Tea Time Tuesdays, What Do You Think?

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Won’t you join me for a cup of tea?

“A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

In two days, I will risk the impossible and climb into a bird like machine, fly over the ocean and land in a mysterious place filled with Kings and Queens, thousands of miles of walking trails, tales spun by some of the finest writers throughout history, and of course tea. I will be landing in London, driving to Oxford where my fairy house, a special cozy home provided by the Lord, is waiting for me.

On Saturdays, I have been leaving a chronicle of my week in photos. I wondered if it might be fun to have you join me with a cuppa something wonderful and warm, (tea, chai, coffee, cider) and sit for just a few minutes over calm, comfort, friendship and encouragement. I may try this unless I just decide I can’t do it because I am caught in a wild forest somewhere in England. Let me know what you think.

In these times, I hope to be sharing what I am eating, reading, doing, thinking and some of my favorite Bible passages I have been reading.

This week, in my podcast, I will share a book, some thoughts I have been thinking, one of my favorite treats awaiting me, some scripture and life.

*Book: The Paris Library by Janet Skeslien Charles

*Scripture about Listening to God, Watching His ways, Studying His Word—Proverbs 8:34; and more

*Love and accept all people as much as possible—it is what Christ did. (I once was lost, but now I see).

*Sour Dough Bread—good for you and your gut

This week, give it your all, engage in what matters, make choices that are in the direction of truth, excellence and health.

Like as now—read this book. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”

―Charles Dickens,A Tale of Two Cities

Let me know what you think.

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Loving Your Imperfect Children & Others Who Need It

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

~Romans 5:8

It is such a gift to know we are loved.

One day, I was playing with Darcy Dog and throwing her the ball, scratching her back relentlessly, feeding her. As I was pondering her, I realized that she made messes, chewed up things around our home, had accidents on the carpet, barked at deer and woke us up at nights. Yet, no matter what she did, I accepted her limitations. We never expected her to behave to perfection. We love her ridiculously. As I was playing with her, it was as though God inspired a thought. “That is how I feel about you. I absolutely love you through and through and find pleasure in you because you are mine. Even when you mess up, make demands, need my constant attention—I love you as you are, every day, all they time.

The first time I really came to understand that God loved me with no demands, no expectations, no wrinkled brow over disappointed eyes, it was such a relief. I remember the great sense of relief and gratitude that overwhelmed me after so many years of striving and feeling like I could never measure up to anyone’s standards—not even my own. Finding that I was completely known and completely accepted by God won my heart completely and set my intention to serve Him forever.

As mamas, we must view our children as God views us—we love them because they are our very own. Many of us find that our children were not as we expected. We love them, but as mamas, we see different personalities, iimmature behavior, inability at times to sleep and all sorts of issues that tax us. And sometimes it is just the noise, the personality differences that rub us raw. Like us, they are messy.

But we know that all of our children, need a foundation of unconditional love as we do, no matter the issues. A child who knows he is loved will have a foundation that allows for growth as well as movement, as he doesn’t have to spend energy or time on striving for acceptance. Love settles the heart, offering warmth and light that encourages giftings and talents to grow strong and straight. Of course, our children know they have flaws and imperfections, that they stumble and choose unwisely at times. It’s in those times our love is most needed, as their own disappointment as well as flares of accusation from the enemy may tempt them to give up or sink into self-judgment. A mama who reaches out in love when a child expects condemnation will not only combat that tendency, but paint a powerful picture of the good shepherd’s always-reaching love in her child’s heart. That goes for older “children,” too!

Of course, we will probably have to make progress in admitting and accepting our own imperfections as well as God’s forgiveness of our personal sin if we are to offer this sort of unconditional love to our children. We can only pass on what we have learned for ourselves, and so we must dedicate ourselves to growing closer to the Lord and coming to know His love. It is the work of a lifetime—the best sort of work anyone could ever pursue.

I hope you will enjoy and be encouraged by today’s conversation with Misty Krasawski as we discuss loving our own imperfect children!

