A This and That Thursday

From my Sarah, who is today in Oxford:

I feel the need to tell the world that I am staying in Magdalene College (Lewis's college) and have a window seat that overlooks the garden and Addison's Walk. My first few days of writing are going to go very, very well.

Isn't God lovely?

A GREAT SALE JUST THIS WEEKEND!

My sweet friend, Sarah Mae, and co-author of my new book, Desperate, is having a great sale on her eBooks this weekend - they are all .99! Be sure to take advantage! Find all the eBooks and details HERE!

 

And finally, a sweet, sentimental blog from my sweet daughter, Joy, as she ponders life from leaving home in less than two weeks, and adjusting to all of the issues of her life:

 

Encouragement for the Faithful

 

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, 2 but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. 3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,      which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—     whatever they do prospers.

-Psalm 1:1-3

All my life, when I read passages like Psalm One, my heart jumps and says “Yes! That is what I want to be! Oh Lord! Help me be like that.” And it is what I want my life to look like. And so I try, and push, and fall, and then ask for God’s grace, and he picks me up again. And in my own little pathetic way, and with God’s incomprehensible way, I have endeavored to live a faithful life. The be the “blessed one”.
But being faithful can be tiring. Can’t you relate to that? Sometimes you wait and wait, and wonder, when will I be like  a tree planted by streams of living water? That’s sounds great! But I feel tired. If you are in that place today, my dear outside world, I just want to encourage you. It takes a long time to become a tree by living waters. It doesn’t happen overnight. Your faithfulness is worth so much. The little decisions of integrity you make are seen and valued by God. Each day that you turn your heart closer to God, you are putting down roots to be that strong tree. Hold fast and wait, for you will see the faithfulness of God.
For the rest go to Joynessthebrave
And have a lovely day!

Today, I am changing my world....

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” Anne Frank

As I have sat with my children this summer on the porch in rocking chairs, talking, sharing life, discipling from my quiet times, comforting, advising, and making a gazillion meals with literally a couple of hundred people in and out of our home in the past 3 months, I have realized again:

Any great accomplishment takes great effort, all of your energy, focussed time, sacrifice, hard work and then all of that all over again.

To develop a great soul, one must engage in  great effort and intentional  focus and immeasurable unselfish sacrifice of your whole being. Just because it is not easy, does not mean you are not doing it right.

Mothers are in warfare for the souls and yet our work will yield fruit for eternity.

So, today, I am very, very busy at the work of continuing to shape souls, and have little time for writing.

And yes, this soul shaping of the next generation of adults is God's way of using us to bring His kingdom to bear in this world, and as Anne says, we are improving the world by raising godly leaders.

Extending Grace in Relationships

 

Dear Lord, So far I've done all right. I haven't gossipped, haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm really glad about that.

But in a few minutes, God, I'm going to get out of bed. And from then on, I'm going to need a lot more help."

Ever felt like praying this prayer? I have! A candle, cup of tea and my Bible get me started off right. I've laid my burdens at Jesus' feet. I've read His words and they have ministered to my heart. I've worshiped Him. I have asked Him to change me, to help me grow, to bless my family and lead them. I'm sure it's going to be a wonderful day, and all is well with the world.

And then I get out of the chair.

And sometimes, it feels as if all is downhill from there!

Wouldn't motherhood, wifehood, even Christianity be much easier ... if there weren't any other people involved? But I suppose then we have the problem alluded to in that scene from It's a Wonderful Life, when the family's help says, "That (the noise happening upstairs) is why all children should be girls!" and then the elder Mrs. Bailey says, "But if they were all girls--oh, never mind!"

God loves relationships. He, Himself, exists as a relationship--Father, Son and Spirit, three in One--a mystery we can't wrap our minds around. We bear His image, and part of that is this need we have for relationships; to know and be known, to love well, to draw strength and learn from one another. Yet relationships are not easy. Sinful people, living together in a broken world, sometimes hurt one another. We misunderstand and are misunderstood. We struggle with pride and envy, greed and deceit. So do those around us--and our children are no exception.

We need God's grace.

"Giving the gift of grace to our children is actually a two-part process. First, we need to help our children receive grace. We do this both by extending grace to them and by teaching them about God's grace through salvation. After that, by our teaching and example, we must train our children to give grace to others in turn.

Jesus summed up this two-part process when He was asked to name the greatest commandment. He said we are first to love the Lord God with all our hearts (receiving grace) and then we are to love our neighbors as ourselves (giving grace). This commandment, therefore, sums up the first gift we can give to our children--the desire and ability to understand and receive the grace of God and to give it to the rest of the world.

