Help! I'm Drowning: Weathering the Storms of Life with Grace & Hope & Giveaway

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In a few weeks, I will be turning 68, pretty close to 7 decades. Some day, most of you will be my age and you will look down the corridors of your past life and either you will be thankful for the decisions you made or you will have regrets.

I am very grateful for the life God has led me to live. But, most of my legacy has come through very difficult passages where I was tempted to give up on ideals, wondering if I could make it through, pondering if the work of my life as a mom, wife, actually mattered or if I was just blowing it. There were years of loneliness and isolation and disappointment.

Yet, most of these passages required that I make hard decisions of faith, perseverance, forgiveness, hard work, steadfastness through life storms that threatened to overwhelm me.

The truth is, we are living in a fallen world, filled with storm after storm—culturally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, philosophically.

Yet, choices made in the midst of life storms determined the trajectory of my whole life—my fruitfulness came from doing the hard things that scripture and God required of me, time after time.

The decisions you make during hard times will determine the trajectory and direction your life will take and what story you will tell when you are 70. Often it meant that my friends were not making the same decisions, many times I watched as others compromise and justify their decisions during hard times. Of course I am not perfect, but I did learn personally that,

"Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.” Matt. 7:13-14

God desires that we flourish, but we must obey His word and walk His ways.

That is why I wrote Help, I’m Drowning. I wanted to share some of the storms I faced and how walking with God, holding His hand, led me to a life of flourishing and one in which He was building my life on the rock of eternal values. I hope you will join me and buy your own copy and be encouraged right where you are in your own storms and difficulties in life.

Today, as I begin the process of putting this into the world, I wanted to provide you with the introduction and first chapter that will set up the book and why I wrote it. To read the beginning of the book, go HERE.

To celebrate, I will also be giving away one personal mentoring session, where I can meet the winner online, pray with you, and encourage you right where you are. Just share with a friend on facebook, insta or comment and you will be entered. I can’t wait to tell you all that we have prepared for you with this book.

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• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

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• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Spend Time with People More Excellent Than You!

One of the best gifts of my life was that an older woman took it upon herself to be my friend and to encourage me. Her surprise birthday tea last summer was a perfect send off to me as I prepared to go to Oxford. She taught me how important it was to have mentors who called you to your best self. I was happy some years ago to see how this advice played out in the lives of my children.

Many years ago, Nathan and Joy and I attended a national actors, singers, and dancers competition where the kids competed in a number of events. One of the perks of the competition was that the kids got to meet with real Hollywood producers, agents, and record companies, as well as some directors and marketers from Broadway.

A poised woman, perfectly styled blonde curls, large blue eyes, and sophisticated clothing was the evaluator for a performance in music and acting. She was a Broadway producer who wrote an evaluation after performances. With a poised demeanor and gentle tone, the experienced woman said,

"You are indeed quite naturally talented at acting and communicating. However, what you need the most is to be surrounded by people who are more talented and more experienced than you, who will challenge you to move further ahead in your skills. It is always wise to put yourself in the company of others who are more excellent than you."

What great advice, and how needed in the lives of my children at the time! I have adopted this principle in my own life for many years. When I read, "He who walks with the wise will be wise" in Proverbs, I began to look for those friendships and acquaintances with women who challenged me to be "more" than what I already was. I seek out excellence in most arenas in my life--not because I have it together, but because I always want to be growing.

Cultural voices tell us that we deserve a break, that it is okay to compromise. Standards of life for most people are quite mediocre. These voices give us permission to rest on the laurels of whatever we’ve already accomplished, and to stay complacent.

Yet, I believe if we understand that we have an amazing capacity and call to be like Christ, hard working, bright, authoritative, influential--because we are crafted in the very image of God to be like Him, then we will always be straining, in a positive way, to become all that He created us to be and to fulfill our capacity in life.

Intentionally placing ourselves in the company of other excellent people; reading inspiring and challenging books, studying scripture in depth, practicing anything in which we would like to become more excellent, will expand our capacity to accomplish great works in our lifetime.

