In the Cold of Winter Seasons, Find the Light

Cold winds have been swirling around with colder temperatures and the dark of early sunsets causing us in Oxford to prepare for some of the dark, damp winter days ahead. December holds beauty and meaningful advent celebrations as well as the possibility of feeling the weariness of busyness, and the relentlessness of daily life.

In my life as a mom, there have been countless times, I felt like I was not accomplishing anything productive from day to day. This is such a hard job, to love, educate and help shape our children's faith. It is especially challenging in a culture that offers so much differing advice, which then produce guilt and inadequacy. This same culture is isolationist and  provides few support systems or Biblical direction.

So many moms feel this way.

Five scriptures have been especially helpful to me when I am overwhelmed or exhausted—especially entering a demanding season like the holidays ahead.

1. “If God is for you, who can be against you?"Romans 8: 31

God is for you--for you. He wants you to succeed. He wants to work in your home. We are not adequate to complete the task of shaping our children's hearts, minds and souls by ourselves. When God's Spirit is working in our midst, He will take our fish and loaves, all that we have to give to Him, and together with Him, our labor becomes enough. He is for you, mamas, if your heart is to serve Him. He has compassion on you, knows your weariness, and is your champion.

2. "There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1

I wonder why we have the illusion that we are supposed to be perfect. Mamas, don't be so hard on yourselves! You will not ever be perfect or do everything right--not now, not next week, not even when you are 60! (Maybe when I am 70, I will be perfect1) And to live in guilt because you have blown it or yelled at your kids or made mistakes is a big drainer.

Your children will never be perfect, either. Love them as they are. Believe in them, touch them. Let little boys be boys, as you train them little by little to be heroes and leaders--civilization comes from a mama who treats them with respect, and gives them a heart to be dignified.

Let little ones be innocent and enter into their stages of life with joy.

3. "He lay down and slept under a juniper tree; and behold, there was an angel touching him, and he said to him, "Arise, eat." ~I Kings 19:5

Elijah was so weary from spiritual battle that he despaired of his life--wished he hadn't been born. But God knew he was exhausted, battle worn, and weary. So the first thing God did when Elijah poured out his heart to Him was to put him to sleep. Next, an angel touched him--physical touch, a hug, an embrace, a hand massage, a real massage, is a personal healer. I love it that God's angel touched Elijah and brought him physical comfort. God still didn't give Elijah a lecture--instead, the angel fed him.

Sometimes mamas have been going for so long without a break, they start breaking down! A wise woman will learn her limitations and learn to say "no" so that she does not live in a constant state of exhaustion. You can only hold so many ideals at once, so be sure to hold on the ones that matter. And do what you are best at doing--don't compare your life to someone else’s. You might need to start out your new beginning with sleep, a touch of gentle love, and eating well, perhaps exercising, and then take time to ponder and plan..

We are not just minds and hearts, we are bodies with limitations. If we over-exert ourselves, we will crash and burn. When others are taking from us 24/7, we must wisely learn that taking care of ourselves is essential to our emotional and spiritual and physical well being. This season, if you are tired, be sure to take a break--get some rest, seek some physical comfort and restoration, eat well. You deserve to be cared for--even if you have to plan for it yourself. For many years, I kept waiting for someone to give me permission to take a break, but that didn't happen. Finally, I took responsibility for my own happiness so that I could be happier and stronger for my kids on this long term journey.

4. "He who walks with the wise, grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm." ~Proverbs

You might need some inspiration, some help, some counsel, some perspective. Find someone older, more experienced, and wiser to meet with, and ask them to help you come up with a plan. Sometimes this is easier said than done. I have found that when I give up my pride and pour out my heart to wise people, I usually find compassion and often find help.

My mentors for many years were books. I was always hunting down books written by women or men older and more insightful in life. I determined to learn, and to grow every year.

This means being teachable, and changing when we need to. Find wise people, books, conferences, a church, the Word of God, and gain wisdom from them. Just decide to grow and progress every year; don't expect instant maturity on your part or your children's.

5."But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits." God's wisdom and leading lead us to peace, mercy and good fruit. Each of us must evaluate--what is stealing my peace? What is sucking my energy? How can I change it? This is a long distance run, not a spring--wisdom from above will teach you to pace yourself--and not to say yes just to please others. You are quite free to be yourself, live your own story, live within your own limitations.

