Artists, Writers, Musicians, Wordsmiths: This suits the Clarksons & Podcast

In the old days, farmers taught their sons and daughters how to farm and to make a living from the gardens, the livestock. Those who ran the general store did so with the help of their children. Our family seem to all do the same thing—write books, speak, do music and craft messages. It is what the Clarksons do. You would never ask us to be your accountant or physician, but we all seem to have the same basic make-up—artist, writers, musicians, message makers.

And we are hobbits and eat and drink all the time. And we talk endlessly.

I thought it would be fun, before everyone started to head back to their homes, to share a little bit of this community we share together with you.

One of the most consistent messages we spoke to our children’s heart was, “God has created you with a place in His kingdom story. He gave you a personality, skills, desires so that you can use the uniqueness of who you are to serve Him and bring His light to bear through you.”

A desire to know that our lives matter, that we have meaning through the days we live is a deep desire of all of us. We tried to draw that longing for purpose out from our children’s hearts.

It is so fun to hear their ideas, see their passions and to know that all have a desire to use their gifts to honor God in some way.

Clay, who was a major inspirer in our home, was at the office working today, so he did not get to throw in his two cents worth. But the rest of us gathered around the mic before we sent Nathan on his way. Hope you enjoy our podcast. Maybe one of our ideas or projects will inspire you to imagine some unique ways

God might use you in 2019. May He show you that all of your days have great meaning.

If you would like to follow all the projects, movies, daily happenings in our lives, you can follow us on Instagram @clarksonfamilyofficial

I hope you will follow us there.

Happy New 2019.

A Sweet Surprise for a Busy Mama at Christmastime ... & Podcast--(What happened to Lily)

All four of my own children have invaded my home and brought with them laughter, messes from suitcases, lots of coffee and tea cups being used over and over again. The joy of my season, so far, has been to just sit and listen to them share friendship together. My heart is saying, "It was all worth it. They all caught a vision for life. They are all alive with ideals, vision, purpose and love for the One who matters the most."

And then, Lily’s illness hit. Our holiday plans have been turned upside down-for everyone. Hospital stay, emergency rooms, ambulance, 3 emergency clinic visits and many sleepless nights. Oh what a week it has been but I wanted to share the story with all of you who so kindly prayed and encouraged us.

Of course I am so happy to be hosting precious baby Lilian., even amidst her illness. Her presence in our home, with her squeals and antics of excitement for life, fills all of us with renewed thankfulness for Him who created Life!

With such strong personalities and ideals, of course there is friction and stress in the up and down moments of our lives … but also lots of memories and stories. This one is one of my favorites of those, from one of my very best friends, Nathan. We have grown even so much closer this year through the events of our lives, and I am always happy when he is around. Take time to look into the eyes of your loved ones this season, and you will make a memory you will love to visit years from now.

 Christmas Eve found me huffing and puffing over a kitchen cabinet overflowing with dough. Cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning, herb and onion bread for the Shepherd's meal that very evening, and I was into my own vortex of checking off a mental list of all that had to be finished. Stockings, wrap presents, call my family, make the potato soup and fill the cookie trays......on and on the list grew.

Charming 12 year old, golden blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, marched into the kitchen with a purpose to his step.

"Mama, I know you are busy, but there is something real important I need to talk to you about. I need you to come right now!"

A little tightness wrapped itself around my attitude.

My thoughts, "Hello! Can't you see that I am up to my elbows in dough? Do you really know how much I am doing to make all of you happy? I am doing this for you. Can't you just see what I am up to and wait for just a little bit?"

My words, "Honey, I am a little busy right now. Can you just wait for a few minutes? Why don't you talk to me right here--I am happy to listen to you."

"Mom, we need to have privacy. It won't take long. If you could just come with me for a few minutes, I really need to talk to you."

Something in my heart said, "You need to take time. He is not usually this insistant in the middle of the day. Give him your focussed attention for just a few minutes."

And so I reluctantly wiped my hands clean, put the dough down and said, "Ok, Nate, let's go to my bedroom. No one is there."

He seemed to be holding something behind his back and wanted me to go in front of him.

I walked ahead of him into my bedroom, sat on our little love seat next to our bed and said, trying to smile amidst the tension I was feeling, "Now, Nathan, what did you want to talk about?"

Then, with a smile from cheek to cheek, he gingerly pulled out one long stem red rose from behind his back and presented it to me.

"Mama, I love you more than Christmas."