God disciplines us, stretches us, and trains us that we might become more like Jesus--so our hearts might reflect more of His sacrificial life and love and when someone sees us, they will be looking at the very character of Jesus. He delights in using normal, run-of-the-mill people to do great things for His kingdom. Rarely did He choose "important" people to be the ones who experienced a miraculous life.

So, how about you? What kind of woman do you want to be when you grow up? What can you read this summer to better your mind? What can you do to shore up your weaknesses? How can you stretch yourself to become more of the woman Christ created you to be?

It is only in being intentional and purposeful about your life that you will grow. And in growing, your heart and soul will become more fulfilled, because God's will, which is that we become more "holy"--set apart for His purposes--is indeed good and acceptable and perfect.

No one but you can make you more excellent--you must want it and work for it yourself!

So, start a group, join a Bible study, make up a new exercise plan, develop a skill, take some lessons, meet with a mentor--make this summer one of growth, stretching and inspiration so in a few months you will be amazed at the progress you have made, and in conquering one or two areas of growth, others will also fall into place.

We Honor and Obey Parents: Our 24 Family Ways #3

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24 Family Ways # 3

We honor and obey our parents in the Lord with a respectful attitude.

Memory Verse:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother

(which is the first commandment with a promise)

so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.

Ephesians 6: 1-2

Countless literally thousands of early mornings through my lifetime, I would arise early, light candles, make a cup of tea and sit quietly with my Bible before the Lord. Faith is not built in a moment, but over a lifetime. Yet, now, in this season, I understand more profoundly how important it is for us to store up and live daily by the wisdom of God. Every day I feel these ideals become even more important, as I watch the difficulties in the world grow greater and mamas growing weary. Sometimes that weariness causes us to neglect to train our children to honor us—which in turn causes even more weariness!

From the first days of life, we speak the attitudes of faith into our little babies. When we treat them with gentleness and respond to them with patience and treat them as little infants of great value, we are already training the value of honor and respect into their brain patterns.

We are living in a time in which everyone is fair game for criticism, every person can be devalued. Especially in online places, there seems to be no decorum that would suggest we should treat others with respect our of our respect for Christ.

If we do not teach our children the value of honoring us as parents, or adults in charge of them, or people in positions of authority, then they will never have a trained heart attitude that says, “I must bow the wishes and needs of my own heart in order to please God.

Children must be taught to submit, even as we adults need to remember that we are to be people who can submit. God is our King and maker and He is in authority over us. We must place areas of practicing this in real life in order for our children to understand what it means to fear and serve our wonderful God.

Honor is a value that must have precedence in a home so that a child can understand the importance of  people, and to learn to bow their knee before others who deserve respect.

Honor comes with humility—the ability to see others as more important than ourselves. To teach honor and obedience means we will have to occasionally cross our children’s wills. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary. I hope this podcast is an encouragement to you, and that you’ll get your own copy of this book which will be a blessing to your family!

Our 24 Family Ways: A Family Devotional Guide

By Clarkson, Clay

Stay Fast To Your Ideals! Every Tiny Bit of Faithfulness Adds UP!

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Many of you know that I am happily and anxiously awaiting the arrival of a precious grandchild, Sarah’s little girl. As I was sitting in the late afternoon sun yesterday, sipping my tea, I was pondering my own sweet little girl, now become woman.

Sarah is delightful. She is an artist in everything—the way she decorates and brings life and beauty to the walls of her home; the spread of food and table decor she prepares to make every meal a visual and taste experience; she spins words together in such a way that she paints living pictures through each story; she plays her Celtic piano pieces and brings dramatic soulful music to life. There are so many things about her now that I am amazed at and have grown to appreciate about her.

Yet, when I first held her, I could not have even imagined all of the ways she would grow and the deep heart of faith and love she would embrace as an adult.. But now I know that each sacrifice I learned to make, each kiss, each late night song as I was nursing; each bedtime story, each moment of training or correction added up to the full person she has become. It all adds up. Nothing is wasted.