What notions are misleading you? Boys are given testosterone from God for a reason--they are supposed to grow up and be strong! Work with them, accept their noise, invest in their hearts, don't try to control them--lead and inspire and train them little by little. (The 24 Family ways is a great tool for beginning to lay foundations for all the family together.)

What is not producing good fruit--your schedule? Your lack of rhythms and consistency with your children? Your lack of training with your children? Then put your finger on what is bothering you and make a practical step forward. How are you going to eliminate the stressors you have control over? How can you eliminate some of the drainers? What is one way you will become stronger and  more disciplined in the next month. Be very honest about what you must cut or quit doing or is your flaw and be vigilant about pursuing the wisdom that provides peace and good fruit. (part 1)

Welcoming Holiday Celebration with Joy

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“Tea is a sacred ritual in which friendship is treasured, hearts are shared and sweet memories are made.”

Sipping warm tea in my favorite blue hand crafted mug, while curled up in my pj's, I am listening to Christmas music, I am as happy as a clam. (how ever happy they are?!) Remember that bubbling excitement you felt as a child when you looked at a sparkling Christmas tree with presents underneath and anticipated Christmas morning? God Himself created us for pleasure and joy and comfort and beauty and all the deep down satisfying feelings of pleasure.He mounted a chorus of angels at the first birthday party of Jesus--He just couldn't hold back celebrating!

To me, Thanksgiving is the entry way to preparing my heart to be filled and renewed with a love for Christ. I need child-like excitement and gratitude to fill my heart again, so that I might bring light into my year ahead. Now is when I begin to play music that goes deep into my soul with words that point to the amazing incarnation of God become baby. I light candles galore and remember that He is the source of my light and goodness. I see Christmas as “preparing Him room,” indeed.

Part of my plan is to plan celebrations for each of my people, those given to me especially in my inner circle, times to affirm their deep value to my heart, ways to celebrate our friendship. Last week Sarah and I made space for a lovely tea time in London—hours to open the ponderings of our hearts to one another. And I have plans for all of my other lovelies that we might make time for one another amidst the “busy” of full lives.

Cherishing joy and creating it and placing pleasure into the difficulties of life is a way we become artists of light and beauty and creators in His image. Even as HE casts a glowing pink sunrise every morning for me to behold and honor and enjoy, so I can cast in the midst of darkness light, color and beauty that brings hope.

And so overcoming doesn't mean simply gutting it out, grinding our teeth in an, "I will make it if it kills me," sort of attitude.  It means crafting pleasure in the midst of darkness which eventually reaches our souls and helps us remember His light and beauty. And I have found that in the obedience of cultivating light and joy in my home and life, even when I do not feel it, invests in my eventual happiness because as my sweet ones around me, whom I serve become delighted in my life celebrations, my own soul becomes encouraged. I know it isn't Christmas yet, but I so enjoyed my George Winston Christmas album this morning in the early morning chill of dawn, and so it became a comfort to myself.

Today on Tea Time Tuesday, I offer an old favorite traditional Christmas album, that I listened to in my own home, (The Majesty and Glory of Christmas) tea sandwich recipes, a book of encouragement, Sarah’s favorite Christmas reads, Joel’s story about creating music, a Tea Time in London and why the train trips are some of the best part, and more. Praying blessing for each of you today, my friends. Jesus, coming into the world enlightens every man. Sending love your way.

Don’t miss this advent list of readings from Sarah:

Goodness: The Power to Fight Darkness

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Welcome to Tea Time Tuesday!

Tea is the gateway drug to biscuits!

I love this little card and I take it to heart. Almost every afternoon with my cup of tea, I either chop a large brownie or piece of cake into 4 smaller pieces and eat one at each tea time. Sometimes a dark, chocolate salted almond piece of chocolate (40 calories) and it makes me happy.

Today, I speak of an amazing man who literally searches for treasures all over the world. Such a metaphor to a life of looking for all that is good and beautiful.

Sometimes we find ourselves, in the privacy of our own world, exhausted from giving and giving and giving in this world that so needs the love and light of Christ. I am not speaking of overcommitment, but of the hidden and real circumstances that are upon our personal lives that sometimes require us to make decisions of our will and out of a spirit-led heart, to keep going forward in God’s ways and in obedience to Him, one day, one decision at a time.