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Sometimes the Favorite is the One Who's Most Broken

“Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.

Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. 

Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.

Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you and insult you

and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man.

Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy 

because great is your reward in heaven. "

-Luke 6:20-23

It always blows me away that our God has such a compassionate, loving heart. He counts each of our tears, keeps a record of our heartaches, knows our battles, and cares deeply for all of our hurts. Not only does God love those who face trials, but He favors them.

It is easy for us to misunderstand the idea of God favoring any of us. We all wish to be His favorite and hope that He understands us, but often we shrink back as though he is somehow put off by our inability to be perfect. As a mother, you have probably at one point or another had your children ask which child is your "favorite." Of course, we don't have a favorite child. We love all of our children so very deeply, and our love for each of them is unique, as no two children will be the same.

However, think back to a time when one of your children was really sick. Possibly battling a bad cold, the flu, a stomach virus, or maybe something even more severe. When you have a sick child in your home, where is the majority of your attention placed? Who are your eyes glued to? Where is your heart's love and concern? Our immediate attention favors the child in need. This doesn't mean that we have a favorite child, and it does not diminish our love for the other sweet ones in the home. It simply means that we must focus in on the broken child.

God is the same toward us.

When you are struggling financially and don't know how your family will make it through, God is favoring you, because you need his special attention and care. When you are hungry (physically, emotionally, or spiritually), God is waiting to bless you, because as a good Father, He wants to meet your needs and care for you. When you are weeping, God is weeping with you and He is anticipating the day when you will laugh again. When your heart is broken, God's eyes are focusing in on you.

Don't become overwhelmed and consumed by fear in the midst of your difficulty, but remember that God is favoring His broken children.

And understand, He will never, ever forget you, no matter what. As Isaiah tells us:

Can a woman forget her nursing child and have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you. Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands.

~Isaiah 49:15-16

God favors you, because you are His, and His heart is towards His own.

God favors us and cares for us, even when we fail, because it is the sick who need a physician, and so He will always be deeply concerned about our welfare. Today, He has His eye on you, and if you are broken, He is there to care for His child who is ailing. His eye is on His child in need. Look to Him to care for you as a mother cares for her own. He will never forget you.

We Choose to be Patient: Our 24 Family Ways #19

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Way #19:

WE CHOOSE TO BE PATIENT, EVEN WHEN WE FEEL LIKE GETTING OUR OWN WAY.

Memory Verse: "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who captures a city." ~Proverbs 16:32

Gnarly branches twist and turn all around the trunk of the mysterious ancient tree that whispered to us of ancient, untold stories. It held in its branches the mystique of the generations it had witnessed, now hidden from our sight.  As it stood in a cattle tank and was naturally well-watered, it knew intimately the lives of those who had lived all these years in the 75-year-old farm house standing nearby. Majestic in the hidden brush of some property our family owns right in the middle of Texas, it was a hiking destination on many evening walks. Most of the trees on our 200 acres are small scrub oak, but this was the grand daddy of all the trees! When the kids and Clay and I first discovered it for ourselves, we could not believe how amazingly large it was. With our whole family holding hands around the tree, we could not even totally enclose its circumference.

If only this tree could talk! It has grown and given shade to many people through the years. Yet even this gigantic tree started out as a little sprig, with all the potential of becoming large, old, and grand hidden within its very inception. It took a very, very long time for that potential to become actual. This tree grew through storms, drought, tornadoes, and lightning. It has a story to tell now, since it has lasted longer than all of the other trees that began when it did.

As I have been reflecting on my life, I see that God has taken all of the years and made them fruitful and productive. Most days, I could not see the growth. Yet God was building a legacy through our family, our children, our ministry, and our writing and speaking--each day lived and invested one day at a time, as we prayerfully hoped that our faithfulness mattered.

