How to Really Love Your Boys! With Nathan & A podcast

Nathan and me blowing away at Westminster Abbey in London!

Nathan and me blowing away at Westminster Abbey in London!

Our children, especially boys, come to us in all sorts of shapes, sizes, issues, personalities and skill sets. I must confess that I struggled with all of my children in different ways at different times. But at some point, I finally had to realize that I needed to make peace with my precious children and the puzzle I was given to figure out with my own different ones, as all were quite unique. 

Looking at their hearts, seeking to understand their God-given personalities, giving myself a lifetime to become more mature and more wise, gave me the space I needed to figure out the puzzle of children I had been given. 

Nathan was in England for the wedding of a good friend this week and left room to visit me for several days. Both of us talked about how many emails, messages and letters we keep getting from people all over the world who have been encouraged and inspired by Different, the book we wrote together. Yet, our conversation together drifted to the subject of how all kids, especially boys, need some crucial pieces of support to ease into their roles as men. 

We recorded a podcast about how to love your boys in such a way that you can stay close, even through the teen years.  (And I think it all applies to girls, too! :). The stories we share are from our lives. It was fun for me to hear Nathan's perspective. 

Thanks for all the letters about our book Different. We are honored by your messages and pray God's grace for each of you as you go through your journey with your own boys. 

Heartbeats 5 & 6: Lifegiving Parent Podcast with Clay and Sally

Saturday night, out for dinner and a stroll....

Saturday night, out for dinner and a stroll....

As I watched Great Britain's royal wedding, I was drawn into a story that was both familiar and distant. The world of royalty and celebrity rarely touches the simple life of a ministry couple out for dinner in Oxford (that would be us). And yet, as I listened to Harry and Meghan exchange vows I was struck by the common tradition of Christian marriage we share with the new couple. All believing couples stand on the same ground, beginning a life together with the same commitment expressed in two simple couplets: "Do you" and "I do." They are words of faith and will.

What does that have to do with parenting, you may be asking? It just seemed so timely and serendipitous to me how those couplets parallel the two heartbeats of parental lifegiving that Sally and I discuss in this week's podcast: strengthening your child's faith, and shaping your child's will. The vows of Christian marriage are a metaphor of the vows we are preparing our children to take with Jesus. "Do you take Me to be your Lord" is a matter of faith, believing in what is being promised. "Yes, I do" is a matter of will, choosing to follow with all one's life.

As parents, we are in effect giving God's life to our children by helping them flesh out the words of the old hymn: "Trust and obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to truth and obey." Strengthening your child's faith and shaping your child's will is the path for them to finding their life in Christ, just as every marriage begins with belief and willingness. Let the short paragraphs below from the book prime your heart for this week's podcast.

From "Strengthening Your Child's Faith":

"God sees a valid and even vibrant faith in children of all ages--in your children! As lifegiving parents, make it your commitment to look for that faith in your children, acknowledging and affirming it whenever you can. It probably won't sound like adult faith, and that's as it should be. It's an innocent and seedling kind of faith that should be watered, cultivated, and tended. It's possible you'll be tempted to correct its immature or misdirected expressions or, perhaps worse, to just ignore it; but resist either urge. Instead, engage your children's faith and draw it out. Give them room to grow, and help give their faith even more expression. Since you'll be following Jesus' teachings on children, there should be no better way to bring the life of God into your home."

From "Shaping Your Child's Will":

"For a lifegiving parent, shaping your children's wills is about influencing their hearts to want to do the will of God. You don't shape your children's wills just so they'll be good decision makers; you shape their wills so they will be prepared to do God's will when it is clearly known and act on other biblical principles when it is not. It's never just an impersonal or logical process; it's about a personal and spiritual relationship with the Lord. That's why shaping your children's wills is a heartbeat of lifegiving parenting--you are connecting them with the living God."

Fun With The English Language in the UK & Podcast with Joy & Joel

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I love England, Scotland, Northern Ireland, Republic of Ireland, Wales--all that encompasses the United Kingdom. 

Love my friends all over the UK and Europe.

Love adventures of all sorts. 

Our family has a very strong heritage from places all over the UK and Europe. Our families originally came from these areas and we were missionaries in several different countries around. We love our friends here. Especially in regards to the UK. We Clarksons are passionate about literature, words, theology and messages. Books are our friends. Tea is a favorite habit of life. Walking long distances as a way of life is a preference. And I personally enjoy the history, architecture, and civility. We couldn't be more grateful for being able to live here. 

But, anyone who has moved to another culture knows that living in a new country always means adjustments, learning to understand the values and priorities of the people of that region, becoming familiar with the different foods. Finding the housing, banking, bill structures, driving and so much more to be a contrast to our own home countries, adjustments of every kind will create a steep learning curve. .

