The Myth of a Perfect Life

First attempt

second attempt

Third time's the charm

Seems like in all areas of life, maturity, productivity, effectiveness is a process--often takes practice to begin getting it right--just like these pictures--finally we got an acceptable one.

No one is perfect--our lives take many days, months, years of practice and hard work to come out fruitful in time.

One of my friends said, "Sally, it seems with all of your candle lighting and tea cups and flowers and focus on joy, that your life was just easier than mine and that you had  more perfect  children.

We are surrounded by myths or women who seem to "have it more together" than we do. But the reality is, we are living in a fallen world and there will always be challenges, obstacles, temptations and weariness. But the glory of a woman is to learn how to overcome and civilize--and the key to lasting well is living in grace, rest, peace and love.

Join me today on

Momheart.org

for a video blog about the Myth of a Perfect Life and how to accept limitations and live with grace and peace and joy.

Let me know how you like these little videos as I am hoping to more snippets from the conferences online, like this, to bring my talks to life online--and you can find many of them now on our bookstore on this blog, at momheart.org and at wholeheart.org.

We are slowly trying to get blogs, messages and resources out there to encourage you because we have been so blessed by your lives.

Have a grace-filled day!

(The video is up on Momheart.org now--still working out the glitches!)

Easing into Monday--a necessity in order to last the long distance life run

Coffee at one of my favorite Austrian cafes--always in a china cup, always a little spoon to stir with, always flowers and always a little glass of water to chase it down. Wish there was such a cafe down the street!

Do you ever feel like more people want you and there is more demanded of you than you can possible give? Motherhood is fraught with a gazillion days like that. And today is another one. I am a real feeler--probably the most possible on a Myers Briggs personality test. I want everyone to be happy all the time, no conflict, all rosy.

The real life of a woman in her home is not a Pollyanna place very often. There are issues without, issues within, needs of everyone in my family, and people wanting me to call and people I should call and home tasks that need to be done, and so today, I am easing into Monday--taking deep breath, and figuring out how to manage this life--both public and private--to last long and to plan strategically about what I can reasonably hope to accomplish in the next few months and still be alive.

Today, after 4 days straight of being out of our own beds, again, and picking up the inevitable pieces. So, to keep my own self alive and to give myself a few little pleasures in my day, I am going to:

Have a white chocolate cappacino--just because I want one.

I am going to go for a walk on the trails near our home to expel some adrenalin.

I am going to sneak into my bedroom with doors closed fast and light candles, put on some music and just gaze out the window and sort out what is in my heart.

I am going to skype Sarah as she is such a chum, I will be refreshed to catch up.

And then, of course, I will spend most of my day getting things done--lots of piles of things and take it all at a casual pace instead of breakneck, as it will all still be waiting for me tomorrow, but today, I will give my body some pace to help it last longer.

But I have found over the years, what goes up, must come down.Weekends are always a little more adventuresome and adrenalin draining and so  Mondays are that sort of winding down and easing back into real life day. Weekends are off schedule, activities, sweets, church, friends, food--and then it is "getting back to the grind" Mondays.

I think Mondays are days for grace--be kind to yourself. Put beauty into your day. Turn on some music. Kiss a few people and touch them. Dance to music as you wash the dishes.

Get a cup of coffee with an extra shot.  Eat at least one square of dark sea salt chocolate almond. Forgive yourself today. If you forgive yourself, you won't be so grumpy and harsh and we all know that harshness creates tension--it doesn't create order.

"Mom, when you feel happy and sing and dance around the house, we all feel like we are on top of the world," said Joel.

Be happy, give your burdens to God. Everyone will be the better for your day. And so I am planning for a grace-filled day, because I know there are lots of demanding days ahead and I am pacing myself--with my heart aimed at joy, rest and whatever I can do to build the peace and harmony my soul longs for and needs. Peace be yours today--the Lord is near.

World changers in the making, The Rocky Mountain Classic, Denver, Co

"It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge." - Albert Einstein

Brilliant, wonderful, resilient speech and debate students practicing the art of thinking and communication here in Denver.

The ever present box of research cards for Apologetics.

Debate teams and such fun friends.