There were seemingly desolate times of illness, loneliness, financial issues, emotional hurts, and separation from others that broke our hearts. And yet, God kept saying daily in our quiet times,

"Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD." Psalm 27: 14

There just don’t seem to be any verses that say, "Give up now--this is the time." or, "Don't be patient with those immature, irrational people in your life--you deserve to quit since life is hard!"

Quite the contrary--verse after verse tells us to wait, hope, work, be steadfast, and cultivate faithfulness--to just wait and be patient and we will see God work.

God, by allowing us to wait, is building faith, leadership, spiritual muscle, and maturity into our lives.

Patience is learned moment by moment in irritating circumstances.

It is learned through seasons--(terrible twos, tricky teens, hormonal middle age, old age senility). Teaching your child little by little to be patient, to control His spirit, to exercise self-control, is training your child to learn to wait on God.

Contemporary culture gives us permission to compromise at every point--marriage, commitments, ideals, friendship. We want instant gratification; we are the generation of "I want it now." Yet, God's will is to build the character of Christ in us and His way is to teach us to wait--to rule over our emotions, and to be still and know that He is God.

Patience leads to all sorts of strength--spiritual, mental, physical, skill acquisition, musical accomplishment, athletic strength, academic prowess, financial security—so many blessings come through learning to be patient. In the end, the man of medium skill and talent who perseveres is of much greater long term value than the talented, skillful person who quits and gives up.

So as we approach this important way, we must look for all sorts of ways to underline the importance of patience. As you instruct your children in this important virtue, you must be patient, too, as it takes them time to learn this character strength!

In what areas do you find it most difficult to be patient?

I am not naturally patient. I wasted many precious seasons of my life wishing them away, someone thinking the next season would be easier. God taught me slowly. Now, I seek more to pace myself and to see each miracle each day. It is still not easy as I am a "fast-paced" person, but I just wish I had not wasted so much time trying to hurry things that needed time to grow, and just enjoyed the process more.

God is with you, God is building you and your children, and God will be faithful when you wait on Him.

Our 24 Family Ways: A Family Devotional Guide

By Clarkson, Clay

There Are No Perfect Families!

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.

1 John 2:1

It’s been such an interesting week around here! While my healing continues and I’m still using two crutches to move from place to place most of the time, I welcomed a troop of people to my home for an upcoming book project I can’t wait to share with you (but must keep under wraps for now!) There was decorating and wardrobe-choosing and feasting, and in between takes and snatches of sleep, Misty Krasawski and I squeezed in recordings of some of our discussions regarding topics dear to both our hearts.

She said to me at one point, “You know, years ago I was searching the scriptures to see who I might look to as a model of a perfect family. I searched the Old Testament … nothing. Then I checked the new, and not even Jesus’ family was perfect—his own siblings didn’t believe in Him! There really are no perfect families, which makes sense since there are no perfect people!”

Even more interesting was that God did not include a picture of a perfect family in scripture because He did not hold us to this standard. He says, “I am mindful that you are but dust.” Yet, family is the gift He designed for us so that we would have a people to belong to, a place to find comfort, love and stability. Family is the place the story is told of legacy and heritage.

We all feel pressure to measure up to vague ideals of perfection, and this happens in family life, too. Too often, we compare ourselves to others we think have it more together. But the truth is we are all broken in some way, but family can be the healing place—the place where we see God’s grace grow and flourish. And in giving grace to our children, they will always find a haven of acceptance because they will learn that when they fail or show their flaws as we have done, they will receive compassion, sympathy, forgiveness and a way forward. I hope our conversation today helps you feel better about your own gloriously flawed family, too!

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

More Resources:

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

0 Likes

Becoming a Source of Light in a Dark World

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

John 8: 12

Searching for images of light is a sort of life commitment of mine. Last week, I was sitting in my living room and looked out the window and saw the light of the sun reflecting on all of the trees, the leaves, the whole yard as it turned on fire.

We are living in dark times. Many people I talk to say they feel fearful of the future, feel the weight of discord amongst friends, have deep emotional responses to what they read on the news.