Yet, perhaps one of the most challenging issues is language. Though people in Oxford and all the cities where my children have lived here do speak English, there are many differences in the ways we use words and communicate with one another. We thought it would be fun to share some of the ones we have observed and experienced in our own lives. Often when we speak our "Americanese" people look closely at us to try to understand just what we said. Perhaps it is the accent but often it is the way we use words. 

Today, just a "wee" bit of fun to pass your way. 

Cheers, everyone!

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Two Benedictions: Joel and Joy with original music on the shores of bonnie St. Andrews. 

Two Benedictions: Joel and Joy with original music on the shores of bonnie St. Andrews. 

We are an artistic bunch: books, music, movies, scripts, cd's. Not a scientist in the crowd. Many of you who have followed J&J have written to ask me about the music we have shared on fb and other places so I thought I would go ahead and put the info here. Enjoy!

Hi friends! So excited to launch the lyric video to our newest song, 'Over and Over!' For those of you who don't know, we're making a new album, and are offering this version of the song as a...

Joy and Joel are making a beautiful new album and you can get a download of the first song by supporting them on Patreon! They want to make all their listeners part of the process as they write and record all their new songs, and they need your help. They have just released a lyric video for their first song, are offering this version of the song as a download exclusively through Patreon, so make sure to head over there and sign up to support them. By committing $5 per song, you’ll get full access to their Patreon portal for exclusive ‘living room session’ versions of all the song, plus videos that give a peek into their writing process together, interviews about life in Scotland, and live performances only available for subscribers to their Patreon page. Head over to their Patreon to sign up! Thanks friends!

You’ll love their music. I listen to it all the time and it fills my heart. But then, I am their mama.....!

To subscribe, go to: 

patreon.com/twobenedictions

I know you will enjoy hearing Joel's and Joy's newest song as Two Benedictions. 

Storyformed Podcast Episode #28 - Cultivating Your Child's Imagination

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Do you sometimes wish your child had more of an imagination? Do you wonder what steps to take to help cultivate an imagination in your kids? Today on the podcast, Holly Packiam and Jaime Showmaker talk about why imagination matters in life and faith, drawing from the stories of inventors, authors, and even their own experiences with their kids. 

Topics include:

  • How imagination inspires creativity
  • How imagination leads to a life with God
  • Ways to cultivate imagination in our kids' lives
  • How to create space for imagination in our children
  • Book recommendations 

To listen to the podcast and to view show notes on storyformed.com, CLICK HERE.

Delicious Chicken Salad is Always a Hit! Even in Oxford!

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What an overwhelmingly busy time the Clarksons have had this week. Sarah graduated from Oxford, so our house was full with people sleeping everywhere--in beds on floors. The celebration was wonderful and the hours and hours of being together was fun. And this week Nathan comes. I can hardly wait to hug his neck and take him off by himself to talk and talk and talk.

But as per usual, everyone wanted to eat, drink tea and coffee all day long. I have a smaller kitchen, fewer kitchen tools than at home. But I knew everyone would expect to have old family favorites. An old standby is my mom's chicken salad that I have added my own twists to over the years. it is great in an avocado half or with a salad and crackers or on a croissant. In the midst of my own busyness, I thought you might also need an easy but pleasing recipe for your crowd, so I am sharing it today.

If you're looking for a simple, delicious filling for sandwiches or the perfect spring lettuce topping, you'll want to try this wonderful chicken salad. We always serve it on croissants to the sweet women who have come to my house for retreat weekends, and I hope you'll love it, too. 

Chicken Salad

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts (can substitute with a whole rotisserie chicken, pull meat)

2/3 cup mayonnaise (sometimes I add just a little bit of vanilla yoghurt to add taste and fewer calories and this week I tried some lemon curd yoghurt! Yumm!)

3/4 cups buttered, salted pecans (in my book)

1/4-1/2  cup green onion, minced

1 cup grapes (purple or green or both!) sliced in half

2 tablespoons parsley, minced

2 teaspoons curry powder of choice (add more if needed when tasting at end)

1-2 tablespoons honey or raw sugar, which is usually what I use

1 half cup soft craisins, optional 

salt & pepper to taste  

Directions:  Shred rotisserie chicken, or place uncooked chicken in saucepan and cover with water by one inch. Bring to a simmer and adjust heat to maintain a very low simmer. Cook 15 - 20 minutes, until cooked through. Drain well, or pat dry with paper towels or you will have watery salad! Shred chicken into small bite size pieces. Mix chicken thoroughly with remaining ingredients, starting with mayo. Add more mayo if using for sandwiches. 

