Essential Joy for Flourishing

A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22

I once read an article that said science has shown that smiling increases the happy hormones in your body. If you just physically smile 10x in a row, your happy hormones kick in and replace the negative ones.

Even Solomon tells us that a joyful heart is medicine to the bones.

Learning to be responsible for your own sense of well being, your sense of contentment and the ability to thrive is one of the most foundational aspects of flourishing over a lifetime.

In my mid-mothering life when several of my children were teens, I realized I had become a bit weary and dry and grumpy—not the legacy I wanted to leave. Joy, joyfulness or rejoice (be joyful) appears 430 times in scripture. Evidently, it is quite important from God’s point of view for us to cultivate it. When a person feels “good” about life and has a sense of centered purpose and well being, they are much more likely to thrive in life.

One time, I was teary eyed from pressures and messes in our house. My son said, “Mama, please just chill. When the house is messy, we will clean it and it will get messy again. No big deal—but when you are sad, we are sad. And when you are happy, we are on top of the world.

I have realized over the years that “guarding my heart, because it is the place the well springs of my life” are coming from is essential to my maturity and success in living by ideals that require such a cost. It is essential to those in my home so that I model contentment and joy in my every day life.

Planning for the year ahead, be sure to make specific plans for your own well-being and joy. Lighten up. plan joy, to laugh, to create some deeply pleasurable experiences because it is good for our health and it gives our children emotional health and strength as well.

Input is essential, considering all the output that goes on in your life.

*I regularly find time to meet a good friend for coffee once a week—the type who you laugh with, share all things, enjoy time together.

*My morning tea, candles and music start me off well every day. (and my 10:30 coffee, and 3 o’clock tea time), quiet time, and a good book to read. Regularly writing in a gratitude journal.

*Going hiking, walking in the mountains or in Oxford with a close friend or Darcy, often..

*Rocking one of my squishy, warm grandchildren.

Little things: Dancing to music for exercise when snowing outside, lipstick, big earrings, always music everywhere all the time. Saturday morning walks on the old Victorian house streets with a bestie, sleeping in later than normal at least once a week, favorite girlie movie nights, eating out so I don’t have to cook. Sitting outside by our fireplace at nights watching the sun go down, sharing it with a friend.

What makes you joyful?

Does hidden faithfulness matter?

Cinderella  Val Princep  around 1880

"He who is faithful in small things is faithful in much."

Though Cinderella, worked faithfully and patiently, with no one to notice, there was yet a princess residing inside of her, and in time, she lived into her real heritage--becoming royalty for the rest of her life.

I love fairytales. Even fairy tales often reflect the truth of of Life.

Often, as we raise our little ones, our lives are filled with myriad tasks of nursing and rocking our children to sleep with sweet lullabies. Then there are the dirty diapers to deal with, the cries of our precious ones in the middle of the night.

Toddlers resist and we gently train them over and over again. Siblings quarrel and we teach them the ways of love, forgiveness, patience, kind words. Then there are the teen years when young adults strain to become independent and mamas have to choose to be long-suffering and pursue in love.

Year after weary year, we teach them about God's ways, His love. We subdue our homes again and again to make them a haven for life--filled with color, beauty, interest, traditions, even as God created the Garden, gave His children instruction through the Law, provided them with a land, gaven them food and protection against an army.

We labor day after day, month upon month, seeking Him to give more wisdom, renewed strength when we feel to weary to keep going. But somehow, His spirit shapes us as we shape a generation for His glory. And we are able to take one more step of obedience and pour out His unconditional love and wisdom to children who are not always aware of our sacrifice, until they are older. Yet, the seeking to give wisdom, excellence and holiness to our children builds our own souls, one day, one moment at a time. Our holiness matures and our hearts become flavored with His beauty, graciousness through each act of our own obedience given in the quiet and seclusion of our own home.

Often, we think that no one sees us, no one notices. How could it matter if we are invisible?

