From Desperate to Hope to Friendship to Destiny!

Motherhood is daunting. It is delightful, fulfilling, rewarding, eternally significant, but it is also daunting! There are times in every mother's journey when the less than glamorous aspects of motherhood can feel like a heavy blanket of desperation wrapped around your spirit!

This is why Sarah Mae and I wrote the book: Desperate: Hope for the Mom who needs to Breathe, which inspired this year's Mom Heart Conference theme, "I take hope. Moving from Desperate to Destiny."

All of us need to take hope from the promises and wisdom of God to make it through those wet blanket, overwhelming, dark days.

Join hundreds of women from all over the US and other countries to be inspired and encouraged.

This year, I want every mom who attends to leave the conference with hope for herself, for her home, for having the ability to love and shepherd the hearts of her children. Not just a passing feeling, but that God is active and living in themselves, their homes and in the hearts of their children. The kind of hope that leads you from desperate to a sense of destiny--that through you God will shape the next generation of adults, and that your labor and love is investing in eternity.

This weekend will be one of refreshment, encouragement, close friendship and fellowship, laughter, tears and life. I hope many of you can make it. There is music, great food, chocolates, great speakers, lots of extras and books galore!

Please join us and tell your friends. For 4 more days, we are extending early registration, which is the lowest price and including $10 for the book table. But you must register by Saturday night, midnight, to get in on this offer.

Can't wait to see you there.

For more info, go here,  http://www.wholeheart.org/our-events/

and please help us spread the word!

Pick up our button from my side bar and put it on your side bar!

Thanks a zillion! :)

Motherhood is daunting. It is delightful, fulfilling, rewarding, eternally significant, but it is also daunting! There are times in every mother's journey when the less than glamorous aspects of motherhood can feel like a heavy blanket of desperation wrapped around your spirit!

This is why Sarah Mae and I wrote the book: Desperate: Hope for the Mom who needs to Breathe, which inspired this year's Mom Heart Conference theme, "I take hope. Moving from Desperate to Destiny."

All of us need to take hope from the promises and wisdom of God to make it through those wet blanket, overwhelming, dark days.

Join hundreds of women from all over the US and other countries to be inspired and encouraged.

This year, I want every mom who attends to leave the conference with hope for herself, for her home, for having the ability to love and shepherd the hearts of her children. Not just a passing feeling, but that God is active and living in themselves, their homes and in the hearts of their children. The kind of hope that leads you from desperate to a sense of destiny--that through you God will shape the next generation of adults, and that your labor and love is investing in eternity.

This weekend will be one of refreshment, encouragement, close friendship and fellowship, laughter, tears and life. I hope many of you can make it. There is music, great food, chocolates, great speakers, lots of extras and books galore!

Please join us and tell your friends. For 4 more days, we are extending early registration, which is the lowest price and including $10 for the book table. But you must register by Saturday night, midnight, to get in on this offer.

Can't wait to see you there.

For more info, go here,  http://www.wholeheart.org/our-events/

and please help us spread the word!

Pick up our button from my side bar and put it on your side bar!

Thanks a zillion! :)

The Culture of our own family home.....

“Where we love and are loved is home, home where our feet might leave, but not our hearts.” Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Welcome began where my precious firstborn, fought the construction at the airport, to pick me up one more time and to say, "Hi, Mama. I love you. I am so very happy you are home."

Then the wonderful emails, comments, facebook messages--to see how very blessed I am to have so many, undeserved friends praying and wishing me well and welcoming me home--

I do not deserve such abundant grace and love and it fills my heart with thanksgiving.

My shady front porch which says, "You belong here." I bought 4 rocking chairs this summer that invited us all to sit and talk whenever and we spent hours being together here--and had to pull up chairs.

So happy to be in my home again–

where the tea is strong, (Yorkshire Gold)

and always  in China cups or mugs, (It keeps it hotter!) This one of my favs--all the kids gave it to me for Christmas a few years ago!

