All Relationships Are Fraught

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“Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.”

-I Peter 4:8

All relationships are fraught. People are irritating. The demands of parenting and marriage and friendship are challenging. One of the most consistent ways we observe the fallenness of humans in our world is in their inability to love one another, to get along, to have peace and understanding. Our sin nature causes us to see the world and people from our own eyes, our own perspective. We justify our attitudes because we suppose we are right, even when we are imperfect.

This propensity to have conflict shows itself in war, marriage, parenting, friendship, work. One of the realities of this “fallen relationship” principle is that no natter how we try, no matter how kind we think we are being, we cannot please all people—or children or spouses or friends. If we are too quiet and introverted we will bring judgement from some. If we are too extraverted, we will surely be disliked by some. Try as I may, just being “me” bothers some people. And it is the same with you.

For this reason, it is helpful to understand that before you ever get to some people, they are already predisposed not to be loving, or to make the effort to reach out or to “like” you. It is a “them” problem—don’t take it on.

Yet, to love, in spite of other’s flaws, is truly a remarkable act of believers who allow the Holy Spirit to love others, in spite of or in whatever way they have offended or disappointed me.

“Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.” -Prov. 17:9

This is why as believers, we need to understand the principle of unconditional love. It is natural to disdain or criticize people—it is supernatural to love, to forgive, to be patient.

Paul reminds us, “Love is patient, love is kind,”

The Holy Spirit teaches us little by little to practice gracious responses, to speak with a gentle voice, to heal broken relationships, to move forward in unconditional love.

Why do we pursue love, practice loving the unlovable, give grace?

We love because He first loved us. I John 4:19 Jesus is our model for relationships.

Even on the cross, “and while being abusively insulted, He did not insult in return; while suffering, He did not threaten, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously,:” I Peter 2:23

We will never be perfect in love, but we practice love as a service of worship to God, because He tells us to, because He loves us even though we do not deserve it.

Today, practice love because you want to please the heart of Jesus. And know you are not alone if you have struggled with loving someone dear to you—that is natural. But He will teach you to love and that will show His reality to others in your life.

Bear With One Another

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“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

-Col. 1: 13

While visiting overseas, I cherished time with a friend from my missionary years. Tears streaming down her face, my friend said, “I can't seem to let go of the things my ‘supposed’ friend did to hurt me. She told lies about me, manipulated me. I was so gullible because she quoted Bible verses, acted like she was a strong Christian. I have tried to forgive her, but my bitterness against her takes up so much brain space. I just can't seem to get over all the ways she hurt me. I rehearse it over and over again in my mind.”

People disappointing people is common in this day and time. So often, I find more people in my life who have been emotionally injured by those who call themselves “Christians” but do not live by biblical principles. A woman whose husband is addicted to pornography or has had an affair; a parent or relative who has been abusive or harsh; a friend who has rejected; kids who have rejected or harmed our children, a pastor or leader who has fallen to immorality and the list goes on and on. This a picture of our broken world and the fallenness of people.

All of us will be offended by many people in our lifetime. And, all of us make mistakes and act in immature ways. We lose our temper. We are selfish and want the best or biggest piece of cake. We become angry over petty issues. We break someone else's toy, so to speak.

No matter how hard any of us try, we will always always be flawed and eventually fall short of someone's expectations and disappoint those who love us. Or we will be sorely disappointed by many people.

Unless we learn to give these wounds into the file drawer of heaven, to allow Christ to take these burdens of heart for us, we will be overwhelmed by a shadow of bitterness, anger or disappointment.

That is why forgiveness is so very essential to the message of Christ. Join me on my podcast today: At Home With Sally

Tea Time Tuesday: Hospitality: Serving the Least of These Pleases Jesus

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“And the King will answer them, Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” - Matthew 25:40

Tea Time Tuesday: Tending to the hearts of the “least of these” is what pleases Jesus. We are His hands, voice, and touch to those He has trusted into our care. Don’t despise the day of small things—it will pass so fast! You, like me, will find yourself longing for the “good old days."

My adult children have become occupied with their own busy lives, it is harder to bring them all together. Yet, recently as yet another birthday approached, I asked one of my daughters, “Would you like for me to spoil you and take you out to breakfast for a girl’s time to celebrate your birthday?” Her answer surprised me.