But, God is watching. God is building an invisible heritage that will indeed outlast our lives.

God painted the picture of patience, waiting, faithfulness through all of our years colorfully through the stories of so many in scripture:

Joseph had a dream of leading his brothers where they bowed down to him. But the training grounds of his becoming the head over all of Egypt was hard labor for a land owner, where he was accused wrongly of adultery. Then 10 more years being faithful in prison.

David was anointed to become the king of all Israel, but did not become king over both kingdoms for around 20 years of wondering in the wilderness, running away in battle after battle.

Abraham was called the Father of all Israel and promised countless generations would come from his own son, but had to wait until he was old before He became a Father of a son, who would make him the Father of the Nation Israel.

Paul was confronted by Christ on the road to Damascus, but he was secluded away for 15 years before he had a public ministry.

Mary, the mother of Jesus, was called and then lived faithfully for many, many years, only to watch her son be crucified, but then resurrected.

When I was asked to speak in China, a number of years ago, because Mission of Motherhood had been translated into the two Chinese languages, I gladly accepted. Picturing speaking in a small underground church of some sort, I prepared messages to speak to a small group of faithful believers. However, the first place I was taken by my Chinese hosts was to an auditorium of 500, packed to the gills, at the University of Beijing.

As I looked around, I realized that all of my Chinese cohorts on stage had graduated from either Harvard or MIT. In fear, I pondered in my heart, "What am I doing here? Do they know I am just an ordinary person, a mom who has homeschooled, raised her children as best I could for His glory,  and cared for my children in my home for the past 26 years."

God whispered into my heart. "I was building your message and integrity and conviction in the hidden places of your home while you raised your children. Your integrity was built in the hidden years. Now, you are qualified to speak on family, the importance of motherhood, building character, because your messages were built before me when no one else saw, but I was there."

"I planned China before you even became a mom."

"China needs someone to tell them how to value families, children, the shaping of morality, the foundations of wisdom and greatness that must be built one day at a time. Who better to train them than a mother who has raised her family on faith, Biblical wisdom and love. You are qualified because I have called you and you obeyed, by raising your children faithfully when it seemed no one was watching."

My messages and life-conviction and wisdom was built in the hidden years.

And so, who you are, the choices of faith and faithfulness you make,when no one is looking, is a picture of your integrity.

The choices of faith and love in the midst of the whirlwind of life, is shaping your story, moment by moment, day by day. Never despise the day of small things because it is the shaping of your life story that will be told for generations to come.

The value of the hidden years is priceless. Now, this moment, is the day of your potential glory, if you practice being faithful and worship Him through each tiny service of loving and raising your precious ones for the sake of His glory.

May God give you the grace to see His fingerprints in your life, the shadow of His presence in every minute of your eternal work in your home. For today is the day you are writing your story, that your children will read for many years to come.

Ask Your Question!

Photo by Lancia

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Sunday afternoon finds me, as usual, sitting on my living room couch, candles lit, tea in hand, music streaming, facing flowers and windows to my front yard-pondering this incredible week! I think everyone should have a 70th birthday week. I don’t think I have ever celebrated a birthday more or for so long—and it was very special. Thank you.

Celebrating as a family was fabulous. Then Clay (Sarah) had arranged literally bags full of cards that people from all over the world had sent to me to wish me a happy birthday. I was so very surprised—letters from many countries, from those who had been at our conferences from 23 years ago, all ages, memories galore. Many precious stories.

Truckloads of encouragement and love for me. It was amazing to look down the years of life, to remember the stunning experiences the Lord allowed us to live. There were recipes, a check as a downpayment towards a "some day" trip to Provence, gift cards, "do something for yourself" gifts. Flowers, thoughtful offerings, photos, books. If only I could write each of you a personal note or better yet, have you in my home for a heart-to-heart and cup of tea. It took me four days to read every note. I prayed for all of you. I have felt so very full of heart!