At my kitchen counter, I can grab a handful of my dark almonds, (I buy them in bulk--my antioxidants, you know!) or nuts or grapes or fruit--whatever is in season,

my little books and things that are familiar every where I left them......

and Clay and I chatter about events, ideas, dreams and thoughts and I know he will laugh at the things that made me merry! He puts on music which wafts through our home most of the time, all the time;

 Sarah greeting me with a fresh crock-pot full of chicken, herbs, oil, potatoes and a sauce that is savory--meal already prepared--and all is straight, clean and inviting--no work for me!

flowers that have lasted us 2 weeks (only $3 bunches--picked well! ) and a lit candle, fresh pears and cheese, and home made apple crisp

 snuggling up with a great  "Joy" heart talk,  before she goes to bed, sharing secrets; (on the phone, of course, talking of Thanksgiving in just 3 weeks,........)

my own little books and magazines and precious pictures and things all around, and having candlelight and warm meals at night in our warm comfy den with....

and lots of talking and sharing with everyone wanting everything heard and known and giggled at;

Kelcy–oh faithful golden retriever paws me again and again and again, and where all is familiar and all belong to this tiny little community of Clarkson.  We have built our culture over many years--but it speaks to all of us of "Clarkson" and though it may not appeal to others, to us it speaks

"Home where you belong."

Oh so happy to be home tonight!

What things define some of your family culture?

Mentoring Monday 4 Grace in the midst of Interruptions and Unexpecteds

Ella, my new friend

No make-up, wrinkled clothes, unwashed and a little wild hair, and exhaustion from 6 days on the road and 3 mights of 4 hours of sleep, left me ripe for "an attitude."

Arising at 4:30 a.m., I slipped into a taxi with my dear friend in order to be sure we made our plane with no hitches. I am a little neurotic about being at airlines early, especially when I cannot wait to get home.

Overflowing with adrenalin-filled days, hundreds of faces and tears and hearts shared and speaking had left me quite drained. Now, with cheered heart, I was secure knowing that a pot of hot tea, warm fresh meal-(not hotel fare) and the comfort of my home was awaiting with my most beloved ones, who had "prepared a place for me," as was custom with the Clarkson clan whenever anyone returned to the beloved haven called home.

Fast Forward and we found airport in Harrisburg was abuzz with people hoping to get out to their own homes before the storm erupted on the east coast where connections to cities and travel back home would stop travel.

"Well, at least I am secure. I made an early flight home just to be sure I got out."

Too many details to write, now finds me in Detroit, now Monday monday morning, not home and hoping to make my flight.

The agent had spoken the words, "There is no connection to any city where you can find a flight home to Denver today, and you may not get out until Wednesday."

My heart sank, anger was knocking at my heart, the thoughts of, "But Lord, I have been spending my life all week for others, and staying up with them and praying and helping......if you loved me........"

And then the check of spirit...Not my will but yours be done. Look how hard this sweet young woman is working with hundreds of disgruntled customers--and she alone is not responsible for the storm.

And so, my focus shifted to her. "I bet this job is so hard when people expect you to do the impossible."

She began to pour out her heart as her fingers flew over the computer to find just one--just one airplane going to Denver with one seat where she could put my name on it.

Seems this sweet woman had two children, a sense of humor, a servant heart and a desire to help--if she was given the chance. Our stories were shared, and a way was found through another angel friend standing waiting.

If I could get to Detroit--rent a car, drive for 9 hours through rain and fog and also beautiful scenery, rent a hotel room, then I could catch a plane home Monday morning.

Interruptions--a constant of life. Changing my plans, interrupting my expectations--daily, momently--the proverbial glass of spilled milk, the illness the machine that stops working (dishwasher, car, computer, ....), illness, fusses and fighting--

an opportunity for grace and friendship and love and gentleness, (my current focus)

or a wasted moment of anger spilled, feelings erupting and peace lost.