What if each of us determined to leave light to everyone we came across, to our children, to our friends and husband. But to do that, we must be in an intimate relationship to the true source of light, Christ.

Are there negative things that creep into my life? Discouragement, exhaustion, feelings of inadequacy or even blame and a critical attitude creep in from time to time. But, because it was my commitment to grow in light places and messages, I have grown to see the darkness when it wants to creep in and I close the door, do not let it in and seek to move my heart and thoughts to the beautiful power or energy of the light of Christ. He said, “The people who were walking in darkness have seen a great light.”

The disciples who followed hard after Christ came mostly from the cross section of common people. Oppressed by the constant cruelty and rule of the Roman soldiers, mostly poor because of the high taxes that were exacted from them each year; oppressed by the legalism and demands of the Pharisee led faith system. In short, they were “sheep without a shepherd.”

Imagine the fire that was lit in their hearts when Jesus brought them onto a mountain top with him, seeking to deeply encourage his closest companions and friends. He looked them in the eye and said, “You are the light of the world.” His words elevated their sense of worth. Do you speak words that elevate your children’s sense of worth—they are the light, the goodness, the beauty that God has chosen to bring to this world at this time.

These words must have struck them profoundly. Us? We are common. We do not matter in the scheme of things. We are just common—but Jesus’s words lifted them in importance, in purpose—you, you followers of mine—you are the ones who bring the light of God’s love and truth and beauty into the reality of the lives of others who long to have comfort, forgiveness, help, truth.

Join me today as we pursue this theme in my podcast.

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Maybe You Should Start a MomHeart Group!

How might you imagine God could use you, in the power of the Holy Spirit, to change your part of the world for eternity?

God is so good and He sends grace when we ask Him to work in our lives. Eight years ago, I was feeling lonely and unsupported in my stage of life. I knew that fellowship was what I needed, but I didn't know of a group or Bible study where I would find like-minded friends.

So, as I had learned many other times, if I wanted a group, I knew would have to start it!

And so I put out an announcement to all the people I knew from various activities and invited moms in for a Bible study, snacks, and friendship at my home once a month.

In the first year or so, my little group grew to become a roomful. We started at 6:30 and shared snacks and talked and talked. Then we did introductions to find out where everyone came from. A chapter discussed from one of my books, discussion of the verses in the back of the book, prayer, and more talking followed. Sometimes I would say goodnight and go upstairs to bed at 11:00, and still mamas would stay and talk with each other!

Eventually, we ran out of room in my living room, dining room, and entrance hall combination, and finally people started sitting all the way up our front stairway!

These were the sweet women in my life, many who became my closest friends. So fun and sweet. I loved having them in my home. At one point, we had about 70-90 coming regularly at a time! Our largest group was 180—don’t ask how we managed—we just all sat close! That meant lots of cars. Finally, the police came to my door and said, "If there are this many cars again, we will have to fine you $1000.” Whoops!

So, we approached our church and said, "Could we begin a mom's Bible study at church by hosting my home Bible study there and asking if anyone else is interested?"

When we held our first meeting, 260 women showed up! We made circles of chairs and placed moms at tables, so everyone could have a small group of women to meet and talk with.

I have written 24 books that can be used as a basis for discussion and learning in a small group-it’s what we call Mom Heart Groups.

What about you? Do you have community already? So many people are missing it, but haven’t stepped out to try creating one on their own—and this has always been key in my life. Perhaps you’d like to start a Momheart group! Just pick up one of my books, invite some people over who are interested in friendship and reading, and make a pot of tea and maybe some cookies. Sometimes people are just waiting to be asked. You never know what God might do if you take initiative, step out in faith and see how He may use you to change your world. Everyone needs a support group. How about this fall?

Clay and I wrote Taking Motherhood to Hearts, a book to help moms run their groups — you can order your copy below!