Understanding the importance of the gift of grace has really helped me respond to the daily dilemmas and frustrations of life in a household of four children. As we go through our days, for instance, I try to be mindful that, to God, relationships are always a top priority. I try to think of ways I can model for my children the redemptive grace and love of Jesus--and also influence them to extend grace to others through their actions and their attitudes." ~ The Ministry of Motherhood

We will always be pressed by our relationships. My prayer is that they press us all closer to the heart of God, Who loves to extend His grace to us, and teaches us through His example to do the same.

As a man thinks, so is he.

"As a man thinks, so is he." Proverbs 23:7

Jesus tells us to worship him with our minds--to love Him with our minds. The ability to think Biblically is no small matter in a world that shouts to us with values that are worldly, lies about life, family, morality,  in thousands of ways every day.

And yet, I find that very few people, and especially young adults, know how to think Biblically. Followers abound--those who find it easier to just do what others tell them to do, without really thinking through scripture or pondering it for themselves. So often, I talk with people of all ages, in conferences, through email, and everywhere I go and yet, most people I know follow some philosophy because someone else told them to do so.

Most people live in the boxes made by other men--even Christian men.

But God desires us to seek Him, to ponder Him, to listen to His voice, to read His word, and to be so familiar with scripture that He has a vocabulary to use in our lives that comes straight from the Bible.

Children who learn from an early age to read the Word, to digest its truth, to ponder its meaning, to pray over it to God, become those who have the ability to discern God's ways and to live in the freedom of worshipping a God who will direct their ways.

Psalm 19 tells us,

The law of the Lord is  perfect, restoring the soul;

The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple.

 The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart;

The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes.

 The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever;

The judgments of the Lord are true; they are righteous altogether.

 They are more desirable than gold, yes, than much fine gold;

Sweeter also than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb.

 Moreover, by them Your servant is warned;

In keeping them there is great reward."

A person who owns and cherishes the word of God has advantages in His life. Wherever he goes, the Holy Spirit will counsel him, lead him, guide him and give comfort and perspective. The Bible is the vocabulary that the Holy Spirit uses to lead us in his ways.

If you do not teach your children to think Biblically and to love the word, no moralizing, no lecturing, no influence will work well, because it is not grounded in truth.

Many people have asked me, "How did you have the confidence to send your children to New York City, Boston, Hollywood, Oxford, and not worry that they would fall away from Christianity?"

Of course, all mamas should be concerned when they allow their children to venture far from home. Yet, I knew that each of them had been grounded in God's word. But even more, we had passed on to our children the ability to think Biblically, to defend their decisions, to filter their choices through the truth that had been laid up, as a foundation for thousands and thousands of days and moments in their lives.

One of my greatest pleasures and best memories and comforts from this summer has been having my children home with me, again, and seeing them talk of life, issues, convictions and to see them owning their own Biblical convictions in a world, where sadly, many Christians do not know how to think. 

So, remember,

"For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

It starts with a habit--before you do anything else, begin each day with the Word of God. Read the stories, memorize verses, psalms, Jesus' parables, Genesis as a foundation, the prophets as a picture of our world's issues today, Paul's admonitions, Proverbs' wisdom. Immerse your life, your moments, your home in the word of God. Your children will cherish what you cherish, and if you value the word, it will become a part of their whole being.

**************************************************************************************

There is a new book that a sweet friend of mine, Ruth Schwenk, and her husband have produced to help parents with their own desire to pass on scripture. It does what it says, helps parents to dig into scripture with their children. Clay and I highly recommend this book and know it will be a useful tool to many families who want to teach their own children how to cherish the Bible and how to think.

To find out more about this great tool, go to the website for information and how to order.

And meanwhile, spend some time today just reading and listening to His voice.

The Amalfi Coast, a new perspective and a Giveaway!

Ravello

Sequestered on the side of a cliff, is a jewel of a tiny town where flowers bloom profusely, meandering walkways and pathways zig-zag all over the hills and life runs at a slower pace.

Attending the wedding of the daughter of a sweet friend of mine gave my friend, Phyllis and me, an opportunity to visit this lovely place. In the midst of the rush and swirl and demands of a too busy life here in America, I was slowed down, and forced to see life from a different pace where people took time to talk together, stroll hand in hand and notice the beauty of the ocean views surrounding each corner of the old village.

One of my favorite finds was an artisan's shop where the beautiful Italian pottery that I had seen in shops in America was being designed and painted by an artist named Pascal.