"I was thinking about all that you do to make us happy and I wanted to give you a present before I get all of my presents tomorrow. I wanted to let you know I love you and really appreciate you ahead of time. So here is my present, mama. I made Dad take me to the store and I got a red rose for you.  Do you like it?"

Of course, you could have pushed me over with a feather.

I was shocked, surprised, touched, and the tears began to flow and my heart began to melt.

"Nathan, that might be the sweetest, most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given to me. Thank you with all of my heart."

And so I drew his "little-boy" body to myself and gave a great big hug and kissed him on his smiling cheek.

"I will never forget this. I adore you, sweet Nathan."

And I haven't forgotten.

And now I saw my extraverted, ADD, bubbling over, OCD boy in a whole new light.

So very glad this one time God prompted me to listen with my heart instead of my head.

Hope you enjoy the podcast—as we wanted our friends to know our adventures and challenges this week with Lily. Joel helped me find a song we hope you will enjoy. Have the most wonderful Christmas with your loved ones.

Time for Tasting Some Pure Pleasure: Raspberry Soup!

Taste and see that the Lord is good. Psalm 34

Some foods just speak “Christmas love” to me. Perhaps it is the memories or that we always serve it at our “friends” luncheon, but sometimes it tastes like fairy fare or something mysteriously wonderful.

By this time in the month, an easy, beautiful, mouth pleasing treat might be needed to stop and enjoy the pure joy God wants you to taste in your life. Take time to celebrate the moments of life He has given amidst all the goings and comings. Breathe in His joy.

Once on a hot summer's day, I was searching the streets of Budapest, Hungry, for an apartment where a Christian contact was awaiting our arrival. We called the telephone number that we had been given, but no one answered. Our standing instructions, as young missionaries working in a Communist country behind the iron curtain, were to find a local cafe and wait one hour until calling again. (Sometimes if the secret police were near by, and a family was expecting us, the hosts would not answer the phone in order to warn us to stay away.)

And so, my friend and I found a tiny, smoky cafe and entered to see if we could find something delicious to eat while we were waiting. We made our way to a tiny, round table in the corner with a lovely woven traditional flowered table cloth, fresh carnations in a red clay vase and soft music wafting in the background. Seems we had found a jewel of a place.

Our waitress immediately knew we were Americans and talked to us in broken English. We asked her if they had a speciality. Her reply was, "Have you had our cold raspberry soup?"

I had never heard of any kind of berry soup, but we couldn't speak a word of Hungarian and as berries were in season, we took  a chance.

Heaven couldn't have produced better fare for us that day! Light, sweet with a touch of sour, whip cream and berries--all cold and smooth.

Every Christmas when I have friends over for lunch, we always have cold raspberry soup as the starter--red for Christmas and special for a unique tradition--a favorite taste of our family and a celebration whenever we eat it.  

So here is my recipe: I hope you will love it!

Chilled Raspberry Soup

Ingredients

• 2 bags frozen raspberries-- around 18-20 ounces. I thaw them the day before I make the soup in my fridge.

• 1-1/2 cups water

• 1/4 cup white zinfandel or sweeter wine (if desired--not necessary) Do not use a very sour cooking wine.

• 1 cup cranberry apple juice or cranberry -raspberry juice

• 1/2 -1 cup of sugar (to taste)

• 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

• 1/4 t. ground cloves

• 1 -2 tablespoon lemon juice

• 1 (8 ounce) container  raspberry yogurt (I use the Greek yoghurt)

• whipped cream or sour cream--depending on preference

Directions

1. In a blender, puree raspberries, water and wine if desired. (Taste to see if it is the right consistency for you--some like it thick, some like it thinner--juice or water will thin it.) Transfer to a large saucepan; add the cran-raspberry juice, sugar, cinnamon and cloves. (I have had sweet raspberries and some that were sour. If they are sour, they will need a little bit more sugar. Be sure it blends in.)

2. Bring just to a boil over medium heat.

3. Remove from the heat; strain if you want it totally smooth,  and allow to cool. (I grind my raspberries so much in the blender that you cannot notice the seeds, but sometimes cooks strain the seeds out to make it totally smooth.) Whisk in lemon juice and yogurt. Refrigerate long enough to cool. To serve, pour into small bowls and top with a dollop of whip or sour cream.

   It will become a family favorite! Such a luxurious holiday treat.

   You can find this and other recipes in The Lifegiving Table. It might just make a great gift for you or a friend. And read the Companion study filled with encouragement.