Next, some of my friends spoiled me with a lovely lunch, a crown they made me wear, a banner, and a sash! Three hours of memories and stories of when we met, and how the years have shaped us. Next a memorable dinner out with Clay.

As I look to the years ahead, I wonder how I could best invest my time and my love for all of you whose lives matter so much.

A favor, please, your responses? I have experience in education, discipleship, home life, marriage, life difficulties, faith, adventure, stages, and more. What specific topics shall I address? What podcasts? Conferences or events—(harder to do) Questions you wish I would discuss? Ideas for my membership? What do you want more of? What encourages the most? My staff and I will be meeting soon to plan for the year ahead.

What a joy it has been to cultivate this community. I love you all, pray for you, and look forward to the next 70! :) Heartfelt thanks. Wishing you the happiest of Mondays.

Taking Time for Tea Today

How I would love to invite you into my home today to take a load off, come join me for a chat, and to be friends. I am amazed and delighted by all of the kind, generous cards and mementos so many of you sent to wish me a happy birthday. And so I thought I would send a little gift of thanks by giving away 3 of my books, Teatime Discipleship.

I have been so encouraged by so many of you who have cherished and enjoyed this book. And even more excited that many of you decided to start your own groups by inviting friends over, starting a group at your church, or creating time with your children to build deeper, abiding friendships. That is exactly what I was hoping for by writing this book—stirring up communities of people who could gather, celebrate life together and encourage one another.

To enter to win a book for you or a friend, sign up for my newsletter, or enter through Instagram or Facebook. I will be giving away 3 books. They are beautiful with all the photos from my home and fun with recipes and my favorite teas and stories from my life over years of living all over the world and creating friend groups that are still going to this day. I hope this book will be of great encouragement.

You must excuse me now, as I have my own wonderful friends joining me to make one more memory together in my home. Hope you win :)

Building An Immovable Foundation

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"The word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

Hebrews 4:12

When Sarah was giving a talk several years ago, she remembered waking up early in the mornings to find me sitting in my favorite chair in the living room reading my Bible.

"I knew her diligence and devotion shaped her life. I learned I could learn and hear from God in my own life, I saw personal integrity in reality.”

The habit of coming to God every day, seeking Him, to listen and ponder His ways and engage in His truth is the most profound action that will shape your life.

I hardly need to say I was not perfect. Stressful, crisis seasons kept me from this habit at times. Reading God's word and praying was essential to my ability to continue taking one more step in the direction of my own ideals—the fuel for my strength when life was exhausting.

If I am serious about God, I must be serious about investing in Him. Others need the truth He teaches me.

More voices and messages invade the sound waves of our brains today than ever. Living in a melting pot of cultures, where all religions, values, and morals drift together and are said to be equal; where all varieties of moral behavior are validated and find acceptance; where television, film, and the internet smudge the clear borders of truth every day, means the call to teach children has never been more profoundly necessary.

They must know the voice of the true, loving, living God; not just platitudes of moral rules. Only real wisdom and scripture will do.

We build the true foundational belief system, understanding of truth God's nature and ways, in our children's minds, one day at a time, one brick at a time. For our children to have a strong standard of truth speaking to their invisible thoughts, their minds must be filled with thousands of teachings of scripture so their brains will have a "go-to" place when they are making decisions about their lives. Essential strong foundations. In Oxford, reminded me that ancient buildings on great foundations last for generations. Without a foundation, our lives will crumble.

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Tea Time Tuesday: Preparation for Fun and Adventure

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Tea Time Tuesday: Adventures of Sally and Family

Preparation: the action or process of making something ready for use or service or of getting ready for some occasion, test, or duty.

One of the legacy traditions of us Clarksons for many years is hiking on the tall mountain top at Mueller State Park in view of Pike’s Peak. Of course we wanted to share the tradition with my 3 grandchildren. What an adventure to find their own size of walking stick and to collect pine cones and to look for evidence of bears!