As I entered his shop, I was surrounded by rainbows of color and exquisite pieces that he had designed and hand-painted himself. In a world of mass-production, I was struck by the beauty and value of a man giving his life to his art and crafting pieces of pottery that light up a table, that grace a corner of a kitchen with color and design.

Pascal holds up the plates I picked out to bring just a little taste of His lovely pieces to my dinner table.

His wonderful designs and dishes can be found on his site here where you can find all sorts of exquisite pieces for your table.

Since I was a young wife, I have regarded feasting at our table as a sacred time. Sharing of warm food, on a well-laid table, with crafted ambiance has been one of the ways I think Clay and I have most influenced our children over the years. I take great care in choosing centerpieces, colorful table cloths, always candles, and colorful dishes and cultivating recipes that delight our family.

I knew that bringing home something, crafted by a true artist, to my home table would remind me, as the town and my new friends had reminded me, to enjoy the art of life, and to revere and treasure our times of soul-sharing over meals.

I wanted to let you know about his wonderful shop and lovely offerings because even a small piece, a lovely platter, a salad bowl, a plate for cookies, becomes a cherished treasure in your home when it serves your family with memories of the cookies you always served on the special plate, the small bowls of steaming soup on a cold winter's night, or a favorite mug for hot chocolate.

Pascal and his lovely wife, extended a warm welcome to me and offered to give away a charming spoon rest, painted with the traditional lemon design that reflects Ravello,  for someone's stove top.

To enter to win, please leave a comment on my page of one of your favorite recipes or meal traditions. For extra entries, connect this giveaway to your facebook or twitter and leave me a comment to tell me what you have done! (Giveaway ends Monday.) I want many of my friends to have the opportunity to visit his lovely shop and see his designs online in case you want to bring a little of Italy right to your own table! (Ceramiche D'Arte)

They also have two lovely apartments that they rent out for holidays in this lovely town. You can see these here.

Oh how I hope I can take Clay with me back to this lovely town, to savor the beauty and to slow down our days once again.

Ciao!

Who Can Tell Us How to Mother Our Children?

 

I've had many opportunities to talk with sweet moms all over the world during my life. Often after giving a talk or hosting a conference, I'll be approached by a woman whose face tells me of her internal struggle even before she begins speaking. Though it's difficult to find the time, I always want to listen and extend a loving arm to these precious ladies who are trying so hard to do the right thing for their children.

One particular afternoon after a mom's tea, when most of the moms had departed to pick up their little ones from the nursery, I noticed one who had stayed behind. She obviously wanted our conversation to remain between us, but the confusion she poured out from her heart was a story I hear so often.

I feel so confused, and I'm desperately hoping you can help me," she said, diving right in as she sat down. "I'm a new Christian, and I didn't have a very good foundation in life--as a matter of fact, I was just left to myself to discover what I thought was true about life, morality, and values. I made a lot of mistakes and have a lot of emotional scars from the choices I made. I decided I didn't want my children to be scarred like I was, so I wanted to do a better job with them. I feel like I am starting this journey of motherhood already miles behind because I have nothing in my background that would show me the way to walk this journey.

Because I didn't have my own beliefs, I feel that now I am subject to whatever I hear. I will read one book and it says to discipline in a certain way. Though it feels harsh, I will try to practice these theories for awhile. Then I will hear a speaker or read another book that teaches the opposite but also sounds reasonable. I'm tempted to think I have ruined my children and think I need to go in yet another direction! How is a mom to know what to do?!"

Does this sound familiar to you?

If you didn't grow up in a home centered on Jesus, please know you're certainly not alone. There are many, many moms out there who find themselves in those shoes. In my own life, my relationship with Jesus truly began in earnest when I was in college. When my own children came into my life, I knew I wouldn't be able to rely on my past to tell me how to raise them. There was only one place to go to find out how to be a mom: God's Word.

As I discovered what it looked like to read God's word, pray about my child, my situation, I began to see that God had created me, and all women, with the ability to understand how to walk forward, one day at a time, in relationship with my children to provide them with what they needed.

As an author, I am limited in my wisdom and encouragement as all authors and speakers are human and subject to error. Yet, I wrote the Mission of Motherhood, not to give a formula or a set of rules for women to follow, but seeking to point them to seek God, to His word,  seeking to give a Biblical foundation of what God had in mind when HE created women to be moms who will teach the next generation about Him.  Ministry of Motherhood speaks of Jesus' plan for discipleship with principles that I followed from scripture with my own children. We have great freedom to live out God's design within the unique confines of our own personality and family story--and each will be a unique picture of His glory in our home.