As I have been thinking of so many of you, my friends, I know that many of you are feeling weary, overwhelmed, exhausted, as though nothing you are doing matters. And yet, I now know that holding fast to ideals, being faithful one day upon another is what actually builds a life. Stay fast, your labor is not in vain.

I have looked back through the life storms and stresses I encountered and it was holding fast to God’s faithfulness and promises that kept me fast through all the days and years. And now, I know that staying strong and faithful through all the years is what built my own precious one into the woman she has become. And though you can’t see it yet, your thousands of moments of faithfulness is shaping that child into what will become a strong, loving, faithful adult.

I wanted to share some of my favorite verses that kept me going, gave hope, comfort and direction through the years of my own journey. Click the button below to receive 12 Anchoring Verses to Hold Onto Hope, a beautiful poster filled with some of my favorite verses.

I hope my little podcast and the verses will serve you in encouraging you right where you are today.

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Strength for the Day, Hope for Tomorrow

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Strength: The capacity or ability of something or someone to withstand great force or pressure

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil. 4:13

I receive hundreds of letters each month from precious ones who are bearing so much in life—the heart break of beloved prodigals; illness, relationship conflict; exhaustion, isolation in marriage, financial problems, stress and pressure of every kind.

I pray for all of you who write me and know how hard life can be. Yet, as I was praying, I was asking myself, how in the world did I make it through? So many challenges, seasons of stress and discouragement, and all the things mentioned in my online mail.

There was a principle that I began to learn and slowly grew in that helped me make it through one day at a time. It was learning to tap into God’s strength. Learning that I was not alone. Understanding how to let Him carry my burdens so that I could strain into my capacity to bear life’s demands.

Not long ago, my sweet granddaughter, Lily, was at my house. I was trying to move the groceries off the dining table so that I could set it for dinner. She loves to help, so she chimed in, “I’ll do it!” But, alas, the grocery bag was way too heavy for her little hands. “You help me, Queenie.”

And so I placed my hands next to hers and together, we lifted the heavy bag and placed it on the chair near my cabinet where I could unload them.

She looked up at me with big blue eyes, full of pride, and said, “You and I can lift really heavy things. We are so strong!”

It was a picture of God’s gentle and capable help of me in my own life-His capable hands on mine help me carry the loads.

Today on my podcast, I speak of what it looks like to find God’s strength, with Him lifting the load with me, no matter what I am carrying, no matter how heavy the burden. I share some of my favorite verses about His strength. I pray that it will encourage you along your own path. And I pray you will know God’s love in your journey.

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

It's Not Easy Being a Child (or Teen, or Adult, for that Matter!) These Days

It's not easy being a child these days.

No matter how adult my children are, no matter where they are, they will always and always be in my thoughts and prayers, every day, all the time. Why? Because they are connected to my heart. And I know that life in the big wide world is not easy to manage. I know this because it is not easy for me to always navigate.

I listen to my children, others, talking around tables, gathered in groups at restaurants; watch their characterization on television shows and movies. I wonder if we understand as well as we think we do what it's really like to grow up during this season. Sometimes it seems that so much has changed, today's children live in a different world than the one I grew up in. The hurried, harried pace of it all wearies me as a mother, and I can only imagine its effect on this generation which has known nothing else.

As the world's raging current rushes past our homes, what happens inside?

Are we creating spaces of peace for our children? When they come to us with the hard questions about the difficult things in life, do we have real answers for them? Are we well-equipped to buffer the young ones from the onslaught of the world even as we prepare them to make their way--and even overcome-- in it? Do we give support when their lives are dark and difficult and love them through each passage?

They say the more things change, the more they stay the same. And I do believe this is true when we think about what our children really need from us as mothers.

They don't need sweet platitudes of faith that will momentarily placate their emotions. They need the authentic strength that comes from the true foundation of a biblical worlveiw and a proper understanding of the real Christ who is worthy of their worship. They need an unwavering, internal moral and spiritual compass that will help them weather today's storms and tomorrow's and will guide them for the rest of their lives. They also need to see what real faith looks like when lived day in, day out; so they will have a pattern to follow.

The process of providing such gifts to my children is what I've come to think of as the ministry of motherhood. I believe it's central to the calling of anyone God has privileged to bring children into this world.

