Tea Time Tuesday: Motherhood is a Long Game

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“For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it?” Luke 14:28

Motherhood is a long game, a marathon. There is no quick fix to make it easy. No amount of ranting or complaining can change the fact that we live in a fallen world, a battleground for souls.

I wish I had known sooner, or better understood, or earlier admitted that I needed to accept this reality, to decide to grow up, determined to build my strength little by little. It would have saved me much emotional havoc in the long run.  

If I had understood that life was a battle for allegiance to the one who is true, not an issue of choosing the right activities, best curriculum, or most promising school choice. If only I knew that sacrificing my life to God's design would be the making of my character;

To have understood that the longer I loved, served, gave myself to training my children, the more I would understand His fatherhood of me, the complete sacrifice He was willing to make for me, his own unaware, shortsighted toddler child, who was often blind to the workings of His ways, the wisdom of His voice, even as my children were often blind to my wisdom given for their sakes.

If only I had known that the miracle of my children's long term faith and love for Him was not an issue of my being righteously mature or perfect in performance, but upon my dependence for Him working according to His power and mercy over time — that He was the one who made our paltry sacrifices enough to reach the hearts of our children, because He cared more than I did about loving, redeeming my children out of darkness into His light. That all He wanted from me was to give it up to Him, to live by faith, to enjoy the gift He had given into my hands — the gift of mothering these children, living this story, seeing His miracles right before my eyes.

He said, “Commit your way unto the Lord, trust also in Him and He will do it.” (Psalm 37:5)

If only I had known, it would have saved me much emotional havoc, worry, impatience, stress. I would have lived restfully in peace, enjoyed each day more, letting Him take the weight of fretting and worry.

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A Place & A People To Call Home

Life is crafted little by little through the years. Every home can be a beautiful part of God’s design, and you get to become the artist who crafts the life rhythms to ensure that love and faith are at the center and the sacred places and moments honored over the years. Each family will develop its own distinct way of living out the principles of wisdom and delight that shape a home into a lifegiving place.

We may call many places home during our lifetimes, yet each dwelling can be crafted with all the meaningful elements that matter to our families — a spirit of love, an invitation to belong, and beauty that is woven through each room. I truly believe that the home we cultivate is one of the greatest works of our lives.

Read more about this in Well Lived.

Every Day Of Your Life Matters

I look back through my 70 years of choosing to follow Him with my whole heart, and my life has been filled with deep, satisfying relationships and love, meaningful moments touched by the hand of God, open doors that I never could have imagined, and blessings beyond what I knew I could experience from a supernatural, infinite God who had eternal treasures to bestow.

Sometimes it meant taking steps forward when I did not know what was ahead. Other times it required waiting to find answers to prayer and learning to strain toward Him. I found all along He was there, ready as a loving Father to bless me, His own precious child.

Preorder your copy of Well Lived.

The Gift Of A Kindred Spirit Friend

Sometimes, if we look closely enough, we might observe an angel kissing us with an unexpected gift. Deep friendship with a very special few kindred spirits has satisfied my soul in many ways.

Jacqui was one such person. Not only did she help me set out refreshments, light candles, and invite people into our Bible studs, but most weeks when I lived in Oxford she would take me on adventures — we explored tiny villages, cute towns, and interesting old houses all over the city.

God knew how much I would need a kindred spirit friend in Oxford. Many precious friends graced my life over the years and I will cherish them always.

Who is your kindred spirit friend?

Preorder your copy of my new book, Well Lived, today.

What It Means To Build A Culture Of Love

One of the wonderful consequences of years and years of building a culture of love in my family is that my children have become free in their encouragement to me and to others. They have grown into my best friends, and my investment of love aimed at their hearts now is coming back to me.

This happened as a result of investing lots of love and grace and appreciation into my precious children so that they would experience a safe, lifegiving place where our friendship could bloom.

Today is the time to invest in the lives of those we love, as there may never be another time. Express your love, take the initiative to let family and friends know they really mean a lot to you. Make sure they understand beyond the shadow of a doubt how much they are worth to you. Honor them with your actions, with words that will be planted in their souls.

Read more about this in The Lifegiving Home.

43 Years! Marriage: The Ideals & The Reality

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“Above all, be fervent in your love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sin.”

Last weekend, Clay and I celebrated our marriage of 43 years — quite a legacy. We could never have imagined the adventures, legacy, lessons we would learn about life through our many years. Today on Tea Time Tuesday, I speak of basic principles that helped us find grace to strengthen our marriage.

Most marriages start out with some idealism, romantic expectations. Mine was no different. Clay won me with bouquets of yellow roses (I was his yellow rose of Texas), romantic cards, dinners out. He put a lot of effort into winning me. And of course, I think most of us put a lot of imagination into how amazing our married life will be, how amazing our spouses will be.

 And then, there is life — 24 moves, 9 internationally; 4 children and 3 miscarriages, morning sickness all 9 months of pregnancy, almost dying from blood loss from one miscarriage, having to be in bed for 2 months. We have had deaths of family members, car wrecks, financial challenges, illness, a fire, and even 2 floods in our house, church splits, relative problems, ministry problems, lots of stress.

 Nothing quite prepared me, as a very immature, untrained young woman, to know how to bear all of the stresses we would face just by being a family.

It was several years before I realized, "This is it? It is not going to change — these are the defining issues of our marriage, our children, our family and they are not going to change?" And yet, I had been taught to seek God’s word, to pray and to obey and live in wisdom.

Just like salvation, you should work out your marriage with fear and trembling.

Learn and practice how not to be petty.

Look into the heart of your husband. Understand the context of his life, see who he is inside. What made him the man he is today. Ask God to give you understanding, wisdom, insight and mature love to relate to him based on his heartfelt needs.