I also love serving this with warm pita bread or flour tortillas. (You can heat on grill or in microwave for 20 seconds in damp paper towel.) You could also cut up or tear the bread or tortilla into small triangles and pick up salad with bread for bite size portions.  Or use it on crackers as an appetizer! (I have also wrapped this up in flour tortillas and served as wraps for lunches! It is so versatile.)

Find more family favorite recipes along with encouragement for tabletime discipleship in The Lifegiving Table!

A fun podcast for Friday. Have a happy week.

Renewing Your Child's Mind &Guarding Your Children's Heart& : Lifegiving Parent: Sally & Clay #2

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Finally, the launch week of our newest book, The Lifegiving Parent, has come to an end. I have said this before and others say it, too: I have the very best launch teams in the world! Thanks to everyone who willingly shared about our book in some way. It is our firm belief that as the family goes, so goes culture, so goes history. It is the reason Clay and I are passionate about educating and inspiring parents all over the world to be intentional about mentoring their children in a rich, real faith in God and in Christ. We feel as though we are a team with you in helping reach our world. Thanks again for all who supported us in this!  

This week on the podcast, Clay and I speak about 2 more heartbeats: "Guarding Your Child's Heart" &"Renewing Your Child's Mind": Hope you feel encouraged and led to wisdom. 

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Heart and mind. As humans, we know these terms as vital organs in our physical bodies. If either stops functioning, life ends. As Christians, we also relate to the terms as expressions of who we really are, our spiritual inner person. In contrast, though, without the Spirit of God, true spiritual life will never begin. Lifegiving parenting is about making sure you give your children God's life for their heart and mind so they will be alive for Him. It's like having a lantern with a candle in it that isn't lit. Until you light the candle, the lantern exists, but it is not functioning as it is designed to do. It is not alive. This week is about lighting the candle of God's life in your child's heart and mind. Here are some excerpts to get you started:

From "Guarding Your Child's Heart":

"As a lifegiving parent, you are the guardian and protector of your children's hearts, directing them away from "the way of the wicked" (Proverbs 4:19) and onto "the ancient paths, where the good way is" (Jeremiah 6:16). Your job as a heart guard is not complicated--it is to keep your children on God's "good way" and path of life so they will know and experience the very life of God in your home and family. That path is as old as the Bible's story and as new as the latest relationships, appetites, and influences looking for a place in your children's hearts. You are the gate that either opens to let them in or closes to keep them out, depending on which path brings them to your children."

"Of all the heartbeats of lifegiving parenting, this one--renewing your children's minds--arguably requires the most from you as the parent. Your children, whether they are young an immature or beginning to mature as young teens, will be looking to you not just to understand what it means to have a redeemed mind but also to see what it means to live out of a redeemed mind. You are living out the spirit of Paul's admonition for them: "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:1, NIV). In many ways, your mature example of having a redeemed mind will serve as their first opportunity to practice what it means to be a disciple of Christ--to follow the way of God and do His will,"

Write down 2 ways you will apply what you hear this week. And  be sure to share a book with one of your friends or neighbors! You might be a part of God's hands to transform a family.

My Favorite Literary Mothers - A Book List

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It's Mother's Day in the United States this weekend, and in celebration and honor of our beloved mothers, I thought that I would take the opportunity to share a list of books that include some of my very favorite mothers in literature. Enjoy!

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LITTLE WOMEN- LOUISA MAY ALCOTT

You can hardly have a list of beloved literary mothers and begin with anyone other than Marmee. Mrs. March is almost the quintessential ideal mother. She is wise, kind, loving, and compassionate to her four growing daughters. She regularly models hospitality and selflessness, sharing with the needy and tending to the sick, in spite of limited financial resources and an often absent husband.  At a time when many women were still regarded as somewhat second-class citizens, Marmee encouraged her daughters to pursue their passions and creativity.  Her gentle, quiet, practical, and strong devotion to her family shines through in every moment. 

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LITTLE MEN-LOUISA MAY ALCOTT

With a mother like Marmee, it is no wonder that Jo March Bhaer also shines as one of the most memorable mothers in literature. In the sequel to Little Women, Jo is mother to not only her own boys, but an entire school full of boys at Plumfield, the academy she runs with her Professor husband. Jo is a perfect, spunky "boy mom," though wisdom can be gleaned from these pages for mothers of either gender. She takes delight in the individuality of each child and nourishes their humanity with compassion, belief, and ingenuity. 

To view the entire list on storyformed.com, CLICK HERE

Happy Mother's Day!