If you are a mother, it's your ministry too." ~from The Ministry of Motherhood

How do you feel about the ministry of motherhood?

We Read the Bible Daily and Pray: Our 24 Family Ways #2

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Way #2 We read the Bible every day and pray to God with an open heart. 

Memory Verse

"All scripture is inspired by God, and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for instruction  in righteousness, so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work."

II Tim 3: 16-17

When Sarah was giving a talk several years ago, she said something that heartened me. She remembered waking up early in the mornings to find me sitting in my favorite chair in the living room or another in my bedroom, reading my Bible.

"I knew her diligence and devotion was what shaped her life, and it always made me expect that I could learn and hear from God in my own life," Sarah shared as she talked of what personal integrity looked like in reality.

The habit of coming to God every day, taking time specifically to seek Him, to listen to Him, to ponder His ways and engage in His truth is the most profound action that will shape your life.

I hardly need to say I was not perfect, and some stressful, crisis seasons found this habit not happening every single day. Yet I found that reading God's word and praying was essential to my ability to continue taking one more step in the direction of my own ideals--the fuel for my strength when life was exhausting. It is a habit I want to help others learn how to develop.

If I am serious about God, I must be serious about investing in Him. Others need the truth He teaches me. More voices and messages invade the sound waves of our brains today than ever before. Living in a melting pot of cultures, where all religions and values and morals drift together and are said to be equal; where all varieties of moral behavior are validated and find acceptance; where television and film and the internet smudge the clear borders of truth every day, promoting violent behavior and dark themes; means the call to teach children has never been more important or profoundly necessary.

Praying this podcast is helpful to you as you walk alongside your children in this important practice!

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

Our 24 Family Ways: A Family Devotional Guide

By Clarkson, Clay

More Resources:

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Joy and Sally: Cuteness and Fun

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For a long time, I have wanted to do a weekly podcast that was just fun, informative, about what we are doing in the UK and tidbits of this and that.

Today, Joy and I took a bit of time and talked about:

*Floral dresses down to your calf—a new fashion statement.

*Should I cut my hair very very short—and wear earrings, lipstick and lovely, cute dresses so I look feminine? My fringe, (bangs) are driving me crazy!)

*Virtue—what is it and how do we develop it? It is something to know or more than that?

*A conference about Burnout you won’t want to miss on Life With Sally.

*Ponder joining me on the launch team for Help, I’m Drowning: Weathering the Storms of Life with Grace and Hope

*A Heartfelt Movie you won’t want to miss: Tears and happy heart smiles all around

*A Book Club with Speaking With Joy—Do you want to grow, have friends and have fun? Joy is hosting an online book club on Susanna Clarke’s book Piranesi. Join in!

And sooooo much more. Let me know if you like this kind of podcast and of course, share with your friends.

Off to my Bible study. Happy Day to all.

Sally and Joy

Kindness: The Act of Choosing to Be Benevolent to Another, For Christ's Sake

Have kindly affection one for another with brotherly love, in honor preferring one another;

Romans 12:10

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Every once in a while, God shows His very personal kindness , personal provision, in ways in my life that I would not even known to ask for, but that are considerate of me in very generous ways. Sometimes you just need something you didn’t know to ask for. My friend, Jacqui, is such a gift of kindness to me. We originally met a few years ago when I was visiting in town and offered to meet women at C. S. Lewis’s house to speak for an hour and to host a time of encouragement. About 50 women showed up, including Jacqui. We have been friends now for several years.

I am naturally independent by nature. I am used to taking care of many details and working hard. Recently, I have found myself experiencing great pain through an incidence with my lower back, a ruptured disc and a sciatic nerve issue. It hurts when I walk, even when I sit or move. I hate to be vulnerable and a burden on others. Yet, here I am. I must wait until someone brings me a cup of tea instead of going down my steep steps one more time. I have to order taxis instead of walking places with my family. And I need help shopping for groceries, as usually I do it on foot, as we are without a car.