It is a choice that starts in our hearts, our minds--to yield this moment to God--and ask for perspective and strength--

or to waste the opportunity to worship, by faith and to be patient and see His hand and fingerprints all over the moments.

As for me,

We picked up another unknown, stranded Allume friend, traveled the 9+hours and giggled, talked, shared convictions and enjoyed each other's friendship amidst the most beautiful colors of leaves shouting out the glory of God.

And now, once again, I am off to another airport, just hoping that this time, it will lead me to home.

Embracing Serving Our Children, Because Time Goes Quickly

"Six years passed between my third child, Nathan, and my fourth child, Joy. I had had three miscarriages and didn't think I would ever have another baby. By the time Joy came, I had lived through the early youth of my other three children and had seen that they really did grow up quickly. Finally, by experience, I understood that the dependent stage of early childhood was only for a season. I could see how important it was to enjoy each day and treasure these moments of early life with my children, because the years did pass quickly. How I wished I could take back all the impatient words I had said, all the guilt I had imposed on my older children just because they were acting their age and taking up my time. Fortunately, they remember mostly the good times and not my immature responses to their normal behavior.

I was much more patient with the interruptions that Joy brought to my life because I realized that I might never have this opportunity again. I cherished our time alone while she nursed. I enjoyed the sweet moments when she would crawl into bed with me and snuggle close. Having made my peace (mostly) with the reality that giving my children time is a part of serving them, I was able to relax and open myself to the joys of being with them.

These days I have no baby in the house. Instead, I have an exuberant seven-year-old and three teenagers. And these beloved children still take up all of my time, but in different ways. Yet since I know that this is a necessary sacrifice, a part of my service to them and to God, it is easier to bear--partly because I have made the choice to embrace the task of mothering, partly because I have come to terms with the natural demands children make on my time, but mostly because my attitude has changed." ~ The Mission of Motherhood

Of course if you know our family, you're aware that the seven-year-old I mentioned is now in her first year at Biola University, while the teenagers have grown into lovely adults who are my best friends. And now, even more, I realize how swiftly time flies and how quickly our opportunity to serve and nurture and shape the hearts of our children in such an intensive way, 24 hours a day, passes by.

Looking at Jesus interacting with His disciples; with crowds, pushing and pulling, demanding, shouting, jostling most days for three years straight; reading of how He took children on His lap when others would have pushed them away; amazed at how He washes 120 toes the night before He is sentenced to death--all of these things give me a picture of what my life as a mom is all about. True joy comes ... sometimes slowly ... in fits and starts ... two steps forward, one step back ... when I develop a long-range vision and believe His promise that my work will not go unrewarded.

 Praying for you today, that the Lord would give you a vision, soften your heart, and strengthen you for the days ahead!

When Dancing With the Lord Has Twists and Turns

I hope you're joining us at MomHeart Online and The Better Mom for our fall Book Club where we're studying my book, Dancing With My Father! Dancing was written specifically to address the difficulty of finding joy in a fallen world. It seems more and more important to me as time goes on that women know this truth; that the Lord can help us live with joy, if we will hold tightly to Him and not give up!

Today we're talking about chapter four, at The Better Mom. Won't you join us, and share your thoughts? Here's a snippet from this chapter ...

“Often it seems we would rather have another life—any life—than our own. Somehow we think if we lived a different life, it would be easier for us to grow in faithfulness and spiritual character. Yet it is in accepting today with all of its issues, in accepting God’s will and training grounds that we learn the secret of joy in His presence. It is in being faithful to our own set of tests that we become mature and fitted for the ministry He has called each of us to accomplish.” ~Sally Clarkson, Dancing With My Father

See you there! 

A Harvest Party and Pumpkin Cake to Match

 

The palette of God's painting is the splendid world of color where He crafts His beauty for our pleasure. Daily taking walks in places chosen with care, has filled my soul with worship, as I look for the amazing detail to which He goes to bring our souls pleasure through what He has designed.