Lately, in some weariness of my own, from culture, circumstances, work, and more, I have been pondering that my life lived as a servant leader of God has required more of me than I ever thought. And yet, by understanding how to make decisions of faith, endurance, and steadfastness, I have seen the Holy Spirit allow me to be a part of His bringing light to the world through me—and so daily, I count the cost and keep giving of myself.

When we read in the Word, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good,” this is a call out of passivity to action and into engaging, to spreading the moral excellence through each aspect of our lives that God has called us to. Today, I discuss what that has meant to me lately. I hope it will encourage you.

A tea drink called London Fog, an encounter with a real live treasure seeker, a Celeriac casserole, a favorite playlist, a favorite fiction that encourages goodness in the midst of evil, —one of my favorites and some Churchill words, and so much more in today’s Tea Time Tuesday. Pour yourself that tea and have a biscuit or sweetie.

If you haven’t yet, be sure to order your copy of my newest book, Givng Your Words:

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Why Stories Matter (& Nathan's New Movie!)

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I recently released my latest book Giving Your Words (if you haven’t already, be sure to order your copy today!). With this book, I sought to explore the power that words have in shaping the souls of our children.

One of the most powerful ways words can affect the hearts of children is through the amazing art of story. God used his words to breathe all of scripture, which we use to shape and guide us, and all of scripture is filled with stories. This reality of God loving and speaking to us through story is something I took to heart when my children were very young. So from the time they could understand, I began filling their minds and hearts, reading to them day after day, year after year, from great and wonderful stories. Each word of every great tale of history, fantasy, fiction, and more, poured into their hearts giving them an understanding of who God is, visions for the heroes they could become, and wonder for the world they live in.

Stories have the power to shape, move, and create us. Unfortunately, now we live in a time when the stories that are being told today are void of the life-giving beauty that God intended and are instead displaying narratives of anger, dysfunction, immorality, despair, and shallowness. As a result, a tired and broken world is so often left without tales that would draw them closer to their creator and stories that can show them who they were made to be.

Nathan was always my story-boy. As he struggled with learning disabilities like dyslexia and ADHD, and mental illness like OCD, his heart was always drawn to great stories of heroes that served as a salve to the pain he experienced and an inspiration for who he could become. I would spend endless hours reading aloud to Nathan as a child, as he would lay sprawled out on the floor drawing the scenes I would narrate. Then he started writing his own stories and acting them out in the backyard with his friends. Fast-forward to today, Nathan is now a professional actor who has not only acted in TV shows and movies but also writes and produces his own movies. It should be no wonder to me that my little boy who was so drawn to great stories as a child, would grow up with a desire to tell them himself.

Nathan has a deep desire to tell great stories that have the power to change lives, inspire hearts, and draw people back to their creator. Nathan does this by writing and producing movies about faith, family, and redemption. Something our world desperately needs more of right now. Which is why I am so excited to tell you about Nathan's new film project...

The film he's making is called Bright Sky. It's a modern faith-based western, taking place in a small town, following a single mother, a young boy, and an outlaw, each reaching for redemption. The movie is filled with romance, redemption, faith, and family, the things that hearts need more of from their stories today.

But Nathan needs help in making this beautiful script into a movie, so he's created a crowdfunding page with amazing incentives/rewards to support the film like staying a night in our family home in Colorado, getting an acting lesson from Nathan himself, or even getting a line in the movie!

The world is a dark and broken place — it always has been, but now more than ever we are seeing how very needed telling good stories is. Stories have the power to change and inspire us in ways nothing else does. I hope you'll join us in this journey of bringing a good story to life that just might be the thing to help a world in need.

To support the movie and find out more about the project CLICK HERE or on the image below:

FOR MORE

  • Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

  • Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

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  • Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

  • Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more

Building a House for Eternity

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“The wise woman builds her house,
But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.”

Proverbs 14:1

A messy, casual tea with friends over hours of talking, sharing dreams, confessing inner secret thoughts, being understood, loved—that is a gift. Wish you could have joined me!

I have prayed about the priorities the Lord has for me in the years ahead, and I I still want to leave a legacy of encouraging, teaching, coming alongside mothers who are in the trenches. I still think if is some of the most profound work of life.

Many years ago, I realized that because I was a mother, I was automatically under a different set of responsibilities than my unmarried friends or my married friends who had no children. With the privilege of bearing children comes the responsibility to commit wholeheartedly to the care of those children.

As a woman who has enjoyed a career of teaching, speaking, counseling, and writing, I have had to make many difficult decisions to cut my career opportunities in order to focus on my family priorities. However, I have come to realize that embracing God's call to the duties of motherhood doesn't diminish my abilities to use my gifts, strength, and training, but fulfills a part of God's design.