Taking Motherhood to Hearts: A Guide to Starting, Leading, and Tending Your Mom Heart Group

By Clarkson, Sally, Clarkson, Clay

Buy on Amazon

We Choose to be Peacemakers: Our 24 Family Ways #18

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Way # 18 We choose to be peacemakers, even when we feel like arguing!

MEMORY VERSE:

“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.” ~James 3:17

As a young missionary in Communist countries many years ago, I cut my teeth on discipleship, "making disciples of all nations", learning to live by faith in a very foreign place, and holding fast to my Bible. One of my surprises, however, was the prevalence of conflict and issues, at times amongst the missionaries themselves.

Young and unseasoned, I believed that if someone was brave and courageous enough to go into the mission field, they would probably be "superhuman" and surely super-spiritual! And yet, living overseas can be so very stressful that it magnifies difficulties. This was the place I began to learn the importance of peacemaking, when disharmony and discord infiltrated the relationships on my staff team. Most were maturing believers, but all were in need of the mercy and grace of God. Discord of large proportions could disrupt our unity, causing multiple issues.

Fighting, warring, and arguing are some of the foundational evidences that this world is separated from God. We war against each other as countries, but also as individuals, because we are self-centered, focussed on our own agenda and our own well-being as opposed to focusing on serving and bringing harmony to others. Do not be surprised by relational conflict; it is a mark of the fallen world. As believers, we are called to redeem broken places.

You will notice in this particular set of four rules that each begins with, "We choose."

It is a choice of our will, an obedience of conscience where we serve God by doing what is right. Maturity in Christ is learning to do what is right because righteousness is deeply instilled in the pathways of our minds and hearts. When we have memorized God's word and wisdom principles, when we later encounter animosity (and we surely will, daily) our minds will already have a truth to go to so that we can behave as Christ would have us behave. Truth, understanding, and obedience are partners in peacemaking.

Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God." Matthew 5:19

What a defining verse! By becoming peacemakers, we will be observed to be God's sons (and daughters). But the verse also implies that peace is not easy--it is a "work" of life--something that must be made.

Every relationship, by definition, is between two selfish people! The question in relationship struggles is not who is right, but who will make peace, give grace, and forgive. Making peace starts inside, with a decision that says, "I can become a vehicle to bring peace and to restore this relationship if I am willing to humble myself and reach out."

Whether in the setting of marriage, friendship, family, with colleagues, or as parents, peacemaking—the act of choosing to reach out in the work of restoration—comes from a heart that worships God.

 We gently, consistently, peacefully, instruct our children in becoming peacemakers. We teach them that there is a cost to making peace with others--the cost of bowing our own hearts to our pride and becoming willing to serve the one with whom we have conflict.

Humbling ourselves brings the possibility of unity and restoration as we admit our ability to fail and disappoint. We must show our children, by our own kindness, that humility is the bridge to making peace.

The memory verse this week is profound. God's wisdom--insight and understandable truth--is pure, peaceable and gentle. May the Holy Spirit quicken our hearts to obey and practice this truth, that we might bridge the gaps in our relationships with the love of God.

Are there any relationships God is pressing on your heart that you need to restore?

Is there anything keeping you from making peace with those who are in conflict with you? Do you need to humble yourself or forgive the other person? If I have learned anything from the heart of Jesus, it is that when I choose to obey what He shows me in His word, ultimately it brings me peace and deep joy. I do not have to carry hate or bitterness--He will relieve me from them when I accept His will for me to make peace.

Teach words of peacemaking:

I'm sorry. 

I was wrong.

I forgive you. 

I love you. 

How can I help you believe that I am really sorry?

I understand.

And remember today, that God offers peace to you.

Our 24 Family Ways: A Family Devotional Guide

By Clarkson, Clay

Seasons Remembered, Seasons Celebrated

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

When we moved into this house, I mused to my children, “See that tiny aspen tree in front of the house? Someday, it will be tall and filled with shimmering leaves that will delight us to our tiptoes. And we will watch it turn golden. Its golden leaves will slowly dance down as snow falling upon our grass. Then we will be amazed at its beauty and how it grew through all the years.”