The colors of fall and the billowing leaves blowing to His symphony give me great pleasure. I was sitting quietly the other morning and watched the leaves literally dancing as they fluttered in breezes onto a lake that shined and whipped about in the wind. It was a symphony and ballet of natural beauty and delight.

Yet, one must take the time to notice or the loveliness of the moment will be lost. Throughout our whole lives, I have taken my sweet ones with me to observe God's artistry.

I would ask them to:

"Name all the colors you can see in the sunset sky."

"How many different shapes of leaves have fallen to the ground? Look at each design--they are as beautiful and as different as snowflakes."

To not take notice is to ignore God.

And so, in His image, when we create beauty and order, we are co-artists with God--the color of our homes, the interesting ways we place books, pictures, paintings, objects of interest, all reflect His imprint on our lives and are a part of incarnating Him in our homes.

So, in celebration of His art of our lives, last Saturday, we invited a house full of friends to come over for a harvest evening. A potluck of wonderful food with white chicken chile at the center (Sarah made it) and all sorts of offerings, we ate to our fill.

Finally, we ended with Clay on guitar, Joel on piano, and my friend Terri, who plays the violin, with a rousing series of soul filled singing. A night to remember as we worshipped and celebrated His art within us.

Terri's Oh So Delectable Pumpkin Cake

(Pumpkin Bundt Cake with Apple-Date Filling) Ingredients 3/4 cup finely chopped pumpkin seeds 1 1/2 cups peeled and diced Granny Smith apples 2 tablespoons butter, melted 1/2 cup finely chopped dried dates 1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour 2 cups granulated sugar 1 cup butter, softened 4 large eggs 1 (15-oz.) can pumpkin 1 tablespoon vanilla extract 3 cups all-purpose flour 2 teaspoons baking powder 2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice 1/2 teaspoon baking soda Sugared Pecans and Pumpkin Seeds Caramel Glaze Preparation . 1. Preheat oven to 350°. Bake pumpkin seeds in a single layer in a shallow pan 6 to 8 minutes or until toasted, stirring halfway through. Cool 15 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 325°. . 2. Toss diced apples in 2 Tbsp. melted butter to coat in a medium bowl; add chopped dates, next 2 ingredients, and toasted pumpkin seeds, and toss until well blended. . 3. Beat granulated sugar and 1 cup butter at medium speed with an electric mixer until light and fluffy. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating just until blended after each addition. Add pumpkin and vanilla; beat just until blended. . 4. Stir together 3 cups flour and next 3 ingredients. Gradually add flour mixture to butter mixture, beating at low speed just until blended after each addition. Spoon half of batter into a greased and floured 10-inch (12-cup) Bundt pan. Spoon apple mixture over batter, leaving a 1/2-inch border around outer edge. Spoon remaining batter over apple mixture.

Enjoy each luscious bite and then go out and celebrate the artistry of fall!

Book Club: Dancing With My Father {Chapter Three} Giving up our Rights to Him

Myles Birkett

I have thought a lot lately about the nature of a child. A child, who is cared for and loved, generally trusts his father with all of the details of life. As a matter of fact, a secure child doesn't even ponder the issues of life, but just lives into the moment, because he has not ever had to carry the issues of life.

And Jesus says,  “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

Innocence, trust, pure in heart.

I think that as I look back over my own life, I can see that God has intervened, provided, taught, comforted and held me up even in the dark times.

Not all of the moments of my life in this world have been easy, many have been devastating. But I wish I had spent less time worrying, less time fretting or telling God my will. I know that He is good. I also understand that we live in a fallen place where evil abides and where Satan tempts and accuses and has stirred up people to turn away from God.

But now I see that nothing separates me from the love of God. Nothing.