Joy in her gray and pink--the kids all have to wear professional suits of gray, black or a solid dark colors. She and her speaking partner, (her dramatic duo partner--always have to match--blouse and tie--it is tradition.)

All of this made me ponder the process of developing speakers and adults who can articulate their convictions and who can defend truth and great ideas..........

Candles fluttering in the cool evening air, music lilting softly in the background did not match the lively and loud conversation that was trumping everything else. Opinions were flying loudly, everyone fighting to be heard, laughter, more loudness and more opinions.

"Can't we just have one quiet evening where we just sit and enjoy the dinner table?" I asked wistfully.

Our nightly dinner table was the location of all of this brain life and our children and Clay and I were the participants. Every night, day after day, year after year, our dinner table discussions took on a life of their own. Books discussed, Biblical philosophy, scripture, contemporary issues, art, music, Hollywood, Washington D.C., travel, everything that could be discussed was discussed. Questions were always welcome and every opinion was evaluated. Articles read, people quoted, scripture and world view a regular subject. We would never consider exchanging television for what could be a rousing conversation.

Education is not about filling the bucket, Erasmus said, it is about lighting a fire. Education is not complete unless we pass on to our children the love of thinking, engaging in great and world changing ideas, and the nightly table is the very place for the training and shaping of great thinkers to practice. It is John and Abigail did with their children, and Sarah and Jonathon Edwards, and Napoleon with his own mother and so many more. A historical basis for cultivating a brilliant thinker.

Much as Jesus discipled his men or Plato and Socrates pontificated over discussions, we considered exposing our children to the best thinkers, writers, ideas and leaders and then discussing it all and allowing their brains to deeply engage in these ideas was the exercise of their brains.

Brain muscle or mental muscles is how we have explained it over the years to other young parents that have asked us, "How did you shape your children into speakers and thinkers, even though they have different personalities and skills sets in their lives?"

From the beginning of our parenting, Clay and I knew that we always wanted our children to have to practice speaking and thinking and engaging their brains to become communicators. Why? Because we wanted them to learn to handle accurately the truth of God's word, and Biblical world view.

And so, back to the Denver tournament, here at Metro Araria College, as I have been judging debate and speaking and Apologetics rounds the last couple of days, I have been reminded again, how important that parents teach their children and train them and cultivate in them the skill and desire to own their own ideas so that they may become defenders of all that is true in their life time. Speech is a great place to cultivate these skills with a great, positive peer pressure group of friends who are all thinking and discussing and practicing excellence of thought together.

The real heroes, of course, are the unsung leaders, moms and dads, who took the time to train, read, encourage and help write the speeches, to find the matching suits for all of their children, to travel far and near to take them to days of speech tournaments, and to spend zillions of hours judging and timing and counting ballots, so that their children might master this art of thinking and have an arena in which to rehearse for real life.

Great company all around and I sense the Spirit of God moving in the minds and hearts of those who will become the voices of the next generation.

Off to judge a few more rounds!

Two turquoise peas in a pod! Pretty cute!

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I have been overwhelmingly encouraged by all of you who have written, joined our new website for moms (Momheart.org) and have encouraged us with our new dream of an outreach. You have blessed me and my sweet friends who are helping beyond belief. We are most blessed to have you with us. Thanks for taking the time to help us reach others and to encourage us in our labor of love.

Announcing Momheart.org! Celebrating Motherhood

Emil Österman - Mother and child In every culture and in every generation, a mother and child reflect the beauty of God's design of womanhood. God intentionally crafted babies so that they would be fragile, dependent creatures that would need the love, songs, touch, inspiration and nurture of a mother. When a woman understands that one of the greatest gifts she will ever receive from her creator is to have the opportunity to touch eternity through artfully nurturing the mind, heart and soul of a child, whose life will have implications for all of eternity, her life joins in kingdom purposes with God.

Motherhood is one of the most strategic Biblical callings for women at this time in history. When a mother understands God's design for her to raise a godly generation in her home, who can love and serve God and pass on righteousness to their own generation, there will be hope for that nation. Moral excellence, faith, emotional health, intellectual excellence and great works of mankind all stem from the home that wisdom builds as women embrace God's call on their lives.