Now, the tree does dance in the breeze. Joy was just a young teen then. Now she is a grown woman foraying out into her world of writing, speaking, teaching in places far from home. Sixteen years passed in the blink of an eye. Just like the years my children and I sat in my living room with each season, delighted at the beauty. And just so, my children all grew and changed and found their own seasons of beauty and growth as they went into the world.

As a young mama, I never knew how deeply connected and loved I would feel by these children now my deepest and very best friends, grown up. I didn’t understand how beautiful God’s design for family, that it would be the place that held us, shaped us, defined us, grew us into a tight community.

On her last afternoon, Joy and I sat, sipped tea, listened to the music and watched our leaves gently dance to the ground as the breezes played with the delicate pieces of gold. Now when I know the seasons pass swiftly, I cherish every minute I have with her, with my other precious ones, and thank God for all the years and what He was weaving into my life as the greatest blessing I would experience here on earth—belonging to my people, being safe in their friendship.

I wish I had known not to dispose the day of small things when our friendship was just being formed, the days of singing them to sleep, of reading stories together, of feasting on home-cooked meals, of sharing the birthdays and Christmases, tea times and talks.

Today, sweet mama, you are building a gift of love for yourself that will bless you your whole life. Cherish this season with your precious ones and watch it grow into something beautiful.

Join my lovely friend, Misty, as we speak of the treasure of shaping your own best friends day by day.

Answering Gently to Calm Even the Hottest Tempers

“A gentle answer turns away wrath. But harsh words make tempers flare.” Proverbs 15:1

 Standing in the hallway of the hotel where we were hosting our mom’s conference, I noticed a sweet mama who looked as though she was at the end of her rope. Holding a several-months-old baby, who was arching his little back and crying as though his heart would break, she looked beside herself.

I offered to hold her little one so she could have a tiny break. Sure enough, he would begin to quiet and then something, probably a little gurgly tummy, would cause him to begin to wail once again. I held him up so his cheek was touching mine, with my mouth aimed toward his little ear.

Softly, I began to talk to him. Then, I sang the song I had so often sung to my own children: “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,” very softly and gently. He would quiet down for a few moments, and then another cry would begin. I said to him very softly, “You are not alone, you are so very precious, you are a darling boy,” lyrically, holding his soft cheek so he could feel mine. Each time my voice started, his little eyes got big and he would quiet.

Suddenly, he fell fast asleep.

Whether my children were young and tiny, or older and in a snit, if I wrapped my demeanor, by my will, in softness and gentleness and answered their anger in a gentle voice, with non-accusing eyes, they were more likely to listen to me and respond calmly.

The message I wanted to get across was, “I understand you are feeling frustrated or angry, but I want to listen to you and understand what you are saying so that I can help you.”

Angry words answered with a loud voice and accusation just adds fuel to the flame of anger. Gentleness and sympathy puts water on the fire of someone’s angry heart, and soothes the frustrated feelings.. Once I had this scripture in my head and learned to use it in many relationship situations, I saw how effective this piece of wisdom was, because all of us desire in our frustration to be honored.

There is no absolute solution or formula to calming an angry quarrel. Yet, this bit of wisdom from Proverbs has often saved the moment for my family.

A hormonal teen, an exhausted toddler, a school-aged child, or a husband who is angry—all of these, long to be treated with focused attention, an understanding heart, and a loving response.

As we all know, it is natural to react with a mirroring quality—anger to anger. However, it is from the Spirit of Him who is Love that leads us to react in love. As the Spirit lives through us, we will see His power and fruit drawing others to Him in us when we choose to remember bits of truth he has left for us to follow. A gentle answer, turns away anger. It really does!

Gentleness grows stronger with practice. It comes with humility. It grows as wisdom and takes root in the heart that values the ones she loves. May God grant us to become gentle in our love, that others may see Him through us.