The Lifegiving Table: Nurturing Faith through Feasting, One Meal at a Time

By Sally Clarkson

The Lifegiving Table Experience: A Guided Journey of Feasting through Scripture

By Sally Clarkson

Enjoy!

Light That Will Dispel All Darkness & a Podcast Message from Sally

Darkness seems to threaten so many sacred places in our times. Marriage is being attacked. Children are not valued. The battle rages. Yet, we have a conquerer, a warrior on our side, one who has already won victory. He is with us. We may champion alongside Him and sing His praises as we watch Him bring a rousing victory. We are agents of His grace and light and have the privilege one time on this earth to sing and teach and tell of His ways and light, until the victory dinner when we see Him face to face.

Living wistfully in dream-land as a child, I was quite sensitive to beauty, to the “thin places” where heaven and earth almost meet, and was given to imagining worlds beyond my own. A light seemed to burn inside that whispered of a glorious beyond.

Christmas Eve in New Mexico, where I lived, was spent opening stockings and one present that my brothers and I were given after dinner. The grand finale, the whip cream of the evening was an event that delighted my little girl heart each year. Our family of 5 would quietly patter into our Southwestern Stucco church inside the grand sanctuary that was covered over with heavy wooden beams and paneling. The lights would be dim and the pews crowded as we pushed hard to make more room for all the families who had visiting relatives, come to celebrate the coming of Christ.

Oddly, my pastor was from Australia and had an elegant accent. He would read the passages from Luke which underlined the angels saying “Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace amongst men in whom he is well pleased.” Even then I loved words and lived into the starry night and events that thrilled the shepherds and common folk who ran to see the newborn babe.

At that point, all lights (I mean *all lights!) would be dimmed so that you couldn't even see your hand in front of your face. “This paints the picture of what life would be like without God, without His love, His life, HIs presence, His fatherhood in our lives. We are all dark and cannot even find the way to live life.”

Then my pastor would light one candle and say, “But Jesus did not want us to live in darkness, so He became the light in the world that brought us love, purpose, and forgiveness, and restored us to the love God wanted us to know from the beginning of time. When we share this light with others who were also born to know Him, we will bring back His light into our world.”

Then he would share his candle with the one next to him and everyone in the room would share with the persons surrounding them and little by little the room would become bright, with the picture blazing in my mind and burning in my heart that I wanted to be a light bearer.

Today, on my podcast, I am sharing a recording with all of you that I made especially for my membership. Many people have asked me, “What kind of podcasts and recordings do you have in your membership?” Well, here’s an example. This is a Bible study that I do each month. I hope you enjoy it—and I pray you will live into the light who came to light your darkness.

Just a few verses and thoughts that spoke to me in my quiet time today:

“Come swiftly, O Lord, to the dark moments when we are lost. Make us aware of Thy presence. Strengthen us to resist the urges and pulls to deeper darkness.Stir us to move away from the dark moments of sinful selfishness toward the light of thy forgiveness. Come quickly, O Lord, as we call--or forget to call--and keep Thous close to us and keep us close to Thee this day and night and as far as the days and nights stretch before us, and we see you face to face, through Jesus Christ. Amen.”

-James Kennedy, Holy Island

"If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light will be night," Even the darkness is not dark to thee, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to thee." Psalm 139: 11-12

"I am the light of the world. In me is no darkness at all."

“And the people who were living in darkness have seen a great light.”

“Let your light so shine amongst men that they may see my glory …”

-Jesus

May our lights show forth today and may we walk in the light of His counsel.

Peace and grace to you today.

Create Rest During Advent & Breathe in Peace & Podcast

"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life." I Thess. 4:11

This has not been a quiet week.

Packing up our house in Oxford for a 2 month journey home meant we had to pack, empty the rubbish bins, straighten and wash linens for the others who will stay in our home while we are gone. Then flights home after bus rides to the airport. Luggage dragging—then home.

Hosting several get togethers, cooking for all of my boys, Christmas presents, baking cookies, unpacking—you all know the lives we lead and live.

Yet, the happiness of being with my sweet people and friends has carried me through so far.

But today, I hit a wall. So, I know from the past, since everyone will be home starting tonight for about two weeks with other out of town guests, I will be “on” a lot. So, instead of finishing all of my straightening and wrapping before the kids walk in the door, I am sitting and having a cup of tea and one of my cookies. I will probably even go take a 20 minute nap before I start flurrying around again—knowing I will never get everything done.