FOR SEVERAL YEARS, CLAY AND I HAVE BEEN PONDERING, HOW CAN WE HELP REACH OUT IN A BETTER WAY TO MOMS ALL OVER THE WORLD? SO WE HAVE DREAMED OF A SITE WHERE LIKE-MINDED MOMS, WHO HAVE A BIBLICAL PHILOSOPHY OF MOTHERHOOD, COULD GATHER FOR FELLOWSHIP, ENCOURAGEMENT, TRAINING TO START SMALL GROUPS, AUDIO, BOOKS AND EVERY KIND OF ENCOURAGEMENT IN THIS GREAT TASK AS A MOM.

AND SO TODAY IS THE DAY OF OUR LAUNCH FOR

MOM HEART ONLINE  and take a peak at our new site and let us know what you think.

And please let your friends know! I will be giving away tapes and all of our fellow authors are going to be giving away my books today if you go to their site, as well. Let me know what you think in comments and you will be entered into the drawing for 4 downloads of our audio tapes of your choice form our conferences.

And pray that we will reach precious moms from all over the world!

Thanks for being our partners in this.

Something New is Coming! (Plus a Giveaway!)

Mary Cassat

Scroll to the bottom for how you can be a part of my something new!

Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances. Proverbs 25:11

Shadows were dancing in the early morning light that was beginning to fill the room. Holding baby Sarah in my arms and gazing upon her long eyelashes as she slept with deep sighs upon my lap, I was overcome with amazement and fear all at the same time. I wasn't sure how to handle a baby. I had never babysat more than once or twice or changed a diaper or cared for a sick infant. Here she was, gasping for breath, burning with fever and I was feeling helpless.

Many other times, I felt helpless as a mom of 4 young children. No one had taught me how  to manage this task and often I would feel the inadequacy of my own training or lack there of. I knew that there were lasting consequences in the lives of children about how they were parented and raised, but there was so much confusion in my world of voices. And so, when Clay and I were talking in the wee hours of the night, he said, "What would help? What do you wish you had?"

And as I laid out my wish for Biblical, natural, wise encouragement, inspiration about why I was doing this--giving my life to these precious little ones who took all of my energy, drained me of my patience, demanded my time and focussed attention. We dreamed right there in the small cluttered room of our home, a mom's conference that would give mothers fellowship and close friendship and strength and inspiration to know how to embrace this great call on their lives with grace, truth and love.

Now, over 15 years later, with numerous conference seasons under our belts, and our children grown, we have finally finished putting these conference tapes online. Our hope is that for so many moms who felt like I did, a need for help and encouragement along the way, there will be words of life to fill your own souls and minds with inspiration. We have had requests for many years from women all over the world to put our conference tapes in a form that can be downloaded.

Finally, we have managed to put them online so that they may be downloaded.

And so, to celebrate...

We will be giving away 4 talks from our new catalogue of fifteen years of recorded messages!

 

Now for the really exciting news:

Tomorrow we are launching a new network for moms! We hope to be a source of encouragement and inspiration to moms all over the world. By God's grace and with the help of kindred spirit friends, we have gathered writers who have the same heart for encouragement, books to study and encourage, a ministry of small groups and a place where we hope to build the kinds of resources that will help moms be faithful for many years to come. Our ministry is small and Clay and I are limited in time and resources, but we have a great team of friends and a heart to inspire and help young families all over the world to know and understand the truth of raising a godly generation in their own homes.

Will you help us spread the word?

We will be launching Mom Heart Online and we would so appreciate it if you could help us spread the word. The site will be live early tomorrow morning at momheart.org (currently it re-directs here).

As a "thank-you" for spreading the word, all of you who Facebook or Tweet or blog about the launch (tomorrow) will be entered to win the conference talks. Just leave a comment letting us know how you spread the word!

Here is the nitty gritty for your posts and tweets! 
Website: Mom Heart (will be live tomorrow morning)
 Facebook: Mom Heart
The link for our audio tapes, if you want to order them is HERE.
Please come back tomorrow to help us celebrate one of our dreams to build a ministry network for moms all over the world.
And we do covet your prayers for our family as we seek to labor by faith in what we feel is the legacy of faith God has called our family to build for future generations.