A stop at a favorite coffee shop just before entering the mountainous climb is accompanied by Rich Mullins songs and cappuccinos. What fun it was to find walking sticks, to build a lean-to fort, to snack heartily at picnic tables, and to breathe in mountain air and glorious vistas, looking for wild animals along the way.

Occasionally people ask me how I do so much. Honestly, I am not the most efficient person in the world, but I have copied wise people and learned how to plan. But the key to most of my ideals is preparing practically to know how to carry out ideals in real time, real life—and that requires a life of preparation.

Preparing amusement and engagement for guests, planning for food, and preparing my own heart to be flexible for all of the life interruptions, lack of sleep, and the reality of many different personalities and preferences under my roof. So many sweet moments and lessons every time we all gather.

Knowing that my wonderful children and grandchildren were coming to visit me for almost 3 weeks meant that I needed to prepare my home to be a haven where they could play, eat, be engaged in interests on their own level, plan for rhythms of meals, rest times and lots of fun.

Today on my podcast I share many of the ways Clay and I prepared for our home to be child friendly, a place to rest and be at peace, and a welcome to their parents. But the more I can plan ahead, and put my plans in place, the easier it will be for all of us to be happily together. What a joy to be able to share this time with my own adult children and their children.

Of course with real human beings, we need to plan for our plans to sometimes be interrupted—like 5 visits to the Urgent Care over a week, including several different guests in my house! Some sleepless nights for those who are having jet lag, but lots of fun, playing, and making sweet memories in between.

Any great celebration or task requires forethought, preparation, and consideration.

How do you prepare for the crowds that come your way?

Join me today on the At Home with Sally podcast and hear of our adventures.

All Relationships Are Fraught

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“Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.”

-I Peter 4:8

All relationships are fraught. People are irritating. The demands of parenting and marriage and friendship are challenging. One of the most consistent ways we observe the fallenness of humans in our world is in their inability to love one another, to get along, to have peace and understanding. Our sin nature causes us to see the world and people from our own eyes, our own perspective. We justify our attitudes because we suppose we are right, even when we are imperfect.

This propensity to have conflict shows itself in war, marriage, parenting, friendship, work. One of the realities of this “fallen relationship” principle is that no natter how we try, no matter how kind we think we are being, we cannot please all people—or children or spouses or friends. If we are too quiet and introverted we will bring judgement from some. If we are too extraverted, we will surely be disliked by some. Try as I may, just being “me” bothers some people. And it is the same with you.

For this reason, it is helpful to understand that before you ever get to some people, they are already predisposed not to be loving, or to make the effort to reach out or to “like” you. It is a “them” problem—don’t take it on.

Yet, to love, in spite of other’s flaws, is truly a remarkable act of believers who allow the Holy Spirit to love others, in spite of or in whatever way they have offended or disappointed me.

“Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.” -Prov. 17:9

This is why as believers, we need to understand the principle of unconditional love. It is natural to disdain or criticize people—it is supernatural to love, to forgive, to be patient.

Paul reminds us, “Love is patient, love is kind,”

The Holy Spirit teaches us little by little to practice gracious responses, to speak with a gentle voice, to heal broken relationships, to move forward in unconditional love.

Why do we pursue love, practice loving the unlovable, give grace?

We love because He first loved us. I John 4:19 Jesus is our model for relationships.

Even on the cross, “and while being abusively insulted, He did not insult in return; while suffering, He did not threaten, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously,:” I Peter 2:23

We will never be perfect in love, but we practice love as a service of worship to God, because He tells us to, because He loves us even though we do not deserve it.

Today, practice love because you want to please the heart of Jesus. And know you are not alone if you have struggled with loving someone dear to you—that is natural. But He will teach you to love and that will show His reality to others in your life.

Bear With One Another

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“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

-Col. 1: 13

While visiting overseas, I cherished time with a friend from my missionary years. Tears streaming down her face, my friend said, “I can't seem to let go of the things my ‘supposed’ friend did to hurt me. She told lies about me, manipulated me. I was so gullible because she quoted Bible verses, acted like she was a strong Christian. I have tried to forgive her, but my bitterness against her takes up so much brain space. I just can't seem to get over all the ways she hurt me. I rehearse it over and over again in my mind.”