But if I don’t have a little bit of protected time to myself, I will probably explode in some unfortunate way and then will regret. Taking time to breathe in whatever gives you a little bit of reprieve will help you have a “merrier” attitude through the whole season.

I think about all of you, my beautiful, wonderful online friends, and I often pray for you to have peace and strength for your very demanding lives.

Today, I wish you beauty, rest, fun and the celebration of life with your sweet ones today.

Today, my heart will be turned to home. I will plan easy meals that bring all of us comfort and rest as we are all quite exhausted. These are some of my plans.

Savory soups bubbling on the stove and warm bread with butter and strong cures of cheese, accompanied  by homemade applesauce.

Long walks in the woods and mountains, taking in the art of leaves, chill wind, snow blowing across the covered white grass, dark colors of navy in the sky and reminder that life is always changing, and always to be cherished-- with my most precious ones.

Fireplaces blazing with tea or coffee or cider and stories being read.

Real conversations that take lots of time, face to face without my eyes on a machine or phone--but real listening, touching, sharing hearts, giving words of encouragement and life--which require time and focus.

Long quiet times, seeking Him and His values and His ways for myself and my family.

Filling my mind with story, encouragement, inspiration, rest, so that I actually have something left in my soul to offer to those who would draw from there.

Rest and Sabbath times--quiet, away, undistracted, peaceful.

This is my hope and prayer for you today.

May the Peace of the Lord be with you today and carry you through the sleepless nights, piles of dishes, constant needs of those around you and may you know you are the true heroes and God sees your precious love poured out faithfully. His heart for you is very soft and generous. He loves you so much.

Happy Rest and enjoy the podcast on this subject today.

I am podcasting today with my sweet friend, Shelly Miller, who also lives in the UK, in London. She loves to encourage women to take time to rest. You can find her at Shellymillerwriter.com.

Giving a Gift that Inspires: The Clarkson Books, a podcast & Giveaway!

A Christmas Gift that will inspire and encourage! The Clarkson books, of course! :)

My Friends,

Messages of truth, hope, love, faith so that we can know and serve God more is at the heartbeat of all that we do at Whole Heart. Clay and I always want to be a source of spiritual encouragement, support and inspiration to help our friends grow strong in the Lord and in biblical convictions. We love sharing the messages God has put on our hearts with you!

It is our desire, through the messages in our books and podcasts to help women grow in their faith.

Today, consider purchasing a gift for your friends or family that will keep on giving—a book filled with messages that will give them grace and light for years to come.

As a thank you to all of you who are so encouraging to us, we want to give four sets of any two books of your choice, (that we have in stock!), to four of you so that you might have a book to give to your own loved ones. Just follow us on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/sally.clarkson/) and share there with a friend, or do the same on my facebook fan page. https://www.facebook.com/therealsallyclarkson/

Click on the image for a link to our books for purchase. And listen to the podcast for some inspiring passages from each book. Happy Friday. Contest ends on Monday. You may also leave a comment below for an entry if you do not have fb or instagram.

Coming Soon! Available for pre-order. Releases February 5, 2019!

Join us and countless thousands of women all over the world to build strong community, inspiring friendships and accountability for growing into the excellent women God created us to be. We hope you will be inspired by our story.

The Lifegiving Series:

Motherhood & Parenting:

Education:

Personal Discipleship & Ministry:

My Home's Lifegiving Christmas Traditions & Podcast Leah Boden

Come, Thou long expected Jesus
Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find our rest in Thee.
Israel's strength and consolation,
Hope of all the earth Thou art;
Dear desire of every nation, Joy of every loving heart. 

Stockings hung by the fire with care, a fresh pine wreath with birds nesting between pinecones, lit by a soft scented candle, fairy lights aglow in every corner of the room, flowers and poinsettias reminding of friends gracing our home with gifts, will all meet my adult children who are returning from Scotland, Oxford, New York.. These are some of the familiar scenes that have graced our home for many years and  will speak familiarity, comfort: "our place" when all walk in the front door. 

I buy 3 wreaths to put on various tables and a candle in the middle each year. Stockings on one hearth and little elf dolls on the other hearth. Pinecones in my big old brass planter at the front door with red berries and a little greenery, and so much more.

I will be returning to this very scene in two days. Clay has put up the tree with lights, the boys and I will finish decorating it as we get home before the others and I will put on the final touches all through the house. I will begin making meals for the freezer, cookie dough balls starting with everyone’s favorites, the snow ball shortbread pecan cookies, (in Lifegiving Table book).