“What I would really like is to have an old traditional Clarkson family breakfast with all of us who can make it, to eat cheesy eggs, your homemade cinnamon rolls, and be together, celebrate our friendship. That’s what I want the most.”

I look at all of the years of raising my children. The cherished table times and moments together are where we became best friends. This is the best gift we gave. It is the thread that tied our hearts together through the years.

This table that I set was thrown together out of a habit I have learned over years. Using the resources available to me, since I don’t have a car, I had to be creative. Bringing color and beauty to our lives was one of the goals. I use thrifting to create mealtime art!

Each home where I have lived overseas has its own unique flavor. I make home whichever country I am in, celebrating every day as a gift, making sure to focus on the personal—their heart. We have very crowded tables in our homes overseas—no large dining rooms, just small places in our kitchen. I ordered dishes from eBay (8 china dinner plates for $12, candlesticks from a market for $2, a flower vase for $4, and 8 wine glasses that held juice for our breakfast for $10).

Celebrating so many birthdays before, putting together a family birthday breakfast was easy because of the practice of hosting them hundreds of times.

Join me on my Tea Time Tuesday podcast today, where I have my son Joel on to talk about his brand new album, Midsummer. Follow Joel on Insta: @joel.i.clarkson

In Quietness is Your Strength

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Have you noticed that worry and fear and anxiety steal your energy, make you exhausted, and take over your emotions and thoughts?

God says through Isaiah 30:15, “In quietness and rest will be your strength.”

In other words, we sacrifice the peace of Christ when we choose to try to take control of our circumstances or figure out how our difficulties will all work out. We wrongly think at times we are in control. But in a broken world where we are subject to our own foolishness and sin as well as the chaos of the world and other sinful people, in quietness and rest in God is our strength.

When Jesus was going through the most stressful moments he had on earth, He said to his disciples, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

“Wait on the Lord and you will gain new strength.” Isaiah

Today, my friends, live in His peace. Rest in His strength. Peace be yours, the Lord is near.

Tea Time Tuesday: Bonnie Scotland

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When You are Scottish — the sound of the pipes can put a wee spring intae yer step or bring a wee tear tae yer eye.

Tea Time Tuesday in Bonnie Scotland

Sometimes there are places that wrap their vast beauty around your heart and hold you there with a sense that you are experiencing another world. From the first time I visited St. Andrews, I was charmed, inspired, and held such a sense of belonging. Maybe my life story has a history or legacy in the past that brought great joy or fulfillment to my ancestors who lived there. But every time I must leave there, tears uninvited spring to my eyes.

Kindness and friendliness ooze from the people I know there. The sing-song accent invites me into whoever I am talking to. Today on my Tea Time Tuesday podcast, I will take you on my trip to this small town and invite you to travel for just a bit into one of my favorite places.

Pilgrimages have been made to St. Andrews, the holding place of the bones of the apostle Andrew. People longing to experience a closer relationship with God, or those with heartfelt prayer requests would walk “The Way of St. Andrews Pilgrimage” for countless miles to experience the spiritual life of the cathedral there. It was destroyed during the Scottish Reformation but still holds a historical draw today. Lots of history you can read about this.

Some of my favorite authors of children’s books come from Scotland. You’ll have to listen to my podcast to hear about them.

Scotch Eggs are a favorite of some friends of mine, and there is a favorite dish that I cannot quite bring myself to taste.

Every time I visit, I sneak by myself into the ruins of the old cathedral that has heard so many prayers and shown such gentle and strong encouragement to so many through the ages. St. Andrews encourages us to leave a legacy of love, faith, laughter, dancing, and beauty. May you have a week filled with romance, love, laughter, dancing, and beauty this week! Do you have a favorite place that brings soul-deep joy to your heart?

Sacred Celebrations

There is something sacred about life celebrations. To underline and commemorate a life accomplishment or joy gives it weight, adds importance. Celebrations live in the hearts, minds, souls of the one celebrated for a lifetime and gives hope and courage when hard times come.

Last weekend, some of our family was able to travel up to bonnie Scotland to watch our son Joel receive his Doctoral Degree in theology. To wear the robes, to walk the stage, to be bopped, (a St Andrews tradition) to be honored by the wise and seasoned professors surrounding his studies, is an accomplishment worth lots of celebration.