Understanding Biblical foundations  and pondering His word give freedom to be yourself in your home, to live into your God-crafted role, and  to watch the Spirit of God shape your children's hearts for Him in your own way within your unique home.God's word gives honor to individuality and to the glory of walking with Him by faith.

In the absence of Biblical conviction, people will go the way of culture. And people who know better than to follow culture will usually try to find a list of rules to follow! The problem is, children don't read parenting books. And parenting books don't read your children! So no one else can tell you the best way to raise the child God has put in your house, with these issues, and these talents, in this season of your own life. God delights in whispering wisdom and understanding about your own family puzzle into your own heart.

The only one who can show you how to be a great mom is your Father. Will you ask Him, today?

When Life Gets Tough, Put On Lipstick & Podcast

Sometimes, we need to just stop life from invading every moment of our day and sapping us from energy and take the time to make a new plan. Rest, rest, rest. We all need to regularly rest to keep ourselves alive.

Recently, I asked my adult kids what they really thought mattered. Maybe you should ask yours:

This from nightly walk with the kids:

People---not things

Kindness not being right

True life virtue---not opinion or debate

Loving, redeeming, forgiving, extending grace...

Not judgment, criticism, self-righteousness, cynicism 

Living into His grace as a habit of living well with others...

Not striving to impress or earn love through works, accomplishment, status, fulfilling expectations,  influence,

Being intentional...not just frantically busy

Seeking Him, pondering Him, listening to Him.....

Not the approval of man or living by the rules of others or seeking to be popular but living happily within the limitations of life

Seeking the Kingdom and eternity.... not the kingdom or voices of the world

Honestly admitting a need, confessing a weakness or sin...

Not stuffing our insecurities and pretending to be perfect

Being humble and meek...not powerful and influential

Waiting for Him...not living in the flesh and striving

Living a life of worship...

Not living a life of self-fulfillment, but one focussed on meeting the needs of others

Being still and knowing He is God...not living a noisy, empty life

Loving well with words, actions, and setting an atmosphere of love and acceptance, not competition

These, my treasures, and another view from our nightly walk--irreplaceable.

When Life Gets Tough, put on Lipstick.

Celebrating the Beauty of Life and giving hope

"Amidst the ebb and flow of our lives as mothers, it is all to easy to get caught up in the serious side of our walk with God. We have so much to teach our children: moral standards, an understanding of God's character, Bible stories, manners--the list goes on and on. Yes, there is a battle for our children's souls. Yes, there is godly character we need to form in them. Yes, there is so much work to be done. But we have to realize that there is something much more important to the Lord. God wants us to enjoy Him, His creation, and His love. He wants us to lead our children into celebrating life with Him and taking time to notice the beauty He has poured into each and every day. He wants us to revel in His goodness and love. God, the artist, went to great lengths to create tangible beauty for us to enjoy in every facet of life. He made visual beauty with colors and design. He made audible beauty in which our souls can feast on lovely music and song. He made the beauty of taste and aroma pleasing to our palate: the sweetness of honey and the tartness of lemon and dill, the satisfying aroma of roasted meat or fish, the richness of cheese, the bite of chili peppers. We are equipped with the tactile senses of touching and caressing other human beings, as well as the soothing comfort of a soft wool blanket or cotton shirt. We have tangible beauty in endless varieties and amounts; there is no end to the number of ways we can take pleasure in God's created world. He provided these pleasures because He loved us." ~ The Mom Walk

What a joy it has been for me over the years to enjoy all the beauty the Lord has created with my children. Enjoying backyard campouts, taking trips to beautiful places, drawing circles in the sand with our toes -- each of these things has helped us draw closer to what really matters. We are always busy and often find ourselves feeling cramped by schedules, phones and email. But a few hours (or days!) away from the pull and draw of life seems to set everything aright.

I love that the Lord enjoys beauty, and created us to be able to enjoy it, too! Pulling loaves of fresh bread from the oven sending wonderful smells wafting up and down stairs is sure to bring everyone to the kitchen. A vase of new flowers from the garden put on a side table adds a pop of color just where we need it, bringing the outside in. Hearing the kids share newly-written songs around the piano makes me want to set my own work aside. I think it's because in all of those things we hear echoes of our Creator, Who created giraffes and sequoias, heavy-scented gardenia and sweetpeas, chirping crickets and the roaring ocean.

There is one more thing, Satan would love for us to live in fear, in dread of darkness, in despair of this broken world in which we live, surrounded by lies and threats. Yet, when we open our eyes to the heaven on earth, the fingerprints of God every day, the sounds of His voice throughout the art of life, we give reason to have hope. The light of His reality crowds out the empty threats of Satan who has already been defeated. And so celebrating the beauty and light become a soul defense against fear and despair.