Creating traditions over the year with your family will cultivate a family culture unique to your own heritage. Each of us has agency to decide what is a priority to our own family with consideration of our unique values, personalities and preferences. Yet, when a celebration is practiced year after year, together, pathways of security are roughed out in hearts and minds to remember these practices as moments that speak of love, home and intimacy shared to build life-long community.

Today, my friend, Leah Boden and I share on the podcast about some of the favorite Christmas traditions of England where I have been living, helping to take care of baby Lily and giving Joy support for this very challenging year of study. I have shared our favorite family traditions that have held our own children over the years: I may have my kids on a podcast to share their favorite Christmas traditions:; a simple candlelit Shepherd's meal for Christmas Eve; more books to read, 26 years of a gathering of women to share legacies of stories with cold raspberry soup, scones and jam; Romping from home to home for an evening of meals with friends and silliness shared, carol sings and potlucks, and more.

It is not so important what we choose to do as it is that we seek to be intentional and cultivate an atmosphere of reverence for the profound entrance of Christ as a baby, vulnerable yet announcing and establishing a kingdom where we are welcome citizens, whose history we get to be a part of for eternity.

Your home is a laboratory of the life of Christ, where He can be seen through the incarnation of himself through our music, our love, our feasts, our faith, our peace and the comfort we receive from belonging to Him. Hidden impressions of faith are laid strategically over years of celebrating Christmas together on the foundations of our children's hearts that will speak to them of His hope in their lives long after they have left home. This year, practice those that build the beauty, mystery and hope that baby Jesus came to give. 

I will be writing this week about how much books have totally shaped my life and vision. I think the gift of a book is one of the best ways to invest in someone you love. I have received so many letters from women all over the world of how these books have shaped your vision for home and motherhood. What an honor to be able to be in this ministry that I hope is from God’s word and his heart to so many of you precious ones who labor every day to bring beauty and faith into the walls of your home. I know someone you know would love to be inspired by a book and so easy to send.

For more ideas on how to cultivate a home that breathes and cultivates a living faith, with strong foundations of love, pick up a copy of The Lifegiving Home or The Lifegiving Table. A perfect gift for Christmas for a beloved friend.

The Lifegiving Home: Creating a Place of Belonging and Becoming

By Sally Clarkson, Sarah Clarkson

Buy on Amazon

The Lifegiving Table: Nurturing Faith through Feasting, One Meal at a Time

By Sally Clarkson

Hope you enjoy our podcast and of course your day! Bless each of you.

The World Is Broken, And So Jesus Has Come & Podcast

"Jesus’ parents were amazed at what was being said about him. Then Simeon blessed them, and he said to Mary, the baby’s mother, “This child is destined to cause many in Israel to fall, but he will be a joy to many others. He has been sent as a sign from God, but many will oppose him.As a result, the deepest thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your very heart and soul.”

Luke 2:33-35

There are times in life when we all long for the world to be a place of rest, only beauty, good news and hope. Have you ever wished that just for a small, brief time, life could be happy, without burden, without guilt, without struggle? Just happy and easy and free to enjoy? I have. As a dreamer, romantic, idealist, I sometimes wish life could be as lovely as I can imagine it to be in my heart.

Mary must have had some moments of God’s celebration in her life—angels sang to the Shepherds, Wise Men fell and worshipped and brought amazing gifts to her baby Jesus, the future King. There must have been time to be amazed and to enjoy.

Often, in contemporary times, we have falsely convinced ourselves into thinking that this is the place we should be happy and have our deepest desires met. Why can't we just have it all, now?

And then, when the challenges come, the burdens weigh heavy, the interruptions and broken places drain us, and we find ourselves surprised and shocked and hurt by the imperfect, fallen people who populate our lives, because somehow, we were expecting sense, balance and wholeness out of this fallen broken place. 

And this is why He came into our darkness, why he invaded our world to bring light, beauty, restoration, rest, perfect love. 

As I have been pondering some of my own heaviness of life this week, Mary's story has brought grace and courage to my own life. Imagine with me, ...

Even as Mary was inviting her son into her love and deeply rejoicing in the miracle of His birth, she was told to be prepared for a sword to enter her heart.

