sincere question as I witnessed amazing strength and patience through out these days, as all of the days of the last years I have visited her.

"My mama has lost everything dear to her over the years. She saw my brothers die too early, she lost all of her relatives and friends one by one. She has seen tragedy. But through it all, she resisted bitterness and chose to be joyful and give love. And so, even the model of my 96 year old mom has spoken to my own heart. If she can do it, I have learned how. Every day she greets me with a smile and gentle soul. It is what she practiced and so it was easy for me to copy."

Home is about the life, not about the perfection

A few years ago, I was visiting a family and everything in the home--I should say, estate, was perfect. A garden without weeds, a home in perfect order, a meal with no mess. But the children were afraid to move, the environment seemed sterile, and there was something wrong. We all felt it and talked about it as we left. There seemed to be form without art.

A home is a place of life filled by a mother whose life is contagious because of her sparkle in the midst of messes, her laughter in the midst of duty, her song pervading the whole place--the music, feasts, art, joy of life..

‎"To build a home of ideals means a life of sacrifice. It means a lot of work, and it's never going to be over. These ideals don't come easily to anyone; they come through battle. It's an illusion to think that building a place of beauty ever happens naturally to anyone; it happens little by little ... through hard work ... when we cultivate our souls, our kids will have something to draw from .. the house with the life of God isn't a perfect house, it's a redeemed house! It's not a home without sin, or without messes or without spilled milk, but we redeem one more moment ... " Sally Clarkson

So, today, it is not about perfection, but about peace, hope, life, vision and love.

I heard Him call, come follow........

"Take my will and make it thine, It shall be no longer mine, Take my heart, it is thine own, it shall be thy royal throne, It shall be thy royal throne." Exhausted, drained, like the lady who touched Him and He said, "The strength went out of me," defined how I felt as I stumbled in out of the pelting rain, last night.

After 2 hours of driving the Kentucky back highways, after a weekend of speaking 10 hours to a sweet group of moms in a Tennessee lake house, I was spent. It wasn't just the weekend, or meeting with more surgeons, or finding an oral surgeon for Joy or working on Dolphin Tale with Nathan, or finding Sarah with a 103 temp and needing advice about a ruptured ear drum or hearing that a sweet friend had borrowed her car and had an accident and totaled the car and trying to figure out how to proceed, it was the cumulative weariness that just comes with some seasons of life. I think there are parts of me that are bone tired and soul weary from many years of being in the battle.

My heart, though, was swimming in hope and excitement and child-like anticipation,  because my borrowed car was headed to the small, hidden in a tiny town of Western Kentucky, home of my forever sister, friend, Gwen, where I knew that God lived.

Sleeping for 9 hours, (unheard of for me), I crept through the rooms and found her, candle lit, Bible in hand, cup of coffee steaming, with Gwen in her quiet time chair. "Curl up in my bed and I will pour you a cup of tea and we will be friends," she whispered, as she gently wrapped her blankets around my shoulders and puffed up the pillows where I had just laid my head.

And so, two friends, a beautiful little candlelit tray came to rest in my room, and life and beauty took place. I have many friends and thousands of sweet women in my life, but few who, when I am with them, I know I will find the palpable life of Him, glowing, living, stirring in our midst. But I always know I will find it here in Earlington, Kentucky, an old mining town, with sweet Gwennie.

After, journeying over bits of life, events, people, illnesses, deaths and heart sharing, we came to the most important subject.

"Why are we so blessed? What shaped our lives so that we have been able to live purposeful lives, we have seen dramatic answers to prayer, we have watched the life of God's spirit swirling amongst the events of our lives our whole lives. Why, in spite of the battles, do we see God's favor?"

And she showed me a poem she had written in her Bible many years ago,

"I heard Him call, "Come follow."

That was all.

My gold grew dim, my soul went after Him.

Who would not follow IF they heard Him call."

That was it. The secret. At an early age, we were both challenged to follow Him, to listen for His voice, to be His bondservant, to let Him show us the path, to live by faith, to believe in the power of prayer, to invest in His kingdom, to put aside the voices, the peer pressure of the world to conform, simply to follow Him.

Both of us have had to reject the voices of "Job's friends" in our lives, and the world's voices, and all of those voices who seemed to have "God's will in mind for us," and we could see, looking back, that holding fast to His voice, His way, His direction, as our pearl of great price, was the secret. Always, He is at the center. Always, His paths are the right paths.

And so, both of us, bow our hearts before Him, together, thanking Him for the miracle of the lives He has allowed us to live.

She has seen the death of all of her siblings, grandparents, many cousins, support systems dwindling, with her precious mama still loving and smiling.

As Clay and I followed His voice, he led us to leave overseas missions, to move back to America,  to raise 4 whole hearted children and to write about  parenting, mothering, discipling the next generation, to make radical decisions that most of our Christian friends and family did not understand.

For Gwen to follow God's voice, after 25 years of serving the Lord in Austria and Eastern Europe, He directed her to live a quiet life in a tiny town,  to move home to care for her elderly mom, day after day, for 10 years as her mother is now in her 97th year. But for both of us, to live in the comfort of knowing He has guided, He has been faithful, in the end, His ways have indeed been the pathway of blessing. And in reviewing His history of faithfulness, our hearts are refreshed in the company of each other.

Gwen and her mama, Larla, (as we call her)

And so we ponder, I wonder how God might direct us to serve Him, to follow Him, to hear His voice in the next 30 years? May we both be attentive, may we both hear, and expect His presence, and may we both obey and simply follow Him.

"Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise, Thou my inheritance, now and always; Thou and thou only first in my heart, High king of heaven, my treasure thou art."

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Today, I will be interviewed live on Blog Talk Radio by Dianna Waring, about creating life and beauty in a home. If you would like to join me, please go to: (and share it with all of your friends!) and I will be doing it at 3:00 central time for 30 minutes.

 

Hollywood is paying attention--Congratulations! Amazing!

Sweet friends, I am so grateful to be a part of families who are willing to show up, to go to lengths, to pay for the ability to send a message. I have been getting messages all last night about how shocked executives are at the results of the first day! I want to you so see a part of one of the letters I received:

Wow! Just received this gracious note from Alcon Entertainment (producers of Dolphin Tale and Blind Side) and just had to share it with you! Our voice, desires, impact, and influence is genuinely appreciated. Homeschoolers want Hollywood and production companies to know that if they make quality films like Dolphin Tale , we will show up in big groups on opening day when everyone else is in school or at work!  We pulled it off and it worked!

I want to extend a personal thanks to HSLDA, Classical Conversations, Clay and Sally Clarkson, Sherri Seligson and ALL the amazing field trip coordinators and other fabulous bloggers who got the word out and pulled their groups together!  Thank you to every homeschooler who participated!!

Here is the Alcon 'thank you' letter to all of YOU!!!

as well as:

And so there you have it! Because of you, at least for now, we have the eyes and ears of Hollywood. They are astounded at the fact that an innocent family, child oriented movie could actually tie for first at the box office.

I know all of you fight battles in so many arenas for light to come, but since so many of youth's values are shaped by the stories they see on screen, I want to thank you for attending. Having your children know that they were also a part of a group that supported something also goes deep into their souls to help them understand the value of a community of believers making a difference. May God bless each of you today and may you be strong in fighting the battles of faith--your labor of love and endurance is absolutely not in vain.

Grace, peace and love to you all!