 

It's just been one of those days.........

My shelf in our den

Monday morning and I have a zillion articles to write for different networks and blogs and a ministry newsletter in light of a really fun and big announcement we have coming this week, (stay tuned and get ready to help us promote our ministry venture to moms).

We had unpacked some boxes from my mom's home that have sat in our garage for 6 months untouched because of busy life and surgery.

So, Joel and Joy and I had a plan to work for 1 hour this morning putting some of the things away and into our house. I thought I could add some of the treasures I had given to her and then inherited on my den bookshelf to spruce it up just a bit.

We want this to be our European room with little treasures that we had bought when in missions many years ago. And so we were getting some things arranged in an interesting way, when I walked across the floor to bring just one more thing to add,

Antique hutch from England with king, queen and angels atop--framed k and q from my days in Poland as a missionary.

when....some framed pictures, lying against the stairs, slipped as I was walking by, I stepped into one of them, and trying not to knock anything else down, slid on the glass like a skate board across our wood floor, trying not to get cut and trying not to fall flat and knock my teeth out, so in slow motion, twisted, turned, smashed my toes, wrenched my ankle, hit my knee and then slammed face down onto the floor. Wish I had a movie of it all.

After putting on ice on my ankle and toes and taking some ibuprofen, I am left with soar neck, shoulder, ankle and knee and am now back to thinking about writing--

but at least most of the things are put away and the shelves look more interesting and less cluttered again.

Off to have a more boring day, Lord willing.

 

Happy St. Pat's Day!

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Today, I am making homemade cinnamon rolls before we all go out and tackle the garage! We have piles of giveaway, throw-away, unbox from my mom's estate, clean out---all that fun stuff you put off and put off.

That is why I am starting out with the bribery of homemade cinnamon rolls.

Then we will go downtown to one of our favorite family Irish pubs where we will either get fish and chips, shepherd's pie or the best hamburger in the world and listen to Celtic Musicians play and jig to the Celtic Music our family loves.

St. Patrick was one of the favorite biographies our family read aloud, so we always celebrate him.

And, as you can see, we made a cake that is in honor of the Irish four leaf clover--we do have some Irish on both sides of our lineage--at least enough for us to celebrate the day today. Enjoy!

And, PS, be looking for something new next week. I am excited about what is stirring in Itakejoy and in Momheart ministry and we will want you to help us spread the new adventure. Stay tuned!

Discipleship is heart work

Dirck Van Baburen

Jesus, kneeling down in the dusty floor, mingling his hands with toes, dirt and smell, lovingly touching and firmly wiping the feet of His beloved friends, amidst stench, noise and eating, laughing, living. Reaching their hearts, souls and minds with the depth of the call of the kingdom was an embracing of the reality of daily life amongst full-blooded, crusty, men, hungry to fulfill a life's purpose that captivated their deepest longings to see that their lives mattered..

Jesus didn't just talk about having a ministry from a broad, tall pulpit with a resounding microphone, while disappearing between sermons. He lived a deeply personal life with words and instruction as well as integrity and generous love demonstrated in each moment of every day and he served and bowed his knee to meet the needs and desires of those He loved.  He taught compassion, and then he demonstrated it by healing the sick, touching those with leprocy, drinking water with the prostitute, holding and caressing children, feeding those who were hungry.

Each of us longs to be a part of a great cause, an epoch story and each of us longs to belong in the hearts of someone in the world who cares for us. We can exist within the mundane moments of motherhood or marriage or work longer if we know and understand that somehow it is meaningful to our over-arching life story and heritage, a history that we are passing on, when we daily stoop to serve, and patiently give of our energy to meet the needs of others.

But we long to know our lives can make a real difference, that our being alive and making right choices isn't just about duty, but about a heart-gripping reality that will make a purposeful impact in the lives of others- and to know that someone cares about our life sacrifices and investment of our time.