Part of the joy was talking with his friends and professors, eating feasts of delicious food together, chatting and laughing about the “old times,” when interest in theology developed around our dinner table discussions, and just life. Reminiscing about all the moments of the journey and just being happy together was a highlight for this mama. I just love being with all and any of my children together.

I am so very proud of wonderful Joel. I can hardly believe he has his doctorate. I think any great task or accomplishment in life isn’t just about finishing it, but it is about the character that grows inside when a person has to be self-disciplined, self-motivated, diligent to work hard when no one is around to prompt such work. Learning to strain in the virtues of courage, endurance, confidence when the tough seasons come and whisper, “You will never finish this!”

And yet, to keep going with fortitude is part of the prize. What a joy it has been in retrospect to see how consistently Joel manifested these attributes through the years of study. In reality, like Jesus, he has grown in wisdom, stature, in favor with God and man. I am so honored to celebrate him and to know him as one of the best men I have ever known. Congratulations my wonderful Joel.

The Lifegiving Home Book Club Kicks Off Next Week!

Each day I receive letters from women all over the world who are over-burdened, overwhelmed, and exhausted. “Sally,” they write, “I would love to light candles at dinner and have relaxing tea times and invite people into our home but that just isn't practical for our family. I believe in the ideals you write about but I just can't figure out how to get there.”

One of the most surprising, yet deeply fulfilling ventures of my life was the gratification of turning my home into a place that breathes life, inspiration, love and faith. But I had to learn how to shape my home over years. 

This summer, as we welcome a new season with a slower pace, I wanted to come alongside you as we work through The Lifegiving Home book in my Life With Sally Membership. Not only will you be inspired by the ideals in the book, you will learn how to practically apply them to your daily life, no matter your life stage or home situation.

Through this book club, we will work through what it means to create a space that supports joyful, vibrant, productive living and supports growth of body, soul, and spirit. If we look at the lovely world God designed for us, we can see a pattern for what He always intended for us: a home environment filled with color and creativity and order, a welcoming provider of laughter and refuge, a space where memories are made and shared. 

My friends, remember this: building well is a long process. Creating a lifegiving home is a long process taken one step and one season at a time. This summer, are you ready to take a small step forward in creating the lifegiving home you and your family's heart has longed for?

When does the book club start?

The book club will officially kick off on Wednesday, June 21st with the first week's email sent straight to your inbox! It will be seven weeks long and wrap up August 2nd. 

Does the book club cost anything?

No, the book club is a free benefit for all Life With Sally members! If you aren't a member of Life With Sally, you can join by clicking here! 

Where is the discussion happening? I'm not on social media! 

The discussion for the book will be happening on the Life With Sally forum and you will get a link to the discussion thread in each weekly email. 

How does the book club work?

Every Wednesday, starting June 21st, you will receive an email that has two (or so) chapters to read from The Lifegiving Home covering topics like:

• Creating lifegiving rhythm and routines

• Discovering the heartbeat and vision of a Godly home

• How to show love to all who enter our home as servant leaders

• How to build a fun and faithful family culture

…and so much more! We will dive into those topics in the email and include special resources to help you break down the ideas, inspiration, and principles of the book into small, actionable steps that you can implement in your own home. These special resources can include anything from a guided workbook or journal to podcast episodes, Life With Sally content, recipes, or videos. You will also receive a link to that week's discussion thread on the Life With Sally forum where you can unpack all you've learned and swap stories, inspiration, or ideas with other like-minded moms. 

How to access the book club if you are a member of Life With Sally

• Every Wednesday morning, you will receive an email with the assigned reading, special resources, discussion questions, and a link to the book discussion happening on the Life With Sally forum!

• If you have not received the email (or lost in your inbox), you can log into your account at www.lifewithsally.com and just beneath the new content for June, you will see a button to access that week’s book club content!

How to access the book club if you are NOT a member of Life With Sally

• To receive access to the book club, you will first need to join the Life With Sally Membership by CLICKING HERE.

• Once you are a member, every Wednesday morning, you will receive an email with the assigned reading, special resources, discussion questions, and a link to the book discussion happening on the Life With Sally forum!

• If you have not received the email (or lost in your inbox), you can log into your account at www.lifewithsally.com and just beneath the new content for June, you will see a button to access that week’s book club content!

If you have any questions or need help, please reach out to LWSBookClub@gmail.com!

Tea Time Tuesday: A More Excellent Way

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“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.”