Take it slow, seriously — it is one of the most profound legacies and stories you will ever live in reflecting faith, love, beauty in your lifetime. I’ll share even more principles in today’s new podcast episode.

Read about marriage in my new book, Well Lived.

I Promise, It Matters

"In the twilight of our lives, we will be judged on how we have loved."

-St. John of the Cross

I promise, your sacrifice of yourself matters.

The love you take time to give in the busy moments of life—the tender “tuck ins” at night when you are already tired. The cuddles after a skinned knee. The meals made one more day. The books read, the prayers given, the gentle answer to a heart broken child, the corrections to fussing children, the acceptance of a little one who is awkward or too much—does all of this really matter? Am I making a difference?

I promise you that it does. Your sacrifice of love means the world to your people and gives them emotional health, stability in a chaotic world, a sense of security because they know no matter how they fail or mess up, you will always be there to love them, understand their struggles and affirm their great worth to you.

It is still rare in my life that I have more than five minutes to myself! It is truly a phantom to think that any woman can do it all and find a finishing point in meeting the needs of her family. ! I have found in my own life, that if I am attending to the needs of my children, Clay, home, close friends and family, I really have to economize and prioritize my time and the way I invest it.

My life pretty much demands every moment of me!

I do, more and more with each passing day, though, sense how important my role as a mother and godly woman is and I do get such joy out of it. Even now as the mother of grown, adult children. I am still needed. I daily see the results of my many years of striving toward the goal of being a woman after God's own heart and serving those around me for His glory.

Now don't get me wrong, this does not mean that I always feel loving towards these strange people who inhabit my home! Or that I do it perfectly. But because of my love for the Lord, which is more dear to me each year, I keep putting one step in front of the other and see, with the eyes of my heart and mind, the power of my work to fill souls with great thoughts and causes and love for God's kingdom.

Mostly, though, I see more clearly how much I am a living picture of God's reality every day, by exhibiting the fruit of the spirit, by giving cups of cold, refreshing water, by serving and giving of myself and my wisdom and teaching and by always taking the initiative to speak life and joy and wisdom on a daily regular basis—by loving these others with all of my heart.

Let Me Tell You All About Oxford

How can I properly describe for you my little world of Oxford? Let me tell you all about it...

Ancient churches where faith had been celebrated for centuries, with exquisite stained glass windows, were sprinkled throughout the town. Generations of believers have prayed here, been married here, been strengthened in their faith here. It was in such a church that I worshiped regularly.

At any given moment, I might pass a group of young, busy, bright-eyed students passionately speaking in a foreign language, probably discussing their thesis.

In waterways throughout the city, swans would glide by, elegant and regal.

Quintessential vibrant red English phone booths charmed me often.

The old, grand libraries encouraged significant thoughts, great words, and a deep love of learning for all who entered.

The stunning architecture would draw my thoughts to the people that had built this world for me to one day enjoy. It created a deep appreciation in my heart, that I would live in such a city.

And lastly, the lasting legacy of beauty, wisdom, and grace that many before me had left during their time in Oxford inspired me to write my latest book, Well Lived. Pre-order your copy today!

Parents Are God's Way Of Providing For Children

Parents are the ones most closely connected to their child and who have the most personal emotional investment in seeing that their child grows healthy and strong. They have more weight in the long-term development of who their child becomes than anyone else who cares for the child. Parents are profoundly influential in the lives of their children.

After becoming a mother, I realized that a part of my being faithful to God was being faithful to steward the lives of children He gave to me as a blessing. This entrustment came to be a part of my living relationship with Him. This was the way He determined children would be cared for by the parents who called them theirs.

Read more about this in Awaking Wonder.

Tea Time Tuesday: Building Spiritual Muscle

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Tea Time Tuesday

Almost every day, I walk 3 miles — half in a morning walk and half around 5 o’clock. Walking is a habit of health. In order to get the benefit from it (stronger muscles, bone density, lower blood sugar, mental and physical strength, etc.) I must do it regularly, most every day. A day here and there does not build strength or health.

It is the same with our spiritual walk with God, developing spiritual muscle. In order to have a deeper personal faith, a foundation of truth based on reading God’s word, a habit of journaling and prayer, a trust in His goodness, a dependence on His counsel through His Holy Spirit, I must practice my spiritual walk as I practice my physical walk — as a discipline of my life every day.

As I was pondering the messages of my new book, Well Lived, I came up with 6 spiritual habits and practices that helped me grow strong in my spiritual walk, so that I can leave a legacy of a deep spiritual life. I will expand on these areas today in my podcast, At Home with Sally. I hope these simple goals will encourage you.

Giving Thanks—the Bible says it is good to give thanks to the Lord. I start out with this practice every day.

Reading God’s Word Daily — I believe that scripture is God’s vocabulary to instruct and lead us. We cannot be sensitive to know His wisdom unless we are storing His words and wisdom regularly to guide our decisions and choices every day.

Practicing Love — every day with our family, friends, co-workers, etc. God tells us to Love Him with all of our heart and to love our neighbor as ourselves.

Forgiving — Even those who have offended me. Jesus says we are to forgive as He has forgiven us. If we practice blaming and hating, it will poison our thoughts and relationships. Forgiveness cultivates humility and peace in our hearts.

Waiting Patiently — For God’s timing and direction, even if it takes a long time, even if I don’t understand. Patience builds integrity and perspective for others.

Cultivating Faith — Hebrews says, “Without faith, it is impossible to please God.”

I will expand on these areas today in my podcast. I hope these simple goals will encourage you. I’ll also share about: peach cobbler, a favorite book, and much more!