We need to recognize these same needs in the heart of our children. "Our children's hearts long ot be a part of a great cause. Training our children for ministry needs to be at the center of everything we are attempting to do with our lives. Serving God and loving Him is not about knowing all of the right rules and keeping them; it is about cultivating compassion in the hearts of our children for a lost world and showing them how they can be a part of His great plans for them to reach their world in their lifetime." The Mom Walk

Jesus called his disciples away from tasks to make an imprint on history, "Follow me and I will make you fishers of men!" "Go into the world and make disciples." "These uneducated men have turned the world upside down."

Paul and Peter were willing and joyfully sacrificed their lives because they knew, they deeply understood, they were a part of the movement of the Spirit of God to redeem the world for their creator, they were kingdom laborers. The passion in their heart gave them the power to serve. Service without heart kills the soul.

And so, when we seek to disciple our children, it is cultivating in them a vision for their importance to Christ's work, a hope that they are needed to fulfill a kingdom cause--with their unique personality and skills, and then giving them practice in serving others as they grow up in our homes, which are the center of ministry. It is about them watching us serve and being caught up in the beauty of our loving, giving to, serving and inspiring others from the integrity and compassion of our own hearts and lives, that their hearts will be captured.

Hearing about ministry, seeing ministry taking place and giving them a place to serve and be needed is the process of captivating their hearts with a passion that will last them their whole lives is the process of shaping them into life-long disciples of Jesus.  Discipleship is not about indoctrination, discipleship is heart work.

Living in the present moment with an eye toward eternity

Capella Star

When the morning stars sang together And all the sons of God shouted for joy? Job 38:7

Some years ago, our family was sharing delectable hamburgers and sizzling steaks outside on the mountain deck of close friends. They had borrowed a high powered telescope from a relative to give all of our children an opportunity to celebrate the night sky on a clear summer's night. Having never had this experience, I had no idea  how deeply beguiled my soul would become from viewing the intricate artistry of God amongst the constellations, cast out infinitely amongst the heavens above.

After every child had taken his turn at the amazing telescope and gasped and danced in delight, my children all said, "Mom, you have to see this--this is your star--it is bright blue!" (my favorite color)

As I peered into the scope, it took my eyes a few seconds to adjust to the picture inside the scope, and suddenly, I was confronted by an astonishingly bright blue, dancing star, seemingly sparkling and turning in beauty and celebration of life. I was mesmerized as I had heard all of my life of "twinkling" stars, but had never seen something so clearly beautiful with my own eyes. The telescope had revealed to me what had always been there but what I had never been able to perceive with my own limited powers.

I was deeply changed that night, unexpectedly. Confronted once again with the "bigness" of God, the divine beauty and power beyond my understanding. A realization dawned on me that I can only see circumstances and the steps of my journey from a very limited perspective. Yet, God, my heavenly Father, who is vastly more infinite and wise than my small mind can comprehend, is above all moments and all days.

Often, as a "toddler" I can shake my fist and say, "God, don't you care that I am going under or that you are making my life or marriage or children's lives more difficult than I can imagine?"

And yet, God is not threatened by my tantrums as He has lived through the fist shaking and heart rending prayers of so many generations of children. And because He is a good Father, He does not give in to our demands, knowing that His will is far better for us and that He truly is able to turn all things together for the good for those of us who are called to His purposes and who are willing to wait upon Him to work His ways through us.

Usually serving God requires endless waiting on His timing and His ways. And yet, if we could remember the lesson of capella star--there are things going on that are truer than the present issues and circumstances that we perceive. God is suiting our soul, building our character, stretching our spiritual and mental and emotional muscles to become Holy, to truly be able to reflect Christ back through us to a world so desperately in need of light. If we obediently trust Him and wait for Him and rest in the knowledge that He is good, even though we live in a fallen place, we will live to see His goodness and His blessing abundantly in His time. He redeems all, He restores all, He is the resurrection power.

Yet, all things may not be obvious until we are with Him, in His place in eternity.

Jesus said, "My kingdom is not of this world." If we are living for satisfaction and glory in this world, we will not find ultimate satisfaction. I wish I had not fought against God so many times in the years of my family's journey. God allowed so much, but He was also there to walk with me through all of the harsh realities of life and in the midst of it, He forged faith and depth and character in the lives of my children that they would otherwise not have had.