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“My calling as a mother is the same as any other Christian’s: to fulfill God’s will for our lives and to glorify him. This means I am to follow the Lord’s design for my marriage—cleaving to my husband, supporting him, honoring him, loving him as my own flesh. I am to be a careful steward of the world in which I live. I am to seek opportunities to bring God’s message of redemption to others, to make full use of the gifts and talents he has placed in my life to bring him glory and further his kingdom. And I am to delight in him and worship him and praise him in whatever circumstance I find myself.” ~ Sally Clarkson, The Mission of Motherhood

This weekend is Mother's Day! I pray you have a lovely day with your precious families. What a treat it has been to share with you and some of my most inspirational friends nearly every day these past few weeks; thank you for being with us and I hope you're been encouraged to love your children well by walking with them along God's path, discussing His ways, studying His word, and enjoying His world.

I'm so grateful to be able to share one final Launch Week(s) giveaway with you today! In celebration of Mother's Day, we're giving away three books of your choice from this list: The Lifegiving Parent/Experience, The Lifegiving Table/Experience, The Lifegiving Home/Experience, Own Your Life, You Are Loved, or Different!

And I'm also so glad to offer to one winner the newest book from my friend, Kristen Welch: Raising World Changers in a Changing World. I love Kristen's heart for following hard after Jesus, and the way she has brought her family along as she does so. This book tells a bit of that story.  About the book: "Almost any parent you asked would tell you that they want their children to be happy, successful adults. But many of us forget (or never knew to begin with) that lasting personal joy is not necessarily found the way the world says it is--through reaching a certain socioeconomic status, having a certain job, buying a certain house, or having a certain amount in one's bank account. In fact, says Kristen Welch, popular blogger and author of Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World, personal satisfaction comes not from grabbing onto things but from holding them with an open hand and, very often, giving them away."  Find more from Kristen at We Are That Family.

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Please leave a comment here or on Instagram at Sally.Clarkson to enter today's giveaway! What do you find most difficult about raising your own children with a heart to change their world?

Lifegiving Parent Podcast Series: Jennifer Fulwiler

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What fun to talk with Jennifer Fulwiler this week!  Jennifer is a radio host on SiriusXM, bestselling author, speaker, and mother of six. She says she's doing her best to live without limits, without guilt, and without much sleep, and adds ...

"My latest book, One Beautiful Dream, is about how to love and appreciate who you are, even if you’re imperfect (which we all are). In it, I detail the struggles I went through as I tried to find how to use my God-given gifts while still putting my family first. I even giggled out loud when I read the first chapter because it was so real to me. 

"My “me time” is my two-hour daily radio show, The Jennifer Fulwiler Show. I also chronicle my daily experiences on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, where I post about severed doll heads and the complexity of life. I’ve been a guest on Huffington Post Live, Fox and Friends, and other national television shows, which taught me it is extremely important to have a professional blow-out if you’re going to be anywhere near television camera lights. A crazy religious awakening in 2007 inspired me to start blogging about my adventures and mishaps in spirituality, which eventually led to my first book, Something Other than God."

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"I live in Austin, Texas, with my family of eight and 130-pound dog. My love language is being left alone in silent rooms."

Now you know why we had such a great time talking! Be sure to leave a comment here or at my instagram page: Sally.Clarkson to enter to win a copy of Jen's book, One Beautiful Dream.

Find Jennifer at her blog, here: Jennifer Fulwiler . I hope you'll enjoy listening to our podcast today!

Lifegiving Parent Podcast Series: Randall Goodgame

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Randall Goodgame sat with us at our dining room table in Colorado and we talked for hours into the evening about our ideals and philosophy of life, parenting, artistry and more. What fun it is to have such inspiring friends. 

 Randall believes songs are one of God's powerful tools for building strong relationships. When songs inspire laughter or deep spiritual thought, they can transform a routine car ride into a sweet family experience. Over time, that influence can profoundly impact the culture of the home.

In his ministry Slugs & Bugs, Randall aims to write those songs. He wants families to sing together, laugh together, and think deeply together about the meaning of life and the nature of God. He believes those shared experiences will translate into stronger relationships in the family and a deeper understanding of their relationship with Jesus.

We are so thrilled Randall is offering Slugs and Bugs newest version, Sing the Bible 3, for a giveaway today! He will give away four copies. To be entered to win, please either leave a comment here, or on Facebook, or on Instagram, and make sure to tag a friend in your comment. Both of you will be entered to win a CD for each of you!

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Sing the Bible with Slugs & Bugs Volume 3, the latest release in renowned family entertainer Randall Goodgame's critically-acclaimed word-for-word Scripture series, bows April 27. Produced by Ben Shive (Rend Collective, MercyMe), Sing the Bible Volume 3 features contributions from such award-winning singer/songwriters as Bart Millard (MercyMe), Mike Weaver (Big Daddy Weave), Sara Groves and Andrew Peterson; as well as acclaimed hip-hop and spoken-word recording artist Propaganda and New York Times bestselling author Sally Lloyd-Jones, among others.

Find Randall and his wonderful products on Instagram at Slugs and Bugs and his website here: Slugs and Bugs