Loving my children, protecting them, building them into a godly heritage is a life's work worth far more than any money or status I might find in a career. If the mother who gave her children life is not willing to do what it takes to provide security, love, protection, instruction, and stability for her own children, then who will be willing to do so? Many will be as orphans in a crowded world, longing for the security they were supposed to find in their own family.

If we want to experience a sense of wholeness to our lives: we must understand His original design. We will then have a map by which to travel toward God's destination. We need to do more than understand. We must commit to living as mothers with undivided hearts—dedicating ourselves fully to the task of building a home, nurturing our children.

Lots of fun on Tea Time Tuesday today—children’s books, music, a brunch menu, a fun story—So glad to have you join me.

Minding Our Minds

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What if someone could read your thoughts—would you like what they see?

Worship the Lord Your God with all of your mind, we are told.

I call it “minding your mind” because thinking, learning, understanding, creating—so many things we do with our minds, are to be a focus of our worship of God. Worshipping God with our mind requires a focus, intentionality, effort, a plan.

"As a man thinks, so is he." Proverbs. 23:7

Often we think of worship as singing, praising and lifting our arms up to God. But to worship God means to honor Him and to place Him as our lens of focus through which we see and live all of our lives.

Filling our minds with truth, pondering Christ, cherishing that which is holy is a part of this worship. God admonishes us to "delight ourselves in His law." Psalm 1; to hide His word in our hearts and minds; to think true thoughts.

We are told to think only on those things which are worthy of Him:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Philippians 4:8

What we eat, we become—so it is with food for thought, what we consume determines what we think, how we behave. What do you feed your every day? Are you reading noble stories? Filling your mind with God's word? With truth? Rejecting thoughts that lead you to bitterness, strife or worldliness?

We are destroying arguments and all arrogance raised against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,

II Corinthians 10: 5

Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ--take every wrong thought and make it a prisoner who will submit.

Worshipping God with our mind takes intention, investment, time.

I have never met a deeply spiritual leader who did not think deeply, clearly and well. My spiritual mentors are those who cause me to think more highly of God. They are those who sharpen me with their ponderings of God, Christ, thoughts of eternity, truth, doctrine.

Worshipping God with our minds requires a commitment, a plan, an intention.

Join me on my podcast today for more on thoughts.

Seasons of Life

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“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”
― Albert Camus

There were many times in my life when I would feel, “I don’t think I will make it through this season. I am not strong enough. I don’t feel like I can make it.”

But then I would make it and come out of the season into another. But as I look back now, I realize that seasons—singleness, marriage, parenting, birthing, raising children, growing older, are all seasons of life that we pass through. God even built seasons into nature as a picture to us that mirrors our real lives—Spring, a time of renewal and rebirth; Summer: a time of planting and growing; Fall: A Time of closing and change; Winter: a time of cold, barrens, roots going deep, appearance that all is gone when in actuality, deep growth is taking place.

Today, I am sharing in my public podcast a bible study I recorded this month for all of the people who are in my membership, Life With Sally. I teach a Bible study each month. (As well as legacy talks from many years of conferences, An Awaking Wonder Education focus, recipes, classical composers, traditions, printable, books for women, and soooo much more. I would be so happy to have you join me in my monthly membership because it is a wonderful community of women gathered together for inspiration and discipleship.

Hope it encourages you today.

But remember, whatever season you find yourself in is eventually going to pass. But God is aware of your season and He will give you wisdom, strength, grace to walk through the seasons with Him by your side to provide you with insight and understanding into the ways he is working in the world.

What season are you in right now? I pray you will find hope wherever you find yourself. Praying for you all.

Tea Time Tuesday: Our Dwelling Shapes Us

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We shape our dwellings and afterwords, our dwellings shape us.

Winston Churchill

October always thrills me to my toes. Each year, a walk amongst rustling leaves, a slight chill in the air, books read outlaid, meals shared, extended teatimes—all have given me pleasure for so long, it still sings joy in my heart to think of it.

* I hope you will plan to make special memories with your friends, neighbors, children, spouses this month. In many parts of the nation—and certainly in our little corner of Colorado—autumn is the time when the temperatures drop and a chill is felt in the air.