How much easier it would have been if I had just released all of my own "carrying" of these burdens. It would have been so much better if I had understood that it was not for me to "figure out" all of the "whys," but I so wish,  I had just left it up to Him, His will, His ways, His wisdom. My life would have held more peace, and I would have heard more of His whispers of comfort and felt more joy in living and resting in His strength and abiding love.

“God’s desire is for us to experience true joy and deep fulfillment. It must start, however, with the journey into the recesses of our heart. It is only as we release our hold on the things that we think we need to be truly happy, when we open our hands freely, that we experience true joy. We yield our demands and expectations to Him so that we may take His hand and let Him lead us into the dance of joy. He is the One who will teach us. But it requires a total relinquishment of self and a simple trust in a great God, simple faith to understand that He who created joy will lead us on the pathway that ends in the joy that will last forever.” ~ Sally Clarkson, Dancing With My Father

Here's a question each of us must answer:  Are you willing to give away all that you think is valuable in order to find all that truly has worth?

We're discussing chapter three of my book, Dancing With My Father, today at MomHeart Online! Join us?

Mentoring Monday Train Up a Child

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs  22:6

Many questions I receive every week have to do with the discipline of children.  And I will answer some as we go along. However, training is the base for children learning to behave and to obey the will of their parents. Training is important to the character development of children. The children who are the most intelligent and most content and least problematic are the ones who have been held the most and had the most personal input from their parents at an early age and whose needs have been attended to. So training starts with the heart attitude of the parents and their willingness to play their loving and cherishing role in a mature and attending way.

There is so much to talk about, and I can't possibly cover everything in one short video, but I hope this will encourage you and give you some ideas for your children.

Let me know what you think!

The Balance Between Grace and Discipline When Training Children

My children are an indescribable gift.

Each one is different, crafted with particular traits and talents that make them unique. While we share traditions and memories, favorite books and foods, values and beliefs, I can see God's fingerprints on each one -- and His way of crafting each individual to reflect something different of His own heart.

This is why there will never be a formula for exactly how you should raise your children. Because each one is an individual, living in your home, with your circumstances and your values and your community of friends.

Discipline encompasses all we do to train and mold and encourage our children to grow in the grace of God, to shape their characters to be like His, to help them find those particular bents and talents that best magnify God in their lives.

Disciplining children well means first knowing them--what's going on in their lives, their strengths and weaknesses, their particular idiosyncrasies that perhaps no one else would know. And then it requires that I know and listen to the Lord, asking for His wisdom when I'm confused as to whether they need correction, encouragement, or more training. So often the whiny child is tired, the grouchy child is hungry, and what they really need is a fix to that problem rather than a stern correction--and that goes for adults, too!

"I have often met well-intentioned parents who think they must be harsh and demanding to their young children in order to secure their obedience and good behavior and to build their characters. Too often, I'm afraid, they fall into the trap of simply lording it over their children rather than truly reaching their hearts.

I'm not saying that obedience and behavior and character aren't important. In fact, I think that teaching our children these qualities is essential. I believe, however, that Jesus showed us plainly the most effective way to do this: by modeling obedience and right behavior and good character. And this requires us to do what Jesus did for the disciples--to lead our children not only by telling them what to do, but by showing them.

When we choose to graciously overlook our children's messes and accidents, we are teaching them to be patient and forgiving with the mistakes of others. When we react sensitively, thoughtfully, and patiently to them, we are helping to instill these qualities in their lives. As they benefit from our unconditional love, they learn to extend it to others as well. As they watch us extend hospitality, care for others, and pray for them, they learn to make service a part of life. And as they observe us searching Scripture, spending time with the Lord, and making faith-based decisions, they learn these things as well. Modeling loving service to our children gives them something to emulate in their own lives." The Mission of Motherhood

Aren't you glad He knows you and is patient with you? Do you ever feel pressure to discipline a certain way because someone else said so, rather than trusting your heart about what your child might really need?