People disappointing people is common in this day and time. So often, I find more people in my life who have been emotionally injured by those who call themselves “Christians” but do not live by biblical principles. A woman whose husband is addicted to pornography or has had an affair; a parent or relative who has been abusive or harsh; a friend who has rejected; kids who have rejected or harmed our children, a pastor or leader who has fallen to immorality and the list goes on and on. This a picture of our broken world and the fallenness of people.

All of us will be offended by many people in our lifetime. And, all of us make mistakes and act in immature ways. We lose our temper. We are selfish and want the best or biggest piece of cake. We become angry over petty issues. We break someone else's toy, so to speak.

No matter how hard any of us try, we will always always be flawed and eventually fall short of someone's expectations and disappoint those who love us. Or we will be sorely disappointed by many people.

Unless we learn to give these wounds into the file drawer of heaven, to allow Christ to take these burdens of heart for us, we will be overwhelmed by a shadow of bitterness, anger or disappointment.

That is why forgiveness is so very essential to the message of Christ. Join me on my podcast today: At Home With Sally

Tea Time Tuesday: Hospitality: Serving the Least of These Pleases Jesus

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“And the King will answer them, Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” - Matthew 25:40

Tea Time Tuesday: Tending to the hearts of the “least of these” is what pleases Jesus. We are His hands, voice, and touch to those He has trusted into our care. Don’t despise the day of small things—it will pass so fast! You, like me, will find yourself longing for the “good old days."

My adult children have become occupied with their own busy lives, it is harder to bring them all together. Yet, recently as yet another birthday approached, I asked one of my daughters, “Would you like for me to spoil you and take you out to breakfast for a girl’s time to celebrate your birthday?” Her answer surprised me.

“What I would really like is to have an old traditional Clarkson family breakfast with all of us who can make it, to eat cheesy eggs, your homemade cinnamon rolls, and be together, celebrate our friendship. That’s what I want the most.”

I look at all of the years of raising my children. The cherished table times and moments together are where we became best friends. This is the best gift we gave. It is the thread that tied our hearts together through the years.

This table that I set was thrown together out of a habit I have learned over years. Using the resources available to me, since I don’t have a car, I had to be creative. Bringing color and beauty to our lives was one of the goals. I use thrifting to create mealtime art!

Each home where I have lived overseas has its own unique flavor. I make home whichever country I am in, celebrating every day as a gift, making sure to focus on the personal—their heart. We have very crowded tables in our homes overseas—no large dining rooms, just small places in our kitchen. I ordered dishes from eBay (8 china dinner plates for $12, candlesticks from a market for $2, a flower vase for $4, and 8 wine glasses that held juice for our breakfast for $10).

Celebrating so many birthdays before, putting together a family birthday breakfast was easy because of the practice of hosting them hundreds of times.

Join me on my Tea Time Tuesday podcast today, where I have my son Joel on to talk about his brand new album, Midsummer. Follow Joel on Insta: @joel.i.clarkson

In Quietness is Your Strength

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Have you noticed that worry and fear and anxiety steal your energy, make you exhausted, and take over your emotions and thoughts?

God says through Isaiah 30:15, “In quietness and rest will be your strength.”

In other words, we sacrifice the peace of Christ when we choose to try to take control of our circumstances or figure out how our difficulties will all work out. We wrongly think at times we are in control. But in a broken world where we are subject to our own foolishness and sin as well as the chaos of the world and other sinful people, in quietness and rest in God is our strength.

When Jesus was going through the most stressful moments he had on earth, He said to his disciples, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

“Wait on the Lord and you will gain new strength.” Isaiah

Today, my friends, live in His peace. Rest in His strength. Peace be yours, the Lord is near.