*What fun I had being whisked away with some friends (Paris and northern UK) for an afternoon of chatting and catching up in the lovely Cotswolds, a collection of towns with off-white stone walls queried from the local hills. Cotswold means Hills with Sheep. And that is what you see—-grassy hills with lazy sheep grazing and munching their dinner. My friend gave me a lovely little box of tea from Paris to sip after they left—and guess what?! It was blue—as you can see in the photo above. You’ll have to listen to my podcast to find out what makes it blue—and to hear another of my new favorite teas. It was quite light and refreshing.

*For many years, Clay and I have built our deep companionship over hours of shared cups of tea and sharing hearts, dreams, burdens, and life. I had you peek into our own shared memory because it has lent to us growing closer over years, one cup of tea at a time.

Curling up together on the long cold nights often found the Clarksons reading an epic tale together. One that you must read at some point is A Tale of Two Cities, both historical and literature tied into one tale.

You will love Music for the Lifegiving Home by Joel Clarkson to spread lovely music through your rooms.

A Taco Train (or Tostado Train) is what I am feeding groups in my home this month.

More thoughts of things that make your home a happy one.

When the places inside home are intentionally crafted, these seasons can become the places where memories can be shaped and stored forever. Grace to you. Tell me what is happening in your world.

The Grace of Aging Well

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My beautiful, huge tree took decades to grow strong and tall. Storms, drought, many seasons it was in the making. 

“Though youths grow weary and stumble, tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary” (Isaiah 40:30-31)

Isaiah tells us that when we are young, we stumble, grow weary. When I was young, I was guessing at how to live life well. With each child, each year of marriage, and each year of work, I grew stronger little by little in faith, relationships, work, wisdom, and life. I learned that struggling does not have to define my whole life. Evidently, it was common even in ancient history for younger in life to strain towards flourishing, to seek to come up with answers, to live into ideals while stumbling.

There are many gifts of aging, gaining experience. It comes from waiting, learning, storing up experience and understanding. Yet, our culture is not inclined to appreciate the value of age or the richness of wisdom in contrast to choosing over-confidence and cleverness of youth. Those who have grown older through many years of ideals and trials, yet held fast to God, even in the darkness, have bought for their toil, perspective, wisdom and humility, gentleness.

The older one becomes, the more one understands how little power or control we have over life, circumstances and relationships. The understanding of fighting and scrambling for the things of this world, seeking to make life tame its raging storms, shaking our fist at heaven, becomes futile to one who is focusing more on eternity.

The gift of aging wisely is humility, gentleness and patience. Humility, because of a realization of how finite we are, how much we need and depend on God's grace for our very life; gentleness, because we are ourselves in such need of gentle compassion and love from others in our own frailty; patience, because we have learned that nothing happens on our time schedule, but that in the end, God is good.

These gifts are only for those who determine to chase after Him, who hold fast, even in darkness, who choose to believe when they cannot see.

Living a Story That holds a Legacy

“The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.”
― G.K. Chesterton

I would love to have this little lamp—isn’t it the best?

As I sit in my warm, candlelit kitchen/sitting room, sipping my tea, I was pondering what it is that keeps one going forward in the battle of life. Chesterton gets it right. We are willing to fight for what is right, give our time to the training of human souls to teach them the stories to hold on to, and staying steadfast because we have loved and tasted the goodness that life was meant to hold.

Seems that life is flying by again for me during this season. As I watch the leaves rain softly to the ground, the colors give their last bit of glory before disappearing into a pile on the ground. I am reminded that my own life reflects seasons. I want to take advantage of this time to its fullest that I may have been a good soldier in this battle between darkness and light & left a bit of the glory and light I have known.

Chesterton also articulated my philosophy for children:

“Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed.”
― G.K. Chesterton.

My goal with my family was help them realize they would have a part in the slaying of dragons in their world, & to cultivate the imagination that dragons could be slain by them..

Teatime Tuesday this week has a lovely colorful salad recipe, an interesting movie, a thought about Angela Lansbury’s life, a favorite children’s book, a new tea I have loved and a grand story of how God was working through a great story behind the scenes and showed His hand in surprising ways.

Much of our dragon-slaying takes place in obscure moments, hidden training to face the battle, times to learn just what the goodness is that is worth giving our lives to—but we are warriors nonetheless.

Praying for you, my sweet friends, that you may have strength, mercy and grace for your life today. Take time to enjoy and breathe in peace—make it a habit—”life is indeed a long obedience in the same direction.”