When we pray, "God make my children holy!", we must understand that it means their road and ours will be challenging and stretching, as all of our faith muscles will have to be stretched in order for us to become strong. I see that in spite of the ways my mother heart would have over-protected my children, God was having His way and building my children into strong adults. His ways trumped my ways because He heard my prayer to make them strong.

I love this quote by David Adam, from the Edge of Glory:

"He forever goes before us to prepare a place for us. He is on the road we tread. Wherever life is leading us, He has gone before. Perhaps we have no clue about what lies ahead; we know who is ahead of us, so the future is not quite unknown." 

Waiting for spring and other this and thats

Living very near the national forest is one of the advantages of living in Monument, Co. Enjoying the almost spring breezes, breathing in the mountain air and resting is just what I have needed, as I left my energy and strength somewhere along the trail of our conferences and travel.

The tiny flowers beginning to bud by the rocks are a promise of what is ahead to me. I am seeking the Lord anew and pondering how to live life better in balance. It is good to re-look at life every once in a while. I am so introverted at heart, and do not like a center of attention role, (unless it is with my own family and children) and so it seems the adrenalin runs right out of me when I am with people constantly and do not always manage it properly. I do love the wonderful people I meet along the way and being able to be a part of what the Lord is spreading--but my body doesn't always like the demands.

I have been home a few days just reflecting, enjoying my sweet family, sleeping and trying to regain a longer term perspective. So many ideas, so many books to write, so little time.

I have received such sweet letters and encouragement amidst comments and facebook, emails and snail mail. All of these have been heartfelt to me, as I can, at times, wonder whether or not it is time to stop, with so much else out there on the internet and in ministry. But your notes, indeed  encourage me to keep writing, and I so appreciate all of you who are thoughtful enough to take the time to keep me going.

Just normal, mundane moments taking my time. Constantly cooking, (I enjoy--it is the dishes that are not my forte! ) Joy went horseback riding and of course I warned, "Don't fall off the horse." And so she did, :), but by God's grace, she didn't hurt herself. Enjoying each moment I have with her to share secrets and hearts before she takes off for college next year.

Joel heard from Denver University that he got accepted to the Master's Degree Composing School and with scholarships and a possible teaching position, so after months of waiting, that is good news--and I will get to have him nearer this time--with all sorts of good excuses to run up to Denver. He has been such a great and fun companion through all the travel and work of conferences and tourney's, and evidence that God sees the desires of my heart, by granting me these three months with him.

Nathan has been in a MacDonald's commercial and one for Gatorade, so he is paying the bills and we are all most grateful. He sends me regular encouraging texts and we call each other so very often, but I still feel so blessed to be his friend and never take it for granted that he would still like to talk to his mama.

Sarah finished her Oxford course with great reviews on her papers and much to her exhaustion, and she is now traveling in England with her childhood chum. They hiked 8 miles today and saw Beatrix Potter's home and ate a lovely picnic, (the famous daffodils are in bloom)  and drank tea and made me a little bit jealous.

Her menu review made my mouth water, "The food is excellent though - last night we had lemon thyme risotto with roasted fish and potatoes, tonight, we had a steak with blue cheeses sauce, and I got sticky toffee pudding for dessert. Oh my, SO good."

Just wish someone was cooking that for me. I do so love feasts and good company!

Clay is busy working on Heart-felt Discipline and a zillion other things all at once,  and I am pondering 2 more books that are begging to be written, but also wishing I could find a reasonable housekeeper so I could write at leisure and have the house organized and clean at the end of the day, without me having to do it or cajole one of the kids, who are always on the go, to do it. Always mounts of messes where there is family life.

Arranging hotel rooms for Joy's speech tournament in Denver next week. We will leave on Wednesday and come home Saturday night.

We will have rice and with French herbs and baked citron chicken (lemon and orange) tonight for dinner. I am wishing I could lose 20 pounds without making that much effort.

But just wanted you, my sweet friends, to know I am alive and thinking of you. Would appreciate your prayers for me as I ponder how to plan life and commitments the next year.

Grace and peace in the midst. Off to take a pre-dinner walk.