Fondly cuddling her first born, her newborn son, Mary must have been filled with the unbelievable depth of awe that mothers feel when they understand that a miracle has taken place within them--a life has mysteriously come from seemingly nothing, grown inside into a warm flesh and blood tiny being and leaves our womb to foray into the swirl of this crazy world. Out of us, comes this precious gift that immediately binds itself around our hearts.

What a feeling to hold our babies for the first time and to dream of all the potential days that lay ahead, the possibilities that come with each life. 

And yet, as Mary was still on the cusp of breathing in this miraculous treasure of soul, a wizened old man, Simeon, chosen by God, looks deep in her young pensive eyes and gently warns of the trouble her little one will endure--he will cause many to fall, he will stand against those of her own race, and she hears, "many will oppose this one, your precious baby Jesus." 

Her son, just like ours, will face worries, difficulties, persecution when they seek to live righteously--and so will we. 

This news, in the inception of the joy of becoming his mother, foreshadows the  the weight of strain and trouble he would endure, this, her precious little, adorable baby boy. And finally,

"And a sword will pierce your heart." 

What news! Yet, a foretelling she could never forget. A warning so that she would not have to be surprised and unarmed when the sword came upon her. 

Often at this time of the year, I sit on my living room couch that faces pine trees and our front yard. Last year, (can’t wait to be there in a couple of days!) our Christmas tree stood bold in the front window covering up some of the light. Shadows crept stealthily towards me, softly as though to identify with some of my own burdened feelings, dancing over my own heart.

Life, indeed, comes with a constant companionship of burdens. Yet, in this moment, such deep gratefulness filled my being. Anew, in this quiet moment, I felt deep understanding: This is why he came, because He did not want to leave us alone, with a feeling of helplessness, in this laborious, strenuous place. He came humbly, as one who suffers, as one who could feel compassion, and yet as one who would become the prince of peace, the one who would save. 

From many years of experience with shadows, I know that they will come again, and light will also break in once again. But as I sit quiet in this space, I am cognizant that I am so deeply grateful that Jesus came. I am so happy to be celebrating Christmas with my loved ones. We can all have hope, we can all find the grace to forgive, and we can all have peace, because He has given us life.

Isaiah 53: 2-6 tells a part of his story:

My servant grew up in the Lord’s presence like a tender green shoot,
    like a root in dry ground.
There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance,
    nothing to attract us to him.
 He was despised and rejected—
    a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.
We turned our backs on him and looked the other way.
    He was despised, and we did not care.

 Yet it was our weaknesses he carried;
    it was our sorrows[a] that weighed him down.
And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God,
    a punishment for his own sins!
But he was pierced for our rebellion,
    crushed for our sins.
He was beaten so we could be whole.
    He was whipped so we could be healed.
 All of us, like sheep, have strayed away.
    We have left God’s paths to follow our own.
Yet the Lord laid on him
    the sins of us all.

And Finally, Isaiah 9:6

For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Time Alone: Tend Your Soul Through the Holidays

Time Alone: Tending Your Soul for the Holidays

Recently, I felt like I was all a mess inside and couldn’t put my finger on why. Finally, one of my friends commented, “Everyone wants something of you all the time. You must wish there was a place in your life where no one wanted anything from you.”

She was right. I give, serve, babysit. love, work, podcast, blog and then do it over again. And I was not centered. I love my life and all the people I serve, but then it hit me: I had not had any time by myself to regroup for almost 4 weeks. People in and out of my home had been lots of fun, but in a tiny space with multiple people sleeping in my bedroom, even there was not a haven. And so I went out by myself to a little hidden cafe and hid for 3 hours and read, wrote in my journal, drank several cups of coffee and then went for a long walk—by myself.

By this time of year, all of us are up to our eyeballs in S-T-R-E-S-S if we are alive. When all of my precious ones are home it’s constantly eating, cleaning up messes, cooking and then all over again, all accompanied by loud conversations.

If I want to be an agent of peace, I have to sow peace in my heart by the ways I am living in my moments. I want to bring peace to my family in the midst of all of their tension and needs.

It takes planning.

Every year at holiday season, I mean to be more at ease, more prepared. Yet, when life is flying by at light-speed, it is difficult to catch a breath in between the demands. However, if we purpose to take time for our own souls, to invest in thinking of Him in such a way that our moments are full of His life, then even in the busyness, our lives will be different—lighter, more joyful, extending generous, gentle love out of a full heart.

For me it starts with: Time alone—where no one needs me, no one wants a bite of whatever I am eating, and I can sit or read or just breathe for at least 30 minutes by myself! But finding this kind of time on a daily basis can be difficult.