-Hebrews 12:1 NLT

Our culture is in great need of heroes, stories with sacrificial endings, and inspiring lives of those who strain after all that is good, beautiful, and true. I consider my work of faithfulness a success when, in hidden moments of life, I hear and see my children making hard choices—the choice to work hard to pay bills, the choice to be moral and cultivate integrity in a world that gives permission to compromise, the decision to stay faithful in places the world or others would say "give up."

We live in a mediocre culture. The voices of our culture in this contemporary world will almost always give you permission to compromise your ideals, give up on commitments, escape the hard work, go the easy route. “Oh, they will be just fine—don’t interfere too much.”

But, there are not many examples of people to whom you can point your children and say:

“Look at that person—they have worked hard, sacrificed their lives, accomplished something great in this world!”

We need to say to our children, "I believe God has designed you to give something great to your generation in your lifetime!”

I am convinced that if we women understood that we have a capacity to work a little harder, give more, and cultivate more intentionally, we would indeed be able to see greatness of soul, depth of faith arise out of our children’s lives. Nothing truly great is ever accomplished without great effort. We are, after all, charged with subduing a world that is in rebellion against God. By investing more time in our children, we are helping them mount up over inertia, laziness, bad habits, and self-centeredness, and giving them practice at developing good habits, skills, and abilities—all of which need to be intentionally nurtured, taught, modeled, and trained into them by their parents!

Hear more on my podcast today about His excellence through us. He is our source of strength.

Obedience: The Action of Authentic Faith

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“Mama, why do I have to obey you and Daddy? Who said you were the ones who were right?” (From one of my children who wanted to do something they knew we didn’t allow).

Obedience is the action of authentic faith; “Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

I often said to them, “God loves us so much that He gives us principles of wisdom that teach us what is right and wrong, what will lead us to a happy and productive life. God protects us by making painful mistakes in our lives by giving us instruction. But parents are God’s representatives to teach you how to obey Him. If you learn to obey us, you will be able to obey God when you are an adult and you are alone with out a mama and daddy to tell you what is the wisest thing to do in life. Mama and Daddy are God’s representatives to help our precious children learn to love wisdom, how to be wise in life. You practice with us so that you will be ready to follow God’s leading when we are not there to help.”

Many years ago as a new believer, I did a big, broad study on obedience in the Bible. We cannot please God unless we cultivate a heart that wants to obey Him. Jesus says if we love Him, we will obey him. It is not about being religious, or works oriented, or “churchy.” It is about having a heart to ponder His words and stories, His ways that He dealt with people, His love and then do what we can to obey His heart lessons. We grow little by little as we strength our muscle to obey, even when it is a challenge. Without a heart to do what God tells us to do, we cannot please Him.

To obey means to act according what you have been asked or ordered to do by someone in authority, or to behave according to a rule, law, or instruction. Obedience is the action of authentic faith. Jesus said, “If you love me, obey me.”

More on my podcast today: At Home With Sally

This week, I pray you will be sensitive to listen to the Holy Spirit, to obey what God tells you to do, to be a picture of His goodness, His truth, His love because of your heart to obey Him in the real and now.

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more

Tea Time Tuesday: Rest, Celebrate, and Be still

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“But indeed I would rather have nothing but tea.”

-Jane Austen

Take time for your favorite cuppa and relax a bit and enjoy Tea Time Tuesday. I have fun collecting tidbits. I also welcome more ideas of some of your favorite books, music, recipes, and stories about wonderful people. Enjoy!

As I was flipping through my photos, I came across this one. Almost a year ago, one of my favorite people in the world asked me over for a spot of tea. Cherished moments and deep friendship remind me all over again about blessed I am to have this friend. When someone invites you out of the chaos of life into a beautiful moment, it refreshes us unexpectedly.

Jane Austen shares my feeling about tea time—it is the taking time, not just the flavor of tea, that brings us peaceful moments. How many times do you think Jane Austen wrote tea time into her books? You will be surprised! It was fun for me to explore.

Today, I talk about a book for women as well as a book for children of various ages, especially middle school on up. Summer is a time to read just for fun.

This week, I not only listed a piece of music that everyone should know, but also a little bit about the composer.

A second recipe for fresh summer veggies.

And a look at why God considered that David, out of all the heroes of faith, beyond all the stories in the Old Testament, was a man after God’s heart. So much fun.

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more