In comes my friend, Jacqui. She has shown up at my house bringing me treats, groceries, taking me to places in her car, carrying bags for me. She comes early to my Bible studies to help set up chairs, treats, and to make tea and coffee. She even scours charity shops to find extra mugs so I can have real china to serve everyone present with a beautiful cuppa.

I was thinking the other day how much her unexpected and unasked for kindness has meant to me. Not only do we have fun together each week as she drives an hour from London to be with me, but her kindness to me in a very challenging time has touched a deep place in my heart. Giving to me out of the benevolence of he own life without me having to ask is a picture of Christ to me.

So, we went out to celebrate by splitting breakfast goodies and coffee at a favorite restaurant together. We even found a bush filled with these beautiful flowers as we were walking toward the cafe.

The word of the week is Kindness which is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate, thoughtful to meet needs without being asked. Kindness exhibits a good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person: a kind and loving person. having, showing, or proceeding from benevolence: kind words. indulgent, considerate, or helpful; humane (often followed by to): mild; gentle. Most of all, though, it is an actual representation of what Christ is like lived out in the real moments of life. He expressed His overwhelming kindness to us out of his “kin-ship”, special love for us, his beloved children.

One of my favorite verses speaks of kindness as one of the ways God draws people, (our children and friends) to Himself: Romans 2:4

 Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and [a]restraint and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?

There it is—kindness leads us to repentance, bowing our knee, believing in God’s mercy because of HIs kindness towards us.

Kind from “kin”—related to, relatives—benevolence to those close to you—God is Kind toward us because He sees us as His own—And so, when we ingest His kindness, we pour out God’s kindness to others because of His loving kindness to us. 

Here are some of my favorite “kind” verses. Memorize one or two and write down ways you will show the kindness of God this week.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.

Ephesians 4:32

Luke 6:35 But love your enemies and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil people.

Ephesians 4:32

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Colossians 3:12

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,

Proverbs 31: 26

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

As I end this week, Joy & Clay have also shown exceeding kindness. She has served me tirelessly, made meals, endless cups of tea, Clay has washed dishes, shopped for groceries, organized our lives. I am seeing how much kindness means to me—to be served so sweetly, without any malice or resentment. it is the kindness of God I have experienced, and now I am more than ever moved to learn to become more kind, considerate in active ways to others who need my attention.

Who needs your thoughtfulness, kindness this week? How can you display it to your children? Your friend? Your husband? God bless you, my friends.

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

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5 Tips for Building Friendships With Your Children!

“Mama, do you still love me?” is the question my children have asked me if they have failed or had doubts or stumbled on life’s path—and all of mine have at times and all of our children will.

Love, unconditional, present, active, steadfast is what will keep them coming back. If my heart and life is a safe haven, they will come back because they have learned that I am their forever friend through it all, no matter what. But there are practical ways in which we practice giving love. Here is some of what I have learned.

1. Time and Availability Whatever the age, children develop better when they know I will make our time together a priority. People grow close not through monitoring one another’s behavior but by working together, playing together, talking together, celebrating together, weeping together. Relationships develop when people are there for each other—and that’s as true for parents and children as it is for anyone else.

2. Acceptance and Unconditional Love In building meaningful relationships with my children, I must learn to accept unconditionally the person God made each of them to be—even with personality traits that differ from mine or that make me uncomfortable. I need to accept the “warts” and irritating characteristics that may never change. I have to love my children with a mature commitment that reaches past my feelings for them, which can change from circumstance to circumstance.

3. Affirmation and Encouragement I believe most children are acutely aware of their limitations and their failures. While they often need correction for their mistakes and even confrontation for their sinful selfishness, they also need recognition for their real efforts and accomplishments and positive reminders of who they can be with God’s help.

4. Grace Our children need us to give them the grace to grow. If we make them think that we expect perfection, then eventually they may give up trying to please us, because they know they will always fail, or they may spend their whole lives feeling guilty for their failures.

5. Relationship Training We need to consciously train our children in the skills and attitudes that will enable them to sustain positive relationships. A person can only experience true intimacy when his heart has been deepened and exercised in real love and commitment.