Making personal goals to avoid exploding during the holidays and other such busy seasons is so very important to a mom’s life, because the journey of motherhood is so long without a break! Mothering has been an almost 30-year journey for me, and so far, the demands on my time and life from my children has not grown smaller.  We are still the main friends, supporters, encouragers and coaches to our four adult children, and now their needs and demands are just more adult and more expensive! And of course there’s my wonderful son-in-law and baby Lilian to love.

I set a few goals each holiday season to help me make it through with grace.

Everyone should have at least 10 minutes to sit—sit and stare, do nothing, breathe in peace, let burdens lift to heaven off of our shoulders, to discover what is on our heart—to center from the stillness of not being engaged in anything!

1.  Make a short list of what your personal needs are and then put a plan into action for this month so you can be sure to fulfill them. If you don’t give your ideas feet to walk on, you will not end up doing as you planned! (I have to have a quiet, one woman tea time every day for at least 15 minutes to be still and to sit by the lights in our living room—to still my soul.)

2. Plan an outing, just for you, that will give joy to your soul. It may be having lunch with a special friend or going shopping by yourself, or a quiet walk in the silent snow. For many, many years, I asked Clay for at least one Saturday off a month where he would take the kids out for a play day—museum, movie, playground, park, out for breakfast/lunch, on a hike, Christmas shopping, or whatever. We planned that it would be for at least 4-5 hours. By him taking my children away, I could just sit in my jammies at home and do whatever I wanted. Sometimes, I would go out during the time for myself.

3. Keep a stack of books and or magazines that you can just pick up at the spur of the moment. Keeping your mind filled with inspirational thoughts, or giving yourself a little quiet time, is more likely to happen if you have an immediate set of resources to read. (No internet will substitute for this time—your mind needs filling with great reading to keep alive and to give your soul food for thought through the moments of your life. I have been reading a C.S. Lewis Day by Day devotional, A City of Bells by Goudge, and Isaiah a tiny bite at a time, well as looking at a couple of favorite magazines with one of my girls on occasion!

4. Identify some small items that give you pleasure that add atmosphere to your room/home. I always have music to turn on as it lightens my mood, with Pandora or playlists on my phone or computer, always nearby.

I keep a stash of dark chocolate, salted almonds just for a nibble when I need a treat.. Also, I try to keep at least one room (the living room) where it is orderly, picked up, civilized. Then when I sit there, I don’t always feel like I have to pick up something.

Candles are lit, just because I like candles.

Bath salts are on the side of my tub, so that if I can squeeze in a hot bath on these cold winter nights, I can luxuriate for a few moments. For me, this would be after 10 or sometimes 11 at night, as I do not get a break from people before then—and I have to decide if my need is more for sleep or for relaxing—but the bath salts are there waiting for me, when I decide!)

5. Call, write, or make a coffee or tea date with someone who fills your heart’s needs or inspires your soul. Though I am blessed with friends from many different places, there are a few very special ones who fill my soul just by being with them. Actually, my children are now some of my most alive friends and fill me up just to be with them.

We all need emotional affirmation for our well-being as much as the body needs calories for physical sustenance. You have to take responsibility to nurture your own soul as usually, in this busy, fast-paced culture, no one else will think of it for you.

If you do not currently have a soul-mate, go to a favorite book, a favorite author, and have time at a private, more quiet coffee shop with your book, your journal, your Bible in hand and fill your own heart with the love from that book or from the Lord. My quiet, alone times in the midst of all my moves when loneliness threatened became a foundation for my soul-life. Lonely times can be strategic times of holding all that is dear and stretching toward God. My life-messages have truly come from these times in my own life. Turn despair into hope, and you will find light in your darkness if you turn your heart towards Him.

And most of all, clothe your heart with a decision to take joy every day—notice God’s fingerprints, see the colors and beauty, and breathe the moments of every day into your memory with as much grace as your heart will allow. This is the day the Lord has made---practice rejoicing and you will find yourself more content.

And lastly, give yourself generously to someone who needs a lift, a word of encouragement, a call, hope—give one bit of yourself to someone outside of your family, and your heart will be lifted when you exercise compassion on someone less fortunate than you.

I pray you will find peace this holiday season as you take time to intentionally tend your soul!

Dear Friend, Chill & Breathe in Peace! & A Sarah & Joy podcast

I love Christmas and I have been thinking of you precious ones, serving so many, giving yourself away, in the midst of so much. I want you to take care of yourself and breathe in some fun--but you have to plan it, for sure. 