You will truly be inspired when you read this article, the hope in a young girl's heart, that mounts up over fear and lives in purpose, because her own soul has been filled, over the years, with beauty. Read Joy's article here. and below, a tiny excerpt:

 I am in the exact same place as those girls. MY days have a price on them, they are precious. To be lived with a sense of urgency, gratefulness, and excellence, because I have been bought by the blood of my beloved. It makes me think of this.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10

 And so, when I draw my family in to appreciate beauty in any form, I know it is time well spent. I hope you find your own spots of beauty to enjoy this weekend and build beauty into the soul foundations of your own child who needs hope.

 

And the winner is.....and mentoring, a necessity!

Renoir

Each of us has a friend hole in our hearts. We were made to be loved, known, understood, affirmed, encouraged. It's why Jesus' philosophy of ministry when he came to the earth was personal. Develop an inner circle of friends that you love deeply, live life with, teach and instruct and then send them out into the world with your messages of truth.

It is why Paul said for the older women to teach and instruct the younger. We need mentors. We long to be known--not invisible--and to walk hand in hand with beloved friends and older, wiser, more experienced women who have already been down the path.

I know that I longed for such a person in my own life.

God kept leading Clay and me to do things differently than our parents had done

to nurse our babies, to have as more children, to start our own ministry and conferences and publishing house,

to educate our children through mentorship and literature and discipleship, instead of the tried and true school methods,

But, I had no one ahead of me to tell me what the pot holes were--what to avoid, what to lay aside, how to trust God--

I knew no one with my ideals.

And so I wanted to try to be an encouragement to those who were walking this road behind me, so that moms would not feel alone as I felt.

I must admit, I was shocked at how many women entered the contest to win 40 minutes of mentoring with me--

it shows me that there are many, many women with a desire to be encouraged--and I believe that God meant for us to have Grandma's, moms, aunts and a circle of wisdom to show us the way.

But there are very few to find, at least for me, with my ideals.

And so, I want you to know I am praying and praying about how to reach more moms and to network with more women to train and encourage them to become mentors and to start small groups, so that like-minded moms, with similar ideals, do not feel alone.

So pray for me and for all of us to find new ways to bridge the gap and to develop ways to hold hands across the world in our common call and ideals to build a godly generation in and through our homes.

Here are the winners of last week's contests

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF YOU! I pray all of you will be encouraged!

Mom Walk and Journey's of Faithfulness  Kort
Mom Walk and Journey's of Faithfulness  Christy
GRAND PRIZE  Bundle: Mom Walk, Journey's of Faithfulness, Desperate, and Mentor session: Melissa 
From Twitter party:
Journey's of Faithfulness: Aurie Good
Mom Malk: Jenni Keller,
Mom Walk:
Elise Klicko
Journey's of Faithfulness: Leigh Dusek,
Mom Walk:  Sarah Steidl,
Journey's of Faithfulness: Carla Bruns
And for those of you who bought our books last week at the discounted price, we thank you for supporting our ministry by buying these books through our office! We are trying to get them in to our office as fast as we can, and then out to you asap!
For those of you who would like to purchase The Mom Walk or Journeys of Faithfulness, you may order from here!
Thanks for entering the fun contest. We have some more fun giveaways soon!
Click here to Reply or Forward

Front Porch Ponderings

Finally, a day that is below 80 degrees--a longing for those of us who have no air conditioning!

Sitting on my front porch listening to the aspen leaves crackle and dance in the wind.

Sharing the joy of one of my children being somewhat twitterpated.

Helping another child arrange rooms, people, places, airline tickets and talking about dreams and life before Scotland comes

Praying for Joel to get the Apple store job he applied for, and for a Christian roommate in Denver and for money to make throughout his master's program.

Pondering if there is any hope of ever balancing my life.

Talking on the phone to a dear friend afar who is wondering the same thing.

Thinking the hardest overall thing in my life as a mom has been not having time alone on a regular basis-

yet, loving, now the moments I do have to just be with my children who now come and go-

but still wishing for time alone, to read, to just sit, to eventually clear all the messes

no, I take that back--if I could just have a secretary and a house-keeper to help me keep it all.

Wishing all of you and peaceful day.

and yes, I will announce the winners when my friend shows me how to take them off the thingy that I used to gather all the names! It is coming and I send love and wishes of peace to you all.

Guess I should eventually get dressed for the meeting ahead!