Every year, as the busy month of December is upon us, my girls and I would like to share some encouragement specific to this season and the craziness it sometimes brings! So sit down with a cup of tea or coffee or hot chocolate, and read this letter to you, from us-that I actually wrote to a sweet friend. Pretend it is from us to you!  (and from my girls to you. )

Today we speak of the need to make good choices always and always and refreshing your planning constantly so that you can live sustainably.

Dear Friend,

You wrote asking for a bit of help.  I, too, have felt a need for help so very often, and so I offer you my best advice on how to make it through December with some enjoyment!

Choose to Breathe in Grace and Peace

First of all, as my son Joel once told me, “chill out.” Take a little time for yourself and endeavor to gain some perspective. I hope something I say here may help. I have had to learn that no one else in the world will be responsible for my over-all well being. I have a husband, dog, friends and children who need me, and they are going to want to continue eating every day, make messes by just living in my home and want to wear relatively clean clothes, with the expectation that I will be the one to keep this going.

Recognize that Irritation and complaining may Indicate the state of your heart or physical exhaustion.

As we all know, if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. You can extend this to all women—if I ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy when I am spreading malice wherever I go. My being drained or sometimes down causes me to drain those in my immediate surroundings. So, I have to tend to my own happiness and well being, and you need to tend to yours, even in the midst of our practical busy-ness for others.

I am responsible for my rest, my quiet time, my eating and exercise, filling my cup, so that it will not be empty when others want and need to keep taking and taking from me.  I am also the manager of my "chill time." Laughing and lightening up really brings health to the bones. ("A joyful heart is good medicine" has been proved by medical research1) It is God's will for me to survive with grace.

There are tasks calling my name around the house, but I have become the queen of turning my head away, doing my best to stick to my most important priorities. I have found that there will be just as many things screaming for my attention tomorrow ... and tomorrow ... and tomorrow.

But today, I know that my body and mind need a little rest and my emotions are a bit frayed, and I will become grumpy if I don't create a little break.

No one else is going to tell me when I have reached my limit—I have to recognize my limitations.

If I do not monitor myself, my commitments, my friends, my children and husband and I will come to regret it when I blow!  I am steward of my limitations and body. If I don't protect my  walk with the Lord, that too will get eaten up in everyone else's agenda.

Though still learning, I am always simplifying and evaluating if something is worth the effort.  Making things beautiful and special during the holidays IS worth the effort as it builds the taste and values and work ethic and ministry skills of my children, but I have to make adjustments in different life seasons, and not go overboard.

Everyone says it, but its true: simplify!

Not everything "we have always done," actually has to be done this year. Fast food with candles lit is just fine. Then again, it may not be worth it to answer one more phone call or one more email--as this will certainly steal from my children and husband who need me today. Perhaps making dinner at home tonight will be the priority I will choose.

Be Yourself

Each of us has a different puzzle and different personality, and we must accept our limitations within our own story and be comfortable being ourselves. There is great freedom in deciding to enjoy who I am, as I am not going to essentially change any time soon! I see so many moms seeking to live up to other's expectations and ideals and then burning out in the process. I have high work times, followed by times when I just can't get anything done--and somehow the world does not crash even when I take time to just live and enjoy, and avoid the "I have to do everything or I will be a failure" syndrome.

Take time for tea.

This is why I take time to have my cup of tea every day--a way of saying, "I will take time for a moment of pleasure and peace, because it centers me, and I have decided I will last a lot longer in this very long distant race, if I build anchors of serendipity into my schedule."If you and I don't make peace with our own life circumstances, then we are in danger of cultivating a heart of bitterness, inadequacy, guilt, or whining, or possibly blowing apart into oblivion. But if we become the conductors of our own life symphonies and live within our own melody of life, we will last longer more gracefully with the God of grace who leads us.

Spend time in God's word and let Him love you-- and you love Him back. He came for you. He came to comfort. Let His comfort be yours. You cannot find peace without the Prince of peace.

Time for Chocolate—what do you do for a little, one woman break?

Take time to regroup today--Go eat some chocolate, and don't feel guilty as you are eating it (that would certainly be a waste of good chocolate!) Listen to some beautiful music, watch a heart-warming movie, take a nap, eat off of paper plates to save cleanup! The rest of December is still coming and you will be the better for it. I'll be praying for you!

Love, Sally